And They Were Roommates - orphan_account (2024)

Chapter 1: Establishing Feelings

Chapter Text

Felix has been your roommate for just over 7 months. It wasn’t the first time you’ve had a male roommate but he was certainly the best one you’ve had. Living with him has been nothing but a joy and you’ve grown ridiculously close to him in those 7 short months. You love the way he has the ability to always make you laugh even on your darkest days. You enjoy the fact that he likes horror movies but always gets scared by them. The way he sometimes makes you coffee because he knows you need it for your morning classes. You wouldn’t trade your friendship with him for the world.

“‘Lix! I’m borrowing your hoodie ‘cuz all of mine are dirty and I need to go right now okay bye!” You shout hurriedly against the bathroom door after knocking. You pull the hoodie over your head with a cheeky smile as you hear him shout “Huh?!” after you. You hear the shower turn off and that was your queue to grab your stuff and bolt out of the door.

You sit down in your first class for the day and take a sip of the iced coffee he made for you that morning with a smile. How he manages to get it perfect every time, you don’t know. But you appreciate it immensely.

Upon arriving home that evening, you discover that the apartment is quiet. Too quiet. Felix should’ve been home by now, you think. You set your keys down on the table and slip your shoes off, scanning the living room for signs of him. You walk down the hallway to your guys’ rooms and you raise a hand to knock on his door. Before you can make contact with it, you hear a muffled groan on the opposite side. You stop in your tracks as you try to distinguish the sound. Another, slightly louder groan is able to be heard and your jaw slacks. You run into your room right across the hallway from him and you accidentally close the door a little too loudly.

Unbeknownst to you, in Felix’s room, he removes his headphones at the sound of a door slamming. He puts down the bottle of ointment in his hand and hops off his bed. Poking his head into the hallway, he checks the shoes at the front door and then makes his way to your room.

Knock knock. You flinch when you hear him at your door and hurry to try and make yourself look busy. The door opens and he walks in. You luckily have your back turned to him as you look at some things on your bookshelf.

“Hey?” He questions, leaning against the doorframe.

“Oh, hi,” You offer over your shoulder.

“Did something happen to you today?” He crosses his arms and co*cks his eyebrow quizzically. You tense as you turn around. He’s only wearing lounge clothes and you mentally let out a sigh of relief.

“Uh - no nothing too important,” Your eyes look everywhere but him. My god, you need to pull yourself together. You shake your head a little to clear your thoughts and force yourself to look at his face. “What about you?”

He hums in thought. “I accidentally ate sh*t today; my legs took the worst of it but my back also got pretty banged up,” he motions to his legs. Your eyebrows shoot up your face. “And putting the ointment on it is hurting a lot.”

Realization dawns on your face as you fight back an embarrassed blush. You put a hand over your face to calm down the rising color and he just laughs sheepishly.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to attempt any of those more ‘radical’ tricks anymore?” Your embarrassed state dissipates and instead you’re left with a concerned expression.

“Yeah so the funny thing about that is, it was a pebble that got lodged in between my skates,” He flashed an embarrassed grin. You close your eyes and suck in your lips in an attempt to not laugh. You put a hand over your mouth as you try to hold his eye contact. You inhale sharply as you try to keep your composure.

“Mhm yes that….that makes a lot of sense,” You say in mock seriousness. He just rolls his eyes with a smile.

“Actually I’m glad you’re here now. I need help with my backside,” He smiles at you pointedly.

“Yeah fine as long as I get some kind of payment,” You push him out of your room and into his. He groans obnoxiously as you guys enter and he sits on his bed.

“Okay now strip,” You playfully order, waving your hand in front of him.

“Aw, if you wanted to see me naked so badly, you could’ve hopped into the shower with me this morning,” He replied, batting his eyes at you. Used to his antics, you simply stick your tongue out at him. He chuckled in response and removed his shirt. His toned abs and defined shoulders always had you staring, not that he minded. He sat with his back facing you and gave you the ointment. You traced your fingers over his back and observed the cuts he got today. He winced as you did.

“sh*t, dude there’s so many new ones,” You murmur softly. He simply nods. He tenses his back every time you pass over a new one. You remove your hand and apply some of the ointment to your index and middle finger. You rest the rest of your fingers against his back and he straightens up a bit. You apply the lightest amount to his skin to gauge his reaction and he tenses his body slightly in response. You put more pressure and drag your fingers against the length of the wound. He hisses at this and flinches away slightly. As you massage the ointment in, he lets out a few low groans and you have to force yourself not to pay attention to them.

“Okay that should be all of them,” You stand up and hold your hands out, careful not to dirty his bedsheets with the ointment. He turns back around to look at you with a pained smile.

“You’re a lifesaver,” He gives you a quick hug and then helps you into the bathroom. You wash your hands with him in the bathroom adjusting his hair and looking at his own muscles.

“You think I’ve made progress yet?” He flexes his biceps, studying them intently. You pause while drying your hands to rake your eyes over his torso.

“Yeah I think weightlifting has been doing its job,” You smile. He doesn’t seem too convinced so you continue, “Your biceps are more defined now than they were 3 months ago.” He looks over at you and lowers his arm, smiling. You can’t help but smile back and you exit the bathroom.

Walking out into the living room and flopping down on the couch, you call out to him, “‘Lix can you order us pizza or something? I don’t want to cook,” You whine.

“Yeah sure; I think we’ve earned it,” He picks up his phone and you giggle, putting your hands on your stomach.

“I think we’ve earned it,” You repeat, copying his accent and laughing some more. He walks over to the couch with the phone against his ear and chucks a pillow at your head as he starts ordering. You sit up with the pillow in your lap as you playfully glare at his back. You pick up the pillow and swing it at his head. He gets cut off from his sentence by it and you have to clap a hand over your mouth to keep from being too loud. You hear him cheerfully get off the phone and he picks up the pillow. He turns around and lunges towards you as you yelp and try to get away. He lands on the couch and as you try to scramble away he pulls you back by your legs as you’re squealing. He sits on them as he beats you with the pillow.

“The phone operator heard, you f*cking idiot,” He says in between laughs. You put your hands out to block the incoming blows of the pillow but he resorts to just shoving the pillow into your face. You slap his thigh a few times and he finally removes it. He holds it above his head as he allows the both of you to calm down and take a breath. You’re panting and giggling and your hair is all over the place as you calm down. He hits you one more time for good measure and you start giggling all over again. He puts the pillow down and swings his legs off of yours to help you sit up.

“Oi Felix, you messed up my hair, bro,” You pout, still copying his accent. He sticks his tongue into his cheek to feign annoyance but he just looks amused. He motions for you to sit down on the floor in front of him and so you slink down the couch to sit in between his legs. Another great thing about Felix, is that he also had long hair, or what would be considered long for men, at one point so he can help you take care of your hair, which is just about the same length as his once was. He combs it with his fingers as you scroll on the TV looking for a movie to watch with him tonight. He uses the hair tie that you let him borrow to tie your hair into a small braid and he smacks the back of your head once he finishes.

“All better now?” It’s now his turn to copy your accent and he smirks.

“Yeah. Are you going to put a shirt on now?” You look him up and down pointedly.

“No, I think I’m good like this,” He puts his hands behind his head and crosses his legs contentedly. You remember that you’re still wearing his hoodie from before and you decide to pull it off. As you tug it up, the shirt you have on underneath starts to rise a little too high and Felix can feel his heart skip a beat for some reason and he moves to help you keep it down. But alas, you beat him to it and you push it back down while removing the article of clothing from your body and chucking it at him.

“There. Now it’s also nice and warm,” You grin obnoxiously at him. He sticks his tongue out at you now and pulls the hoodie over himself. He snuggles into it and the doorbell ends up ringing. You hurriedly go over to pick up the box of warm pizza and you put it on the coffee table in front of the both of you. Felix shifts to put his elbows on his knees to grab a slice of pizza and a napkin. You both eat as you make small talk about your day and then it’s time for your weekly movie night.

“Ooh I think we should continue the Friday the 13th movies!” Felix excitedly said as you lingered on one of the movies. You reluctantly agreed and turned off the lights in the house to enjoy it better. You sat back next to him as you both stretched out on the long part of the couch.

“Give me some of that,” You shimmy underneath the blanket he had draped over himself and you sighed happily underneath it.

“Can you move any more?” He looked down at you. You opened your mouth to respond but you just started rolling around instead. He yelped as you almost knocked him off of the couch and you stopped moving. He glared at you for a second before putting an arm around you and cuddling up comfortably. You lay your head into his chest and your eyes gaze into the TV. As the movie continues to play, you both make jokes about the main characters and make bets on who you think would die first.

An hour or so into the movie, you turn on your side and attach yourself entirely to his body, exhausted from the week. He just glances down at you and reaches for the remote. He pauses the movie and untangles himself from you gently. You protest silently as you curl up against nothing. He suppresses a small giggle as he removes the blanket and picks you up in his arms.

“No, Felix ‘m comfortable,” You sleepily announce.

“Yeah yeah but I’m not,” He responds as he walks into your room. You groan in his arms and try responding but you’re too tired to care. He sets you down on one side of your bed and pulls the covers back on the other side. You sway sleepily as you sit. He huffs as he picks you up once again to place you under the blankets.

“I hope you know I can’t pick you up,” You slightly slur. He laughs quietly at your attempts to communicate with him in your sleep.

“Yeah? And that’s relevant because…?” He puts you down and watches you curl up again.

“If you fell asleep on the couch I wouldn’t carry you to your room,” You smirk with your eyes still closed. He picks up the pillow on your right and smacks your head with it. A muffled “ow” escapes your lips and he plops the pillow back down.

“Okay now you have to stay here and I get to use you as my teddy bear for the night,” You grumble, latching onto his wrist.

“No way. You move around too much in your sleep!” He snatches his wrist away and starts to leave but you throw your arms around his waist.

“Pleeeaaaaaaase,” You draw out sleepily. He let’s out a deep sigh. Moving you back into your bed, he tucks you in and leans down to brush your hair away from your face.

“Fine. I’m just going to go change,” He says softly. You crack your eyes open and smirk.

“I knew you wouldn’t turn me down.”

“Yeah sure you did,” He rolls his eyes and scampers off to his room. He removes the hoodie he was wearing and opts for a loose white shirt. It was a nice temperature outside but he ends up sweating easily. He changes his jeans for black sweatpants and removes his ear piercings. He brushes his teeth and then makes his way to your room.

You turn over to face the door as he walks in and he shoots you a confused look.

“You’re supposed to be asleep,” He says as he walks over. You hum in agreement.

“I want to cuddle,” You say plainly and pull the blankets back for him. He huffs out a laugh.

“Yeah I know. We often sleep together because of it,” He sits down and shuffles closer to you.

“Are you saying you don’t like our sleepovers?” You pretend to be offended.

“No! They’re nice.” He assures you. “Now go to sleep. You’re tired and so am I.” You nod as you reattach yourself to his side and he pats your hair. He cards his fingers through your hair to help you sleep faster.

“G’night, Lix,” You whisper out against his chest.

“Goodnight. Now sleep,” He finalizes. You let out a mocking noise. “I’ll go back to my room if you don’t go to sleep,” That shuts you up and you tense up against him. “That’s what I thought.”

When he feels you relax against him, he ceases the motions with his fingers and allows himself to close his eyes and finally relax as well.

Chapter 2: Meeting the Rest of Them

Chapter Text

When you woke up on Saturday, you were pleasantly surprised to see Felix still sleeping by your side peacefully. His eyes were closed and his dark hair was splayed out around the pillow he was sleeping on. His shirt was bunched up just under his belly button and his lips were parted. You look up at him to see a little puddle of drool on your pillowcase and your jaw drops. You sit up and contemplate waking him up about it. You rub your eyes and decide to berate him about it later.

Walking into the bathroom to start your morning routine, you blink sleepily at yourself in the mirror. You yawn as you reach for a hair tie to get your hair out of your face. You brush your teeth and splash some cold water into your face which helps you wake up faster. As the remnants of sleep leave your body, you take your hair down and tie it into two small braids.

Trailing into the kitchen, you connect your phone to the speaker to start on breakfast. You were craving waffles and would kill for some right now. You kept the music low, careful not to wake up your roommate but loud enough that you could tune out the world. Swaying your hips to the rhythm, you use the whisk as a microphone and you sing along quite loudly.

“I will never know how you get to be so energetic in the morning,” You hear Felix grumble in the hallway as he walks in. You smile giddily at him.

“I’ve learned to enjoy the morning. Just do things you like early in the day and you’ll have a better day,” You say, pausing to check the recipe on your phone. He offers you a groan as a response as he sits at the kitchen table. It’s really obvious he basically just rolled out of bed. You find it amusing that, even while half asleep, he still manages to put on a beanie to cover up his bed head. He inhales deeply as he stretches and watches you cook.

“I hope you’re making enough for me as well. Since I went through the trouble of carrying you to bed last night,” He rests his chin on his palm.

“Oh of course. Anything for my prince charming,” You tease him as you pour the waffle batter into the waffle maker. “However, you did drool on my pillow so I think you should make your own coffee today.”

He lets his hand slap the table as his jaw drops. He smiles with his mouth still open and he gets up to start the coffee machine.

“Felix, what do you want to do today?” You ask once he sits back down with his coffee in his hands. He hummed as he took a sip of it with his eyes closed.

“I could introduce you to my mates if you want,” He sets down his cup. Your eyes sparkle as you hand him a plate of waffles. He thanks you quietly as you sit in front of him.

“I absolutely want to meet them! You never seem to want us to meet,” You look up at him as you cut your waffles. He shrugs as he chews but then breaks into a smile.

“They’re just too much at times,” He smiles at his plate as he recalls the fond memories of his friends.

“Isn’t that all friends tho?” You offer. He looks thoughtful for a moment before letting out a noise of agreement.

“I’ll talk to them about doing something then. Anything you want to do?” He asks before taking a sip of his coffee.

“We could just have them over. We’ve lived together for what, 6 months-”

“7 months” He interrupts, standing up quickly and walking to the sink.

“Okay.. 7 months now and they still haven’t been here. Kinda rude dontcha think?” You push around the waffle on your plate, a smile dancing on your lips. He eyes you from the sink.

“I know you’re trying to get me to agree but damn you for being right,” He flicks water at your face and dries his hands off. You sputter for a moment and wipe it off. You have a triumphant smile on your lips as you quickly finish your breakfast.

“What time should they come over then?” You plop down on the couch with him after you finish doing the dishes. He taps through his phone quickly before turning to look at you.

“Like….4 maybe?” He questioned. You gave him a nod.

“Yeah we should be able to clean up by then,” You mused. He threw his head back in a groan.

“Our home looks fine as it is,” He whines, looking at you with puppy dog eyes.

“C’mon you big baby,” You jest as you pull his ankles off of the couch. He whines until his butt hits the carpeted floor.

“You’re in charge of the kitchen and the bathroom. I can take the living room and the hallway, okay?” You remark. He nods reluctantly and pushes himself off of the floor.

“I’m gonna go change my pants,” He scurries away before you can offer a rebuttal. You follow his idea and run back into your room to change out of pajamas. Opting for gym shorts and an old shirt of yours, you walk back into the living room, happy to see Felix already back into the kitchen wiping down the table.

“Aw, I thought you were going to bail on me,” You cooed, taking the vacuum from the cleaning closet.

He puts a hand up to his heart in mock hurt. “You wound me.”

You place your speaker on top of the kitchen table after he finishes cleaning it and throw on your favorite upbeat playlist that has both you and Felix singing along.

About half an hour into cleaning, you find yourself dancing with Felix in the living room, singing along to Summer Nights from Grease. Sweat clings to the both of you as you finish the song. You double over with your hands on your knees as you laugh breathlessly. Felix has his hands over his head as he laughs with you.

“Okay, okay let’s finish up. I really need to shower,” You curl your nose as you feel your shirt stick to your skin. He nods in agreement, too winded to offer an actual response. You go back to picking up your things around the living room and tossing a throw blanket on one end of the couch. You walk to your room and set your things down on your bed. You grab the vacuum again and clean out the hallway of anything in the carpet.

“I call dibs on showering first!” Felix shouted as he parkoured over you and into the bathroom. You groan loudly as you turn off the vacuum and turn to put it away. You inspect the kitchen to see if he did well and you were impressed. Everything looked spotless. Pleased, you walk into your room to tidy it up a bit. You hum along to the last few songs on your playlist as you hear Felix knock on your door, letting you know he was done.

After your much needed shower, you walk back into your room to decide on what to wear. It’s nothing too out there; it’s comfortable clothes but it wasn’t boring either. You quickly throw on some light makeup and let your hair come down. You ruffle it gently and admire yourself for a moment longer. Happy with how you look, you waltz out of your room and into the living room. Felix changed into a black and white sweater with ripped black jeans and his staple beanie. He looks up at you as you enter the room. You sit back next to him and reach for the remote.

“We have like 3 hours to kill. You want to finish the movie from last night?” You spoke. He looks up from his phone and nods excitedly, shutting it off and sliding it back into his pocket. He gets comfortable with a pillow on his lap and you resume the movie from where it ended.

By the time the end credits roll around, you’re both clinging on to one another. You blink slowly at the screen.

“All in favor of watching a Disney movie?” He proclaims, diving for the remote and changing channels. You nod absentmindedly beside him.

“I don’t want to watch another horror movie for a while,” You shiver. He nods with you and puts on Hercules for the two of you to enjoy.

As the movie finishes, you find yourself curled up on one side of the couch, struggling to stay awake. Felix is wide awake and is basically quoting every single line.

“Wow, I didn’t know you were in this movie, Lix,” You comment sleepily.

“Yeah Disney called me up and asked me to play every single character, y’know?” He puts a hand on his heart as he bragged jokingly. You shove a pillow at him playfully as you chuckle, curling up some more.

“No, no you need to be awake. You’re the one who wants to meet my friends!” He groans as you pull the blanket over your head. He rips it away from your body as you sigh heavily. It takes all the strength in your body to push yourself to sit and you stretch, nice and big. A few cracks are heard from your torso as Felix whistles at them softly.

“I don’t think you’ve had that many cracks in a stretch before. That’s a new record!” He gives you a thumbs up. You chuckle again sleepily.

“I’m gonna make myself some coffee then. Want some?” You trudge over to the kitchen. He shakes his head but stands up to follow you anyways.

“I just want some water. All that singing made me thirsty,” He remarks, filling up a glass of water for himself. You hum in acknowledgement as you brew your coffee. He sets down his cup and walks over to the area next to you, placing a hand on the small of your back to move you gently to the side. You tense at the surprising touch but relax once he grabs what he needs and leaves. You let out another long exhale but cover it up by faking a yawn.

“Oh, Felix, can you grab me the almond milk please?” You turn to him with the cup of coffee in your hands.

“Yeah sure,” He sets down the bag of chips he grabbed and swung open the fridge door. You were busy stirring in some sugar into your coffee to notice him approaching behind you. He places the milk down as he looks at you over your shoulder. You’re painfully aware of his presence as he puts the milk down. Why are you so affected by him right now? He’s literally just standing behind you. You grab some ice cubes from the bowl you had laid out earlier and then top off your drink with the milk. Bringing the drink up to your lips, you let out a sigh of content, briefly forgetting about the boy behind you.

“I changed my mind. I want to try some,” He says close to your ear. His deep voice causes a shiver to ripple down your spine. He leans over your left shoulder and you offer him your cup. He grabs it, his fingertips brushing over yours briefly and he takes a sip. He pulls it away from his lips and smacks them a few times, trying to decide whether or not he likes the taste of the drink.

“Oh wow, almond milk really does taste great,” His eyes sparkle as he brings the cup back up to his lips for another drink.

“Hey! I made that sh*t for myself!” You turn around to grab it but he dodges you. He giggles with the cup still against his lips as he dashes around the kitchen. He sets the cup down as you get too close to him and holds his hands up in surrender.

“I’ll let you have the rest of it if-” He starts.

“Ohh if, huh?” You challenge him.

“If,” he flicks your forehead, “you promise to make me one of those tomorrow morning.”

“Deal,” You promised. He smiles as he ruffles your hair gently, plopping back down on the couch with his water in his hand.

“My mates should be arriving any second now, by the way,” He remarked from his seat. You let out a noise of understanding as you drink your coffee.

As promised, 5 minutes later, there’s a knock at your front door. You suddenly shrink away from it and move to the other side of the kitchen, away from it. Felix eyes you as he walks over to open it. A chorus of greetings erupts from the doorway as his friends greet him. You watch them all file in excitedly and look around.

“This is my roomie I’ve told you guys so much about!” Felix gestures to you excitedly, a wide smile on his face. All 7 of them, you counted, turn their attention to you and say hello with a small bow. You set your cup down and walk over to them, plastering a smile on your face as well.

“Felix always talks about you,” One guy with beach curls approaches you first, offering you a sweet smile. “I’m Bang Chan. You can call me Chan or Christopher; whichever you want,” You note that he has the same accent as Felix.

“Yes, I've heard a fair amount about all of you from ‘Lix as well. I meant to meet you guys earlier, but someone didn’t want to introduce us,” You cross your arms and look pointedly at Felix. He sticks his tongue out at you as he turns to talk to another one of his friends. “It’s nice to meet you, Chan.”

“You’re from America aren’t you?” Chan asks. You nod your head.

“Yeah I moved here to get to know the culture a bit more. I want to hopefully work in the entertainment industry here. But not as an entertainer. Behind the scenes is more of my alley,” You explain. He listens intently.

“That sounds really cool! I hope you do well,” He flashes you a smile. You decide that he has one of the sweetest smiles you’ve ever seen. As you continue to talk to Chan, you start feeling more comfortable around them. Your Korean is not the best but there’s no other way to practice than speaking, you tell yourself.

Felix introduces you to the rest of his friends and all of you are sitting in the living room. You’re sitting in between Jeongin and Han on the couch with Chan further down on your right and Hyunjin laying down next to Han on your left. Felix, Changbin, Minho, and Seungmin are all sitting on the floor around the coffee table. Some ambient music is playing on the T.V from your playlist and you’re all laughing at something Changbin said.

“Felix, your roommate has to hangout with us more often,” Han says, throwing an arm around your shoulder and pulling you into him. You giggle as you place a hand on his thigh to brace yourself. Felix huffs out a laugh as he observes the two of you, his eyes lingering a little too long on your hands.

“We can teach her how to skate!” Changbin pipes up from the floor next to Felix. He laughs at that.

“I’m not sure she’d be up for it,” He gazes over at you, still in Han’s arms.

“I’m always down to learn new things,” You hesitantly say in Korean. Cheers erupt on all sides of you.

“Felix, can we do something on your switch?” Seungmin looks over at him. Felix nods as he stands up to grab it from his room.

“I can see why Felix hasn’t introduced us to her for so long. If I had a roommate like her, I wouldn’t want my friends trying to take her from me,” Minho leaned over to whisper to Changbin who stifled a laugh with his hand. He trailed off into a cough as Chan flashed him a warning look but you were too busy talking to Hyunjin about his dog to realize what was happening.

“Kkami lives with my parents since our dorms don’t allow animals,” He says, showing you a picture of him. You coo at the adorable picture he shows you.

“I used to have two cats but they had to stay behind with my parents,” You smile as you hand him back his phone. Minho’s head pops up.

“Hey, Minho has three cats!” Hyunjin tilts his head into the direction of Minho. You whip your head around to look at him on the floor as he nods to confirm what Hyunjin was saying. You make your way to the floor, kneeling as you beg him for pictures.

Felix walks back in with his switch in one hand, and a bag of controllers in the other. You and Minho are gushing over your cats on the floor as the other guys either listen in or scroll on their phones. Felix now sits down right beside you with a smile as he hands his switch with the bag to his friends. Seungmin thanks him quickly and starts passing out controllers to the other guys who wanted to play. Han, Jeongin, and Hyunjin all get their controllers and Seungmin puts the switch in the charger port to let it project onto the tv. He pads back to the couch and decides to sit with them. Chan scoots over to let him sit next to Jeongin. You turn your attention to the big screen as they argue over who gets to be player one.

“Felix, do you want something to eat or drink?” You whisper to him over the loud arguing. He looks at you for a moment, studying your features. You’re taken aback by his intense staring and you blink a few times, feeling a blush creep up your neck. He breaks eye contact and looks down at the floor in between the two of you.

“Uh… a soda should be good. Any kind,” He brings his eyes back to yours and smiles softly. You continue staring at him, nodding absentmindedly. You snap out of it and get up hurriedly. Felix shifts his position on the floor and rests his back against the couch as he lets out an exhale. He runs a hand through his hair and stares back up at the T.V, happy to see that his friends have decided to play Mario Kart.

The 4 of them were still picking characters when you came back into the living room with Felix’s drink in one hand and a bowl of chips in another. You set down the bowl on the coffee table and hand Felix his soda as you sit back down next to him. He thanks you and cracks it open. He takes a few sips, suddenly very thirsty and sets it back down onto the table. You’re listening in on the discourse happening behind you.

“Hyunjin, you always play Rosalina! This isn’t fair!” You hear Han accuse behind you.

“I always play her because we have the same hair!” He shoots back, showing off his pretty blond hair. Han continues whining about it as Jeongin sweeps in and picks Daisy. Han blows air out through his mouth and settles on pink gold peach. Seungmin picks Shy Guy, of course and off they go.

Racing around Sunshine Airport in the Star cup, some of the guys who aren’t playing join in by yelling out tips to the ones falling behind. Hyunjin is cruising along in 4th place, Han is in 9th, Jeongin in 6th, and Seungmin in 2nd. Changbin is pointing out the things that Han should be doing to win, while Chan is cheering on Hyunjin for not crashing, and Minho is just laughing at Jeongin. You take a moment to appreciate the mood that’s settled around the nine of you and without thinking, you reach forward for Felix’s drink. You hold it up to your lips, watching the T.V for a few more seconds and then tip it into your mouth.

On your left, Felix is watching you out of the corner of his eye. Letting the drink go down your throat, you move the can of soda away from your body and you hold it for a moment. Then, and only then, do you realize your mistake and you turn to Felix only to find him already looking at you. You purse your lips, trying not to laugh.

“I forgot that this was yours,” You look down at your legs, holding the can out to him.

“I guess this is payback for the coffee, huh?” He mused, nudging your leg with his. You huff out a breath at the memory of a few hours ago.

“HYUNJIN YOU CHEATER!” Han stands up and shouts at the T.V which earns him a thump over the head by Chan.

“You’re being too loud,” He warns.

“But he-”

“Just don’t scream,” And with that, Han quiets down. But not by much. He’s pointing at Hyunjin, who is now doubling over with laughter. Hyunjin had sent a red shell at Han right before he crossed the finish line, which put Hyunjin at 3rd and Han fell down to 7th place.

“Maybe we should do something less loud,” You offer the guys. Felix agrees immediately and so do the other boys.

“Not to be juvenile or anything but,” Changbin is the one that starts. “What if we played truth or dare?” Everyone had their own opinions on the game but the majority were up for it.

“Okay, Bin, since you had the idea, you go first!” Minho puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles. Changbin’s shoulders slump at that.

“If that’s how it’s going to be then..” He sniffs, shifting around in his seat. “Minho truth or dare?”

Minho shot him a look that said “you’re really going to do this?” all over it. “Dare,” He smirked.

“I dare you to call the last girl you talked to and tell her you’re pregnant,” Changbin flashed him a big smile. You snorted as the other guys started laughing at Minho. His ears were turning red as he thought about it.

“I last talked to Nayeon…” He confessed. A chorus of “ooh’s” came out of the guys’ mouths, even Felix’s. He smacked Changbin’s shoulder as Bin just held his triumphant smile.

Minho dials Nayeon as everyone struggles to go quiet.

“Oh, hello. Nayeon?” He starts, turning his back to the group. “Yeah sorry for the late call….. I have to tell you something…” There’s a rather long pause. He turns back around to Changbin, as if to ask “do I really have to?” Changbin just nods. Minho turns back around, biting one of his nails. “I just wanted to tell you that… I’m pregnant. Okaythat’sallthankyougoodnight,” he sputtered as he quickly hung up the phone.

Changbin rolls over on the floor, howling with laughter as the other guys soon follow suit. You’re hitting your own knee from the laughter and Felix falls over next to you. Minho’s face is positively pink at the moment as he sits back down.

“We should give Minho a break then. Minho, you ask someone!” Han calls in between gasps. Minho calms himself down and then proceeds to ask another one of them a question.

The game continues as normal; two of them swapped clothes, one called their girlfriend asked her some stupid ass questions, one was dared to go outside and shout, etc. The guys were pretty forgiving when it came to your dares or the questions they’d ask you for truths and you were kind of bored.

“Hey, next time someone asks me anything, please make it more… entertaining, if you will,” You announce, eating a chip.

“More challenging?” Hyunjin offered behind you. You pointed a finger in his direction.

“Absolutely,” You agree.

“Okay then, truth or dare?” Changbin looks you dead in the eyes.

“Dare,” You smiled.

“I dare you to…..” He pretends to be thinking until his eyes land on Felix, who is looking at Changbin, blissfully unaware. “Give Felix a hickey.”

The mood in the room instantly shifts. It’s stifling to be in there. Time doesn’t feel real.

“Pardon?” You ask, assuming you heard wrong. Your eyes are wide and your jaw is open.

“Give Felix a hickey,” He repeats, gesturing to Felix beside you. You hear the guys behind you clear their throats awkwardly, Chan just has his face in his hands, Hyunjin isn’t sure of what to do, and Minho’s ears are going red again. You don’t dare look at Felix.

“If you need to go into another room, then go for it. We just need proof,” He tells you, tracing the outside of his soda can with his finger.

“I…. uh…” You’re at a loss for words. Felix is still beside you. You spare him a glance and you see him totally red, his hand scratching at his neck. He’s also looking anywhere but you.

“Hey, if that’s too challenging, I understand,” Changbin puts his hands up in defeat. And you know he’s only saying that to urge you to do it. You know it very well. Yet, it still affects you.

“I’ll only do it if Felix agrees,” You shrink into yourself, suddenly feeling very warm. All eyes, except yours, flit over to Felix to gauge his reaction. He swallows and pushes his hair back.

“I…” his voice falters slightly. He clears his throat and tries again. “I’ll do it. It’s just a dare, right?” He tries. You don’t look at any of the guys as you muster up all of your courage to stand up. Motioning for Felix to follow you, you go into the hallway. Behind you, the guys are whispering amongst themselves.

“Changbin, what the f*ck,” Chan swears at him.

“Hey, I’m just trying to nudge them in the right direction. I know you all see what I see,” He accuses. None of the guys can fight him on that and so they just find ways to keep themselves occupied.

You decide to pull him into the bathroom and you close the door behind the both of you. You rest against the door for a moment, turning your back to him.

“If you’re uncomfortable doing this, we don’t have to,” He puts a hand on your shoulder comfortingly. You shake your head, turning to face him.

“I don’t have a lot of experience with that kind of thing, that’s all,” You hold your stomach self consciously.

“All the more reason for you to back out if you want,” He responds and you know he’s right. But god dammit if you were going to pass up this opportunity.

“No it’s fine,” You finally raise your head to look at him. His face is tinted a pretty red and he’s tugging his bottom lip between his teeth, looking at you with concern. If only you could hear his thundering heartbeat. Looking at his blushing face, makes you blush even more.

“Lets just,” You breathe in sharply, “get this over with.” He nods, shifting on his feet and uncrossing his arms.

“Do you have a preference for which side?” You awkwardly ask. He shakes his head gently, looking up at the ceiling, trying to calm down the blush on his cheeks.

You swallow as you step even closer to him. You’ve been close to him before, hell you both were cuddling this morning. But this feels so different. It’s intimate. You shouldn’t do this with your roommate. But here you are, stepping in between his legs and reaching up towards his neck. You inhale the smell of his cologne; it’s warm and smells faintly like vanilla but it still smells boy-ish. You breathe softly against his skin and he shivers. He tilts his head to the side to help you and you pull him down a little more. You press your lips softly against his skin to start and you feel, and hear, him swallow. You feel yourself shaking against him, unable to stop it. He takes your hand in his before you could kiss his neck again and whispers against you.

“Just relax. You’re shaking like a leaf. It’s just me,” His words bring you a deep comfort and you squeeze his hand. That gives you the green light to move ahead with your ministries and you press another kiss at the base of his neck, trailing up gently. Once you get to an area you’re satisfied with, you wrap your free hand around the back of his neck for more stability. You feel his pulse; quick and steady against your hand. You press an open mouthed kiss against his skin and feel him shiver again. You give an experimental nibble against the skin and now it’s his turn to squeeze your hand. His left hand twitches at his side. Your shaky breathing against his neck is tickling him more than you know. Once you start sucking gently on his neck, it’s over for him. He lets a small grunt slip and you’re taken aback. You tighten your grip on his neck and continue, sucking and nibbling very softly. You deepen your actions, opening your mouth a little wider and sucking a little harder. His left hand now attaches itself to your waist and he’s pulling you closer, and closer. Your chest is now flush against his and his strong grip hasn’t left your waist. The groans and grunts are just increasing in frequency and you press on.

After a few minutes of the sucking and nibbling, you decide to pull away and look at what you’ve done. It’s not too big but it’s noticeable. You made sure not to make it too dark but the bruise is still there. It’s about the size of a quarter. You pull back, panting softly and you remove your hand from his neck. You wipe away your leftover saliva with the sleeve of your jacket and you feel his hand that was holding yours, migrate to join the other at your waist. You step back from him, placing your hands on his chest and looking up at him.

“I think that’s good,” You softly say. His eyes are half lidded while he looks down at you. They’re hazy and the blush is still prominent on his face. His breathing is matching yours as you both pant softly. He blinks a few times as he removes his hands from your waist and says a soft “sorry about that” and he walks over to the mirror. He places his fingers over the bruise and almost looks like he’s admiring it. You bite your bottom lip nervously.

“Yeah that looks good to me,” He turns back to you, eyeing your lips. He breaks out into a soft smile. He places his hand under your chin and his thumb ghosts your bottom lip. “Your lips are swollen,” He comments. He doesn’t give you a chance to respond before his hand leaves and he straightens himself up in the mirror. He takes your hand in his as he leaves the bathroom and walks over to join his friends in the living room.

The conversation dies down as the two of you come back, now hand in hand. Seven pairs of eyes are burning holes into Felix’s neck.

“It’s on my left side, you vultures,” He grumbles, tilting his neck to let them stare at it. Your burning face is in both of your hands as Felix swipes his fingers over the bruise. “It’s not makeup either.”

“Well done! I think that took a lot of balls for you to do,” Changbin walks over and pats your head before going back to his seat.

“I’m done with this for the night,” You mutter behind your hands, shooting Changbin a glare but it didn’t mean anything.

“Sure. You can sit out now,” He flashes you a genuine smile.

Before you know it, the game is wrapping up and Felix is ushering them out of your guys’ apartment. As you both finish saying your goodbyes, you exchange numbers with Chan, Changbin, and Minho. Felix locks the door and immediately turns to you. He engulfs you in a big hug, one arm around your waist and the other around your neck with his hand resting against your head.

“I’m so sorry for what they put you through tonight,” He says against your head. You smile against his chest.

“Don’t worry about it, Lix. As you said, it was just a dare. No harm, no foul, right?” You shoot him a tired smile as you pull away. He scans your face for any signs of a lie.

“Yeah I guess you’re right,” He sighs and starts walking off towards his room.

“Hey um…,” You reach for him. He stops and turns around. “We’re good, though, right?”

“Of course!” He confirms. He doesn’t risk adding anything to it so he just leaves it at that. “You wanna have another sleepover?” He smiles cheekily. You smile gratefully at him.

“You read my mind,” You smile brightly at him.

“Alright go get your things then, I’m going to be in bed,” He pushes you in the direction of your room. You run off, chuckling.

In the comfort and privacy of your room, you dive into your pillows, screaming into 3 of them to muffle the noise. You’re finally processing the fact that you just gave your best friend and roommate a hickey. It shouldn’t be too big of a deal. But he’s your incredibly attractive best friend and roommate. There’s lots of things wrong with that and you’re walking a really dangerous line right now. You have to pull your head out of the clouds. You’re just friends. It was just a dare and nothing like that is ever going to happen again so you don’t need to worry your pretty little head about it anymore.

You assure yourself all those things as you enter his room with your pillow in your hand. The way you can see the hickey with the shirt he’s wearing right now almost has you sprinting back into your room but you stand your ground.

He smiles at you as he pulls the blankets back beside him. You return the smile and climb into bed with him. He turns over and puts his phone down and turns off the lights. Shuffling noises can be heard coming from the both of you as you get settled. You wanted to let him initiate anything for the night so you wait. And it pays off. Within seconds, he’s shuffling over to you and is wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest. He’s laying on his side so you’re greeted with his hard, defined chest. You sigh softly against his shirt as you wrap an arm around him as well, breathing in his scent for the second time that night. You let your eyes close and you drift off to sleep.

Chapter 3: Moving Forward

Chapter Text

“That’s all for today. Don’t forget about the project that’s due once you get back from break!” Your teacher turns off the projector as the bell goes off and you all leave the class.

It’s been just about 2 weeks since the “incident” with Felix and you things are still kind of awkward between the two of you. You never thought that something like that would have happened. You breathe out heavily as you grab your things and tidy up to leave class. At least you have a week long break now. That should definitely be enough time to let things calm down.

“Wait up!” Your friend calls from behind as you slip out the door. You turn back to wait for him. He jogs up to you and smiles as you both leave class. “Are you almost done with your project?”

“I think so. I just need to do a bit more research but I think I can actually finish it by tonight.” you look at the floor in thought. “Why, what’s up?”

“I wanted to take you out. We’ve both been working hard this semester and I think we deserve a reward,” He slings his arm playfully around your shoulder. You chuckle as you give it some thought.

“Is Byeol okay with it?” You confirm.

“Yeah! I’ll mention it to her and let you know, okay? If not tonight, then tomorrow?” He offers. You nod and smile. He gives you a hug and saunters off to where Byeol was standing.

“Ow, sh*t,” You curse under your breath as you trip into your apartment. You clumsily drop the things in your arms and drop to the floor. You fight back a loud sigh as you bend down to remove your shoes and pick up your things.

It was at that exact moment that Felix decided to step out of the shower and into the hallway with nothing but a towel around his waist. You freeze as you see him and he looks over towards the front door, also freezing. The water drips down his hair and onto his torso and your jaw just drops. Felix was the first to break the staring contest and he does it by sprinting into his room and slamming the door. You fast walk over to the dinner table and set your things down, placing both of your hands over your face and trying to process the sight. You remove your hands and blink blankly at your bag and house keys. You decide to busy yourself with something, anything, before he comes back so you start panic cooking.

You grab a pack of ramen in the cabinets and start boiling the water. As they boil, you chop the veggies up. You hear his door open slowly and hear his quiet footsteps make their way into the kitchen.

“I didn’t hear you come in,” He broke the ice.

“Well you were showering, I don’t blame you,” You respond with your back turned. He lets out a breathy laugh.

“We should maybe…talk,” he confessed. You pause your chopping to see if he continues. “about what's happening between us?”

There it was.

“....Sure,” You resume your chopping but at a much slower pace.

“I’ll wait ‘til you finish your food. I want to have this conversation face to face,” He sits back in his seat. Sometimes you were glad that Felix knew how to communicate healthily and solve stuff in a mature way. This was not one of those times. You just wanted to forget it ever happened and stuff down….whatever it was you felt towards him and keep it strictly platonic. But you oblige and you finish up as quickly as you can.

Setting the bowl across the table from him, you finally look at his eyes. They’re sincere, serious, but still warm and charming.

“I know that ever since this,” he motions to the side of his neck, “we haven’t really been the same. I mean, we kinda stopped the sleepovers so that tells me somethings up,” He claims. You slurp on your noodles quietly. “I want you to be open with me. We’re best friends. I hate that this has been going on between us,” He motions with his hand to the two of you and you can’t help but smile softly. You swallow the last of your noodles for the moment and take a sip of water.

“I guess we can start with the fact that I haven’t really done anything like that with another person?” You offer. He nods to encourage you to keep going. You let out a heavy sigh. “It’s just….awkward…for me, personally… because I always thought that stuff like that happened in relationships. I’ve never really thought of it happening casually?” You move your bowl to the side. You may seem calm on the outside, but on the inside, your heart was racing. You didn’t want to seem like someone so inexperienced when it comes to relationships but you can’t run from the truth. And you knew Felix was going to get it out of you one way or another.

“I guess I was just worried with how you’d react, mainly. And….um….,” You trail off, breaking eye contact.

“You can tell me,” He nods. You look back up at him and inhale sharply.

“I don’t know. I thought that it could’ve ruined whatever dynamic we have because we display affection physically but that, that, was different. Well, at least for me it was,” You feel your face getting hot. He listened intently as he reached over to take a sip of your water. “And..well..yeah, that’s about it.”

He sits up now and folds his hands together. “I’m glad you told me. Between the two of us, I know that I have more experience in that department so I totally see where you’re coming from. But because I do have that experience, I can tell you now that what we did won’t affect our friendship. We’ll move past it, I know we will. It just might be a little awkward at first,” He finishes with his signature smile and you feel more relaxed. With his words, you make the conscious decision, here and now, that you will never do anything with the attraction you feel towards him.

“That makes me feel a lot better,” You smile back. He chuckles.

“Yeah, I know. I could tell that you relaxed almost instantly,” He teased. “I’m glad we had this talk, though. I think it’ll help us in the future.” You hummed in agreement.

“This was refreshing, Lix, I really needed it. But, unfortunately, I have to go finish up a research project now,” You smile sadly.

“Aw I was about to ask if you wanted to watch a movie or play a game,” He pouted. You reach over the table to ruffle his hair.

“Maybe tomorrow! After all, we are on break starting today,” You smirk. He raises his eyebrows pointedly.

“I’ll wipe the floor with your ass in Smash Bros,” He smiles proudly as you walk off.

“Hah! I’d like to see you try,” You throw over your shoulder as you close the door to your room. You laugh quietly as you turn on your PC to finish your project.

Hours pass before you’re shutting off your PC. You stare at the black screen of your monitor before snapping out of it and checking your phone. Your friend sent you a message 20 minutes ago.

Haneul: Byeol is cool with it! Pick you up at 7?

You: Sounds great! Where are we going?

Haneul: typing…

Haneul: Wanna get drinks?

You weigh out the pros and cons of going out to get drinks right now. You don’t really want to but you really do want to let loose. Oh what the hell.

You: I’m in! I’ll be ready soon!

And with that, you zoom into the shower. You exit the shower not even 20 minutes later and you’re picking out a dress to wear. Something comfortable, but attractive. A simple dark purple dress works for you. Paired with black heels, you felt awesome. You have just enough time to fix your hair and re-do your makeup before Haneul texts you saying he’s in front of your apartment building. You grab your bag and start towards the front door with your heels in hand.

“Where are you going?” Felix asks from the couch as he pauses the movie.

“I’m just grabbing drinks with a friend of mine. I’ll text you my location when I get there,” You smile as you put on your heels. He nods absentmindedly, his eyes scanning over your figure.

“Have fun and be safe!” He calls with a small smile. You thank him and you’re out the door.

“Byeol it’s great to see you again!” You exclaim, sliding into the backseat. She smiles back at you and reaches back to squeeze your hand.

“You too! I’m sorry if I’m intruding. Haneul said I could go,” She sheepishly smiled. You shook your head, grinning.

“Of course not! I think it’ll be more fun with you here,” You send her a playful wink. She giggles and you click your seatbelt in.

Getting into the club, you always forget just how loud they are. The bass is reverberating off of every surface, everyone is dancing and singing along to the song that’s playing.

“Let’s go get some drinks!” Byeol takes you by the hand and leads you to the bar. By the way she was acting, you could already tell she wanted to get hammered. You hoped that Haneul wouldn’t drink but he was already downing a shot of tequila. You suddenly regretted accepting the invite.

Within the next two hours, you were talked into taking a few shots and having a few drinks. You were drunkenly dancing with Byeol and Haneul. Something in your head was going off and above all the loud music and noise, you were able to hear yourself think, but just barely. You excuse yourself from the two of them and stumbled to an empty table. Pulling out your phone, you send Felix a text.

You: I dnot fel good. Can u pic mer up?

Lix: I’m omw.

You giggle at his fast response and you close your eyes for a moment, suddenly feeling the room spin. The music still boomed loudly and echoed in your ear. The vibrations carried themselves from the soles of your feet throughout your body and you drunkenly whined to no one.

After what felt like 2 minutes, you feel someone slide into the table beside you and you crack your eyes open. A familiar blob of dark hair in a beanie comes into your line of sight and you gasp dramatically.

“Lixie! I’m so glad you got my text,” You slur as you throw your arms around him. He pats your head gently as he slides his right arm under your left armpit and around your right shoulder.

“I would never not respond to your text,” He said softly, dragging you out of the booth. You whined in protest. The both of you stumbled to his car and you giggled to yourself in the front seat. He squatted down to unbuckle your heels and you pet his head gently.

“You have such nice hair, Lix,” You giggle. He shakes his head, smiling. “And you have a nice body but, shh, don’t tell you I said that.” His fingers stop as you say that and he looks up at you, only to find you already staring at him with half-lidded eyes.

“You’re just drunk,” He whispers, unbuckling your left heel and slipping it off. He stands back up.

“I may be drunk but you do have a nice body,” You slur, whispering softly. He stares at you in disbelief. You reach forward towards his neck and pull him close. He puts his left hand against the car seat headrest and his right braces against the middle console. He can smell the alcohol on your lips but he can’t help but stare at them. He snaps out of it and pulls himself back.

“No, we just had a talk about this. You can’t do this to me,” He takes your hands in his and puts them in your lap. You hum softly and your head falls back against the headrest. You’re out cold. He scoffs as he closes the car door. He smiles to himself as he rounds the car to the driver's seat.

“I thought this would’ve been easier. What are you doing to me?”

Chapter 4: "I know what you're doing"

Chapter Text

You don’t remember how you got home but apparently you did. You were safe and sound in Felix’s bed. You sit up sharply, suddenly feeling the absence of your dress. Your safety shorts were still on, okay great, but you’re wearing an oversized shirt in place of your dress. But your bra was still on. Blinking a few times to wake yourself up fully, you look around to assess your surroundings. Felix was nowhere to be found and his side of the bed was also messy. You reach for your phone and see at least 30+ messages and missed calls from your friends. The latest one read:

Haneul: I got a text from your roommate saying that he picked you up. Send me a text when you wake up to let me know you woke up safely!

You smile at the message. Even while drunk Haneul can make sure you’re safe and send a coherent text message. You quickly send him a message back, letting him know that you were okay and Felix did in fact take you home. You set your phone down and tear the blankets away from your legs. You were happy to see your heels at the side of the bed and you creep slowly towards the door. Opening it just a crack, you look around the apartment. It’s all very still. Rubbing at your head as your hangover headache kicks in, you trudge towards the kitchen. Only to be startled by Felix, who was making your coffee. You blink surprisingly at him. How the hell could you not hear him? That was a question you’ll never get answered.

“Feeling better?” He smiles at you as you walk in. You groan loudly in response and slump into the chair at the table. “Yeah you were pretty hammered when I picked you up yesterday.”

“Felix, I didn’t cause you any trouble, did I?” You gasp as you sit up. He sets down your drink in front of you and it’s his turn to ruffle your messy hair.

“No, of course not. You’re just a giggly drunk. You laughed at almost everything I said,” He recalls as he sat across from you. He decided that he wouldn’t share with you what you told him. He thought it wasn’t the time.

You sigh in relief and take a few sips of your coffee, letting out a soft moan of pleasure. His hand twitches softly as he picks up his own drink and hands you some headache medicine. You take it from his hand and grab a water bottle from the fridge, downing the medicine with a large swig of water.

“How was it last night, though?” Felix quips.

“Well, from the things that I can remember, I’d say it was fun! It was a much needed night out. I feel like my brain shriveled up and died from the amount of research I’ve been doing lately,” You complain. He chuckles as he sets down his drink.

“Yeah you have been cooped up in your room longer than normal these days,” He comments.

“But I’m all done now. I have the entire week to just chill out and do whatever I want,” You close your eyes contentedly.

“Speaking of that, my friends want to see you again! You could come skating with us, if you’d like,” He pulls out his phone. A smile dawns on your face.

“Aw, dude, I’d love to! One issue: I can’t skate,” Your shoulders slump. Felix downs the rest of his drink and wipes his mouth.

“I’ll teach you!”

And that’s how you found yourself at a rollerskating rink with 7 other guys who skate really well.

“Lix, I don’t know about this,” You tug on his sleeve and whisper to him in English. He smiles at you and grabs the hand that’s on his sleeve.

“Hang on to me. I won’t let you fall,” He promises, pulling you towards the rink. His friends were chattering beside the both of you as they laced their skates. Majority of them were wearing in-line skates; with the exception being Lee Know and Seungmin. Felix had convinced you to buy in-line skates a few months ago under the promise that he’d teach you and now the time has come. Although you felt as unsteady as a newborn deer as he drags you, you were only skating on the carpet and it was already hard. You couldn’t imagine skating on wood.

“FelixFelixFelixFelix,” You chant his name as you make your way onto the rink. He giggles as you grip onto his arm for dear life. He moves your hand down to lace it with his and for a moment you stop panicking. You move your right hand to grip the..well you wouldn’t call it railing but you could hold onto it either way. Felix lets go of you for a moment and before you could open your mouth to protest, he positioned himself in front of you and held both hands out. You give him your left hand and hesitate to remove your right hand from its safe spot.

“I got you,” He stares into your eyes as he reaches for your hand and pulls it into his. He squeezes them reassuringly as he starts skating backwards and pulling you along with him. The rink was kind of busy but there weren’t that many people around you. You gripped Felix’s hands so hard, you were sure you cut off his circulation. And it only worsened whenever you teetered too much to one side or the other.

As the songs played in the background and Felix gave you instruction on how to move your feet, you did find that it got easier. It felt similar to ice skating but you had more control over where your feet went, which you appreciated. Every so often, one of his friends would slow down their pace to the both of you for a few minutes before taking off and chasing the others.

“Lix, if you wanna go after them, you can. I think I’ll be fine on my own now,” You loosen your grip to prove your point but he squeezes firmly.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to leave you by yourself,” He looks concerned. Changbin comes to your rescue though. He stops by the two of you and asks what’s up. You fill him in briefly on what you and Felix just talked about and he slings an arm loosely over your shoulders, causing you to get off balance for a moment. Felix pulls you in closer after that.

“I got her, Felix. I won’t let her fall,” Changbin smiled at him and skated backwards with Felix for a moment. Felix looks in between both of you and then transfers your hands into Changbin’s.

“If you let her fall, I’m going to take your pig plushie for a month,” Felix promises as he turns around and starts skating away. Changbin’s mouth drops and he turns back to you.

“Well now I really can’t let you fall,” He grumbles.

“It seems like you were planning on letting that happen,” You raise your eyebrows skeptically. He shrugs, sending you a small smirk as he starts skating backwards like Felix did previously.

The two of you skate quietly as you crane your head to look for Felix. Felix was messing around with Hyunjin and Chris across the rink from you. It looks like they were doing some tricks. Felix was always so graceful on skates but you’ve never appreciated it until now.

“He’s pretty, isn’t he?” Changbin’s voice brings you out of your world. You stare at him for a moment.

“Pardon?”

“I said he’s pretty good, isn’t he?” He motions towards Felix. You look back towards him.

“Yeah. He skates so well,” You absentmindedly say. You turn back to Changbin and he shoots you an innocent smile.

“You wanna pick up the pace?” He offers. You look down at your feet, feeling them become more steady than before and nod. He tugs at your hands a little stronger than before and you’re speeding up, weaving in between the other skaters.

“Wait, wait, Changbin, this is too fast!” You feel your knees start to buckle as you try to maintain your balance. He stops pumping his skates for a moment and before you know it, Felix is skating up beside the both of you, his hand ghosting the small of your back.

“I can take over from here,” He says firmly. Changbin locks eyes with Felix and he lets go of your hands.

“Hey, she was okay with it!” He puts his hands up defensively as he starts skating away. Your hands are out by your sides as you try to steady yourself without someone holding your hands. Your knees are caving inwards and your feet are also pointing in. Felix finally looks down at you and rushes in front of you. He puts his hands on your forearms and helps you up, all while maintaining a nice speed.

“You don’t have to worry about me, Felix. Really, I was okay with it,” You chuckle as you bring your eyes up to his. He’s looking over to his left to make sure he isn’t going to bump into anyone. You open your mouth to repeat yourself but Felix turns his head back to face you and his eyes widen suddenly. You feel a force hit your back and you completely lose your balance, falling forward. Felix has lightning fast reflexes, apparently, because he already has his arm around your waist as you crash into his chest and send the both of you to the floor. Another bump on the floor is heard behind you as someone else fell.

You giggle into Felix’s chest as you start sitting up. His hand on your waist makes its way back to your hand and he also sits up. You put a hand over your mouth as you try to contain your laugh and he can’t help but let out a small laugh as well.

“Are you guys okay? I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going,” Hyunjin’s voice comes from behind you where he was sitting. He was the one who also fell.

“I’m fine. Felix might’ve hit his head though,” You smile as one of the employees skate over to make sure the three of you are okay. Felix rubs at the back of his head gently.

“I did but it wasn’t bad. It would’ve been if I hadn’t seen Hyunjin coming,” He laughed. The three of you chuckle and then you realize what position you’re in. Your legs are swung over Felix’s lap and your hand is pressing down on his stomach. The problem is, you don’t think you’re going to be able to get up without help. You remove your hand from Felix’s abdomen and place it on the floor behind you as you move your legs off of him as well. Hyunjin is behind you dusting himself off as the people around you skate away and the rest of your group make their way over to see if anyone’s hurt. Felix manages to get up quite quickly and he offers you assistance.

“Holy sh*t, that looked kinda bad. How are none of you hurt?” Chris looks over the three of you with worried eyes. The three of you shrugged, not having an answer.

“Do you still want to keep skating?” Felix turns to you. You smile and nod, grabbing his hand in yours. You tug him along, losing your balance almost immediately and he just steadies you.

“If you fall again, please don’t drag me with you,” He says. You stick your tongue out at him. This time, the two of you skate side by side. Your hands are interlocked and Felix pulls you to the side whenever he feels you jolt. As you skate, you try and think about other times where you and Felix have held hands and it dawned on you that all the other times couldn’t compare to this one. But it’s fine! Friends hold hands all the time. You do it with your girl friends and so this is no different.

“You’re getting the hang of it now!” He encourages, shaking your locked hands excitedly.

“I still feel a bit unstable, though,” You admit.

“It’s normal. No one knows what they’re doing the first time.” He assures. “I think it’s time to leave, though. All the other guys are getting off.”

You turn to look at the exit of the rink and sure enough, all of them are gliding off.

“Sure, I mean we’ve been skating for about 2 hours now. My feet are kinda killing me, now that I think about it,” You respond. He nods and he picks up the pace slightly. Your fingers are gently laced together as he drags you behind him. He stops at the exit to help you step off. He offers his hand and you transfer yourself from wood to carpet.

“Honestly, you can just walk normally on carpet,” He hops off and shows you. You follow him, still feeling like a toddler learning to walk. Once you get to the benches with your stuff, he helps you sit down and he plops down next to you.

“What’d you think of your first time skating?” Seungmin asks from across from you. You glance up at him as you unlace your skates.

“It’s really tiring but it’s also fun! It feels almost freeing, in a way,” You tell him.

“We’re all happy you tried it, though. Some people are afraid of getting hurt so they never do it,” Jeongin piped up from his seat.

“Oh, no, I like experiencing new things! I’d love to do this again sometime,” You smile at both of them. You feel Felix shift beside you and he stands up with his stuff in his hand.

“We’d love to have you!” Minho slings an arm around Felix’s shoulder and Felix wraps an arm around him as well.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m hungry as hell. We should go eat,” Changbin trots up to your little group.

“Yeah I could eat,” Hyunjin joins in.

“Should we go home and shower then? I feel really sticky,” Han complains.

“Sure, let's do that. We can meet up at that center to eat at like seven or so,” Felix offered. The others murmured an agreement and you all set off to your cars.

“My feet are killing me,” You announce as you dive onto the couch.

“Take an ice bath or something,” Felix chimes in from the kitchen, holding a granola bar. You wrinkle your nose.

“I prefer something warm and inviting,” You remark.

“Then just dunk your feet into a bowl with ice water,” He smiles. You groan dramatically as you lift yourself off of the couch. You waltz into the kitchen and stare at the table for a good 30 seconds. Felix just leans against the sink and observes you. You open your mouth to say something and point your finger up towards the ceiling.You then promptly shut your mouth, spin around, and walk into your room. Felix just munches away on his granola bar, thoroughly confused. He hears the door to your room open again and your arms are full of your clothes and you march into the bathroom.

“Don’t take too long in there! I need to shower as well,” He says as he knocks on the door.

“Aw, Lix, you could always join me,” You chortle from the other side. He presses his lips into a line as he fights a blush.

“Yeah? And if I take you up on that offer?” He countered with a smirk you couldn’t see. He hears your footsteps stop and now he’s wondering if you’re actually serious. He swallows.

“I’m only joking,” He taps on the door with a laugh. He hears your giggle from the other side and he’s relieved.

“I know you are,” You respond. Your voice sounds much closer to the door than before.

“Alright. Still, don’t take too long,” He insisted before leaving. He lets out a long sigh when he shuts the door into his room and he swallows again. He runs a hand over his face, suddenly feeling very warm. What he doesn’t know is that you’re equally as nervous as him.

You’re pacing nervously in the bathroom, recalling the moments that just happened, wondering if he was actually serious, wondering if you were actually serious, what would’ve happened if he actually did come in, and other things. Your hands were on the sides of your cheeks as you did a breathing exercise to calm down. It seems like whenever anything happens between the two of you, it’s in this bathroom. And it’s freaking you out just a little. But you still had to shower and so you decide to just shove those feelings down again and shower peacefully.

After a good 20 minutes of marinating in the shower, you decide to hop out; you’ve been in there long enough avoiding Felix and he needs the shower anyways. You dry yourself off hurriedly and change. A rough brush through your hair and you’re grabbing some things for makeup and facing the door. With a deep exhale, you crack open the door and walk into your room. Upon closing the door, you hear Felix’s open and then the sound of the bathroom door closing. You’ve successfully avoided him. Tuning out the sound of the shower, and your thoughts, you turn on some music. You’re in the zone as you pick out your outfit; it’s warm outside, taylor swift is on blast, and you feel amazing. That stunning dress you bought the other day would be perfect for tonight; not too dressy but still nice. You pull on some black tights and then you’re slipping on your docs as well. You admire your outfit in the mirror and smile.

“We should leave in about 30 minutes. Are you almost done?” Felix’s voice drags you out of your thoughts. You thought for a moment he had come in but he was just outside of your door.

“Yeah I just need to do my hair and makeup. I’ll be quick,” You promise, checking the time on your phone and then throwing it into your tote bag. You hear his footsteps retreat into the living room and you book it into the bathroom. You remove the clip in your hair and fluff it out with your hands. You brush it out and observe it for a moment before you decide to leave it down. You finish up your makeup look and look at yourself once more before moving away from the mirror. One last deep breath and you’re forcing yourself out of the bathroom and into your room to pick up your bag. You walk out into the living room where Felix was waiting and you nervously stand. You were nervous for a number of reasons; primarily, you haven’t really worn this style in front of him and you were nervous to see how he reacted to it, and the exchange the two of you had before your shower. You clear your throat to catch his attention.

“Let’s go?” You offer. He looks up from his phone and you don’t miss the double take. He stands up and looks at you, smiling brightly.

“You look so good! Is that a new dress?” He looks you up and down with wonder. You feel hot under his gaze but you give him a smile.

“Yeah, I bought it a few months ago. I thought it was warm enough to wear it today,” You fold your hands in front of your body. Felix looks at your outfit for a little longer. You move your eyes to your shoes, unsure of what to do. You miss Felix gulping, again, and the way his eyes linger on your neck and shoulders. He snaps himself out of it and offers you his hand, plastering a sweet smile on his face. You look up at him and down at his hand and hesitantly place yours in his. He laces your fingers together and you feel like you can’t breathe. No, no, no, no. You’re just friends. Friends do this all the time. Your girl friends don't make you feel nervous when they take your hand.

You let Felix lead you to the car and you released his hand to go to your door. He looked over at you for a moment before bouncing over to the driver’s seat. You never knew you had a thing for guys when they drive but Felix turning around and putting his hand behind your headrest awakened something in you. You were going to keep that image stuffed away for the time being. The rest of the drive down to the center was mainly silent, except for the songs playing from your playlist and Felix singing along softly.

You were the first to arrive at the meeting place and the two of you just sat down. You bite at your lips anxiously. Your leg starts bouncing up and down. Felix turns to look at you and places a hand over the leg that’s bouncing and you look at him.

“You okay?” He asks.

“Yeah, ‘m just a little anxious,” You nervously laugh.

“Why?” He inquires.

“I’m not exactly sure. I think it’s my outfit; I’m worried I look weird,” You confess. His face softens.

“Trust me, you look gorgeous. You always do when you dress like that,” He professes. Your leg calms down slightly and you smile. “C’mere,” He wraps an arm around your waist and scoots in closer to you. He’s always warm and inviting and perhaps it was because more of your skin was showing, but today he was extra warm. You rest your head on his shoulder as you snuggle in.

“What’s up, lovebirds?” Han’s voice zaps the both of you out of whatever wonderland you were in and you immediately move away from Felix. He traces you with his eyes as you stand up to greet his friends. He follows suit, giving Hyunjin a hug and saying hi.

“Aw you look so pretty!” Jeongin was gawking at you in a child-like way. You felt that blush rise up again as you wave a hand in front of your face and say “thank you,” which catches everyone else’s attention and now you have 7 pairs of eyes on you, showering you with compliments. You felt really spoiled in that moment and you couldn’t fight the blush any longer. Your face was positively red and you couldn’t look any of them in the eye.

“Let’s figure out where to eat,” Felix’s voice chimes in, luckily, and each boy removes their focus from you and discusses where they would like to eat. You finally are able to breathe normally. You don’t pay attention to what they’re saying until Seungmin says your name.

“Do you have a preference for what we eat?” He looks over at you. You shake your head gingerly.

“I’m not a picky eater,” You say with a chuckle.

“I’m telling you, we should get Japanese curry! There’s a really good place over there!” Hyunjin points to the stores on his left.

“Ooh I’d be down for curry,” You chime in. Hyunjin gives you a high five and puts his arm around your shoulders.

“See? Now, we have to get curry,” He triumphantly says. You can’t help but giggle in his arms. The others start agreeing one by one and you set off towards the restaurant. You squirm a little in Hyunjin’s arms and he removes it from your shoulders.

“Not big on skinship?” He asks with a smile.

“Oh no, it’s just awkward to walk with your arm around my shoulder like that,” You smile. He makes a noise of understanding and instead takes your hand with this.

“Is this better?” He confirms. You nod happily and swing your arms back and forth. See? Holding Hyunjin’s hand doesn’t make your stomach feel fluttery. Everything’s fine.

Everything was not, in fact, fine. Felix could’ve drilled holes into your hands with how hard he was staring.

“Felix?” Minho called his name. He looks over to him and blinks, almost like he’s dazed.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” He apologizes quickly, returning his gaze to look at you and Hyunjin. Minho follows his gaze and suppresses a smirk.

“Oh I just said ‘wouldn’t they make a cute couple?’” He provokes. He watches Felix’s face change from irritated to furious, with only minor changes to his outside appearance. But by the way Felix breathed out, Minho could tell he pissed him off.

“No I don’t think Hyunjin is her type,” He scoffs.

“I dunno dude. He looks like he’s enjoying her company,” He trails his gaze to the two of you talking and laughing. Felix composes himself and clears his throat. He leans over to Minho’s ear.

“I know what you’re doing,” He whispers and pulls away quickly, picking up his pace to join the group. Minho just smirks after him.

Felix arrives on your right side and flashes you a smile. You smile at him as you look down and playfully grab his hand with a smack. Now, you’re holding his and Hyunjin’s hands.

Arriving at the restaurant, it’s bigger than you thought. You thought it would’ve just had curry, but no, when you looked at the menu, there was a plethora of Japanese items. You were suddenly glad you wore the dress, otherwise you were sure you’d feel underdressed. A waiter comes and cheerfully leads you to your table. You sit in between Minho and Hyunjin with Felix across from you and the rest of the guys filling in the seats around you. Everyone looks at the menu and they start asking if anyone wants to split with them.

“Lix, how do you feel about splitting the chicken katsu curry with me?” You look up from your menu. He locates the item on the menu and looks back at you.

“Yeah it looks good to me!” He smiles and puts down the menu. The rest of them figure out what they want and before you know it, the waiter is coming back and retrieving your menus. You’re engaged in a conversation about your major with Chris, Seungmin, and Han when you feel Minho put his arm around your shoulder. You don’t think much of it since you know the rest of them are often touchy with one another. Changbin and Han share a look across the table which you happen to miss.

The waitress returns with your food and you feel Minho pull his arm away after you straighten yourself up. You turn your attention to Felix excitedly as she places your meal in front of you both and you pick up your chopsticks. The conversations around you die down as everyone starts splitting up their plates and digging in. You transfer some of the food onto another plate to leave Felix with the main plate like you always do. You both start eating away at your meal excitedly.

The meal continues with some idle talk from some of the guys, but, honestly you were too hungry to jump into any of them.

“Are you guys down for some dessert after this?” Chan wipes his mouth with a napkin and sets his chopsticks down on the empty plate. Everyone has no objections. He nods and reaches to get his card to pay before Seungmin taps his bicep and intercepts with his card. Chris shakes his head and pushes his hand away gently. Seungmin goes back in with his card. The two continue politely bickering over who was going to pay for a few minutes. In that time frame, you feel Minho’s arm return to its previous position. You look over across the table to Felix; you feel like he’s barely talked all night. The sight that greeted you wasn’t one you were accustomed to. Felix sat, tight-lipped and tense, as he was looking at you. Once he sees you look at him, that sight is gone in a second and he flashes you a smile; one that you know is fake.

“You okay?” You mouth in English.

“Tired,” He mouths back, looking down at his empty plate. You think for a moment and then tap on his shin with your foot below the table. He glances up at you again. You motion with your eyes towards the exit and jerk your head slightly in its direction. He thinks about it for a moment before nodding and getting ready to stand up.

“Chan, I think we’re actually going to go back home,” Felix quips as he stands up. You hurriedly follow him, letting Minho’s arm fall off your shoulders.

“Is everything okay?” Chan asks in english. The other members look between the three of you cluelessly. Felix makes his way to Chan’s seat and leans down towards him.

“I’ll tell you about it later,” He says. Standing back up, he waits for you to join him at the front of the table and you both say your goodbye’s. Without waiting, he interlocks your fingers again and you’re being pulled towards the exit.

“Woah, Felix, slow down!” You jog slightly to keep up with him. He slows his pace for you to catch your breath. He looks at you for a moment, an indecipherable look in his usually bright eyes. “What’s going on? Do you not feel well?” You pant softly and look up at him worriedly. For whatever reason, his guard is let down almost entirely and a blush comes up onto his face. You reach up and place a hand on his forehead, pushing his bangs back.

“You feel a little warm. I can drive if you want,” You reach for the keys in his opposite hand. He doesn’t allow himself to speak, so instead he nods. God, whatever effect Minho wanted to have happened to him, happened. He swallows as you take his hand again and he notices your shoulders tense. They always tense when you’re cold. He removes the flannel he had over his hoodie and drapes it around your shoulders. You feel the warmth and then you smell him. All of him. Just flooding your senses all at once. You look up at him but you can’t see his face; it’s looking to the side. The only thing you can see are his reddened ears. The only thing on your mind is “Oh gosh, he has a fever,” and nothing else.

You were now the one pulling Felix towards the car at a quick pace and you let him get situated in the passenger seat. You take off the flannel he had given you a few minutes ago and you give it to him.

“If you’re sick, I don’t want you to be cold. You’ll need that more than me,” You say firmly. He opened his mouth to protest but bit back any words he was going to say. He accepted the flannel and just draped it across his lap. He shifted his hips in the seat to allow himself to lean back a little and he looked out of the window on his side. You look at him worriedly as you start to leave the parking lot.

What you don’t know is that Felix isn’t actually sick. He’s dealing with another, rather large, issue. He was actually thanking the heavens when you returned the flannel to him and offered to drive. He would not have been able to drive in the condition he was in. He was desperately trying to get it under control in the 15 minute drive back to your guys’ apartment but unfortunately, it wasn’t the case.

When you pulled into Felix’s designated parking spot, he quickly tied the flannel around his waist and opened his door quickly. You looked over at him in confusion as he leapt out of the car. You also got out of the car and grabbed your things. Felix was in the corner adjusting his hoodie over his hips.

“I’m gonna go on ahead, okay?” He quickly says before taking off in almost a sprint. You stare at him, absolutely dumbfounded. Walking towards the apartment building, you start thinking about his behaviors. In the elevator, you come to the realization that he isn’t sick; he’s dealing with that kind of issue. Your face erupts into a blush and you crouch in the elevator as you suddenly feel very dizzy. The elevator door opens and you steady yourself before getting out. You walk very slowly to your apartment door and you wait outside of it for a few minutes, just thinking. It’s normal for boys to feel like this, and it was kind of nice of him to not alert you to it. But why is he feeling like that so suddenly? The more you thought about it, the more you couldn’t answer your own questions.

You decide to say “f*ck it,” and throw open the door to the apartment. You wait and listen for any suspicious sounds. The only suspicious sound you hear is coming from the shower. You find it weird since he showered before you guys left but then you remember his, ahem, issue. You tiptoe past it, trying not to alert him you were right outside of the door. And maybe you were too quiet, maybe that was the reason, but he had no reason to let out a stifled moan as you stepped in front of the door. You start sweating immediately as you freeze. You feel your stomach drop, but in the pleasant way it does when you’re on a rollercoaster. Your gaze feels like it’s burning holes into the bathroom door. After you hear another noise coming from his lips, you come to your sense that you definitely should not listen to this and you throw yourself into your room. You gulp as you shakily put on headphones and start blasting music through them to drown out the noise.

God, what was he doing to you?

Chapter 5: Chris steps up

Chapter Text

Felix slipped his shoes off as quickly as he could near the doorway as he slammed the front door shut. He was panting as he scrambled into his room. He grabbed the first pair of pants, a shirt, and underwear he saw and dashed into the bathroom. He figured he could deal with his issue before you walked into the apartment.

He threw his clothes onto the counter as he glanced at himself in the mirror; his cheeks were flushed red and he could see his dilated pupils. He tore his gaze away, the shame creeping up his neck. But he only felt hotter as it did. He turned on the water in the shower and let it warm up as he undressed himself. He threw his beanie onto the counter before he untied his flannel from his waist. He then removed his hoodie and shirt together and placed them on the counter as well. Steam was escaping into the room at this point which only added to his elevated arousal. The warmth in the pit of his stomach wasn’t going away on its own, he was sure of that. He unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans and shimmied out of them. He suppressed a groan as his jeans passed his crotch and breathed out once he had gotten out of them. He slipped off his boxers and let them join his pile of clothes on the counter as he stepped into the shower.

The hot water greeted his flushed skin and he enjoyed the sting for a moment. He shook out his hair and extra droplets of water splashed onto the sides of the shower. He leaned against the wall and he finally looked down towards his body. His adam's apple bopped as he wrapped a hand around his rock-hard dick. A shiver ran through his body as he moved his hand up and down the shaft of it. He continued the movements, digging his teeth into his bottom lip to suppress any extra noises. The water coming out of the showerhead drowned them out, he thought. He failed to hear the front door open and close and he was so, so close to the point he wanted to be that he just kept going. His hand sped up; his tip was leaking at this point. His grip tightened as his breathing picked up its pace and he couldn’t help himself. He let out a low groan as he felt the coil start forming in his stomach. He let his head hit the wall behind him as that coil snapped and his dick jumped in his hand, spurting his load onto the glass shower door. He let out a string of broken moans, punctuated by a deep sigh. He stood there for a moment, blinking back to reality.

Coming back to his senses, Felix cleans off the shower door and washes his hands. He adjusts the temperature of the water to cold because he feels like he needs to cool off any lingering feelings. He runs his hands through his hair in an exasperated manner as he thinks about tonight and why he allowed himself to get to this point. As he mulled it over, he’s hit with a mortifying realization; he heard the door to your room slam shut moments before he came.

“Oh f*cking Christ,” He whispered to himself as he covers his now flushed face with his hands.

You were able to tune out Felix successfully with your headphones and you briefly forgot about what was happening next door to you. After a few minutes, you actually forgot why you were listening to music so loudly so you decided to take off your headphones. You hear the shower running and then it suddenly stops and then you remember why you were listening to music so loudly. You feel a blush rest on your cheeks immediately and you swallow nervously. Deciding you shouldn’t just sit in your room listening to your roommate get dressed, you rush into the kitchen to make yourself some emergency food. No way in hell would you let Felix know you heard him getting off in the shower.

You opt for some pasta with alfredo sauce for the comfort food of the night and you let the water start boiling in a large pot as you start on the sauce. You hear the bathroom door unlock and you turn around to greet Felix as you always do. But, of course, something was different this time. You force yourself to not look away and pray to the Gods that your cheeks weren’t red.

Felix walks out of the bathroom with a towel on top of his head and he’s rubbing at it. Makes you wonder if that’s how he strokes his-

Your eyes widen as the thought flies through your brain and you have less than half a second to think about something else before he looks at you.

“Hey,” your voice cracks immediately, “uh.. Hey. Why’d you shower again?” You start. And then you mentally slap yourself because you know goddamn well why he was showering. You watch him cough quickly.

“I just felt very sweaty in the restaurant and wanted to freshen up,” He lies. You know he’s lying. You know that he probably knows that you know he’s lying. But you try not to let him know. You hum in understanding as you turn back to face the sauce. Behind your back, you miss Felix’s very relieved expression.

“Are you still hungry? We only just skipped dessert,” Felix asks.

“Yeah. I think I’m just craving pasta,” You muse softly. He hums softly and moves closer to you.

“Do you need any help?” He peers over your shoulder. Your hands falter as you feel his warm body behind you and you end up dropping the salt you were grabbing from the cabinet above you. Felix’s hand dashes in front of you and he grabs it before it spills. He glances down at you as his hand retreats. You can’t help it; your breath picks up and you can feel the blush return to your cheeks. He does a double take and he gulps. He knows you know. He’d rather die than talk about this though. This is one of lines neither of you have crossed with each other and for a good reason; you’re roommates. It’s way too personal to talk about things like that with your roommate.

“Ah, thanks, Lix. No, I don’t think I need any help,” You force yourself to look at his eyes and smile. You reached for the salt in his hand and he awkwardly smiled back. He suddenly started patting himself down.

“Sorry, one of my mates is calling me. I’ll be right back!” He tells you, bolting out of the front door. You stare at the front door for a few moments before turning back to the pasta on the stove.

Outside of the apartment, Felix was fumbling around while looking for his phone. He quickly called Chan and ran a hand through his hair. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was coming to an icky realization.

“Felix? I was about to text you! What’s up, man?” Chan’s concerned voice comes through the speaker of the phone.

“Yeah so I’m in a bit of a predicament,” He starts, hanging his head over the edge of the railing.

“Yeah?” Chan encourages.

“I think…. She's too attractive,” He says with an exasperated sigh.

“And that’s an issue because….?” Chan waits for him to continue. Felix lets out a big sigh.

“I’m feeling things towards her. Things roommates and best friends aren’t supposed to feel for one another,” He confesses hurriedly.

“Ah. And that’s why you guys left early?” Chan claims. The sigh that leaves Felix’s body is confirmation enough for him. Chan lets out a soft chuckle.

“And I…. I guess I’m calling because I don’t know what to do. Chan, I don’t want to ruin things between us,” Felix mumbles.

“Lix, I would advise to just probably not do anything right now. You just came to terms with how you feel and if you rush into anything, it’ll be bad for both you and her,” Chan advises. Felix listens quietly, taking in the information.

“Give it a few days. Maybe even a few weeks? If you’re really worried this might ruin your friendship with her, then don’t act on your feelings at all. However, if you want to take a shot at it, just ease into it, alright?” Chan concludes. Felix thinks about it for a moment.

“Okay. I think I know what I’m going to do then. Thanks, Chan,” Felix is super relieved as he hangs up the phone. He looks at the sky for a moment with a small smile before turning around to head inside.

You finished up the pasta and you prepared the table for you and Felix, in case he wanted to join you. You looked at the front door, debating on going to get him or letting him come in on his own. You decide to head over and at least let him know the food is ready. As you reach for the door to open it, it swings open and Felix is clambering inside. Once the door shuts, you’re both chest to chest with one another and you back away quickly.

“Sorry, I was just going to tell you food is ready. Is everything alright with your friend?” You flush and go back into the kitchen. Felix tucks his phone into the pocket of his jeans as he follows you.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Sorry if I alerted you,” He flashes you an apologetic smile as you slip into the seat across from him. You smile back, the nervousness from earlier evaporating.

“Lix, if you’re not hungry, you don’t have to keep me company,” You say. He waves a hand in front of his face and crosses his legs.

“Nah I love keeping you company!” He beams.

“Well then, thank you,” His bright smile is so contagious, you couldn’t help but smile back at him as you continue eating. You were grateful that he didn’t bring up the events of earlier tonight; you wouldn’t have known how to respond to them. And things were just starting to settle between you two. Ever since the hickey situation, it feels like there’s this weird air around you and Felix and you don’t know what it is and it makes you uneasy.

Felix starts bouncing his left leg and it catches your attention. You observe him quietly, looking at him through your eyelashes as you eat. He pulls out his phone and you watch him send a hurried text to someone. He puts it down and his leg relaxes a little. He rests his head on his knuckle as his eyes trail around the kitchen. His phone buzzes and he picks it back up. His eyes scan the message and you try to analyze his face. It’s honestly really hard to read. He puts his phone back down and you go back to eating your pasta.

“Do you want to go clubbing tomorrow, by any chance?” He blurts suddenly. You swallow.

“Any special reason?” You ask, scraping your bowl for the rest of the pasta. He shakes his head.

“Just to have a bit of fun before the break is over and exams start,” He offers. You think about it for a moment. Clubbing does sound better than just drinking, which is what you did last time. And if Felix’s friends are also going, you’re going to have one hell of a time.

“Yeah I’d be down. Tomorrow night?” You confirm. He nods his head and he uncrosses his legs.

“My friends also want to go. That’s okay, right?” He adds. You nod enthusiastically. You stand up to wash your plate but Felix rushes over to the sink. He stands tall above you and looks straight into your eyes as he grabs the plate from you.

“Let me,” He quietly says, slipping the plate out of your hands with a smile. You’re dumbfounded and you open your mouth to protest. “No, you cooked. Least I can do is clean.”

“Lix, you didn’t even eat though. Trust me, it’s fine,” You reach back for the plate but the bastard is already putting soap on it. He shakes his head wildly.

“What if you go pick a movie for us to watch? It is Friday, after all,” He smirks, successfully changing the topic.

“It’s almost 10pm are you sure?” You argue.

“I’m sure,” he insists, now drying the plate. You let out a sigh as you walk over to the couch, plopping down and turning on the TV. He joins you shortly after.

“Since we’ve been watching way too many horror movies, we should watch a rom-com!” You declare.

“Honestly, I think I’m fine with that. Too much horror is probably not good for our mental health,” He laughs. You laugh with him as you scroll through the rom-com category on Netflix.

You both decide on a really corny looking one just for sh*ts and giggles. You glance over at Felix’s side of the couch and decide to crawl over to him. It’s better to let go of what happened earlier; you’re both young adults and it’s normal to feel like that. Hell, even you feel like that sometimes. You shouldn’t treat Felix differently just because you accidentally heard him.

He looks over as he hears you coming and he breaks out in that smile you adore. He’s already moving his arm out of the way to let you curl up against him. Tonight, he doesn’t mind if you both fall asleep on the couch together. You breathe in his scent and you suddenly miss being close to him. Because of the weird air, it always felt weird cuddling up to Felix but now, it just feels normal. You feel him wrap both of his arms around you, which isn’t something he does often and you just relish in it.

“You okay, Lix?” You whisper, looking up at him from his chest. He looks down at you and he studies your face for a moment. He gives you a soft smile and nods gently. You smile back and return your head to his chest, pulling his arms closer and holding them against your side with one of your hands.

Even his arms couldn’t protect you from the chilly atmosphere in your apartment. You shivered slightly in his arms. He looks down as you curl even closer against him, if it’s even possible. He thinks for a moment and then sits you up with him. You whine softly in protest and you look back at him to see what he’s doing. You catch him slipping off his hoodie, his shirt getting caught in it and giving you a wonderful view of his toned stomach, and you snap your eyes away from it and back to his face. He shakes his hair quickly once he removes the hoodie and he suppresses a giggle as he pulls it over you. You let out a muffled noise as you pull your arms through the sleeves and pop your head up. You pull the hood over your head and flop back onto his warm chest.

“Aren’t you going to be cold now?” You push against his chest to look at his face. He pushed your head back onto his chest, catching you off guard. And for some reason that simple motion had your stomach flipping inside.

“No, you’re warming me up. I was starting to sweat in my jacket actually,” He assures. You look at him for a few more seconds before relaxing in his arms again. You feel so cozy and your body is warm from the inside out. Your body’s natural response is to just close your eyes. You wrap your arm around Felix’s stomach and you rest your cheek against it, looking away from the TV. You were ready to hear something about how you shouldn’t sleep here or how Felix wasn’t going to carry you to your room but it never came. Instead, Felix’s lithe fingers threaded their way into your hair and the action lulls you to sleep.

Felix reaches for the remote next to him without disturbing you. You protest softly in your sleep and cling onto his shirt harder. He pauses for a moment until you relax. He breathes out in relief and then snatches the remote, turns off the tv, and tosses it, gently, to the floor.

“Wha- Lix? What’s going on?” You rouse, your voice thick and scratchy from sleep. You sat up and rubbed your eyes.

“Nothing, I'm just getting more comfortable. You can go back to sleep in just a sec. I’m sorry for waking you up,” He whispers, ruffling your hair gently. You hum sleepily, closing your eyes again. He puts a pillow behind his head and then pulls a blanket over you and him. He lays down and you follow him. Instead of falling next to him, however, you fall on top of him. His voice catches in his throat as you just curl up under his chin. You’re lighter than he anticipated. But he wouldn’t have minded either way. He smiles at you breathing rhythmically against his chest. He rubs his hand against your back a few times before wrapping his arms around you and closing his eyes.

The next morning, you woke up to a jump scare. A pleasant one, but it was still a shock. Felix’s face was just a few centimeters from yours. Somehow, you had fallen asleep on the couch with him yesterday and he really didn’t carry you to your bed this time. You were so close that you could feel his breath against your nose, you could smell the faint traces of his cologne from last night, and you could hear him breathing. Flustered, you just shove your head back against his chest. You wished that he both did and didn’t wake up soon. You wanted to know what he would do when he finds you both so close.

And so, you wait it out. You make yourself comfortable again in his arms and close your eyes. Felix never woke up too late so you knew he’d be up in a few minutes. With your head against his chest again, you could feel the rise and fall of it and you took a moment to appreciate the peacefulness of it. Felix’s arms tighten around you for a moment and he takes a big inhale. You hear him yawn and you assume he’s waking up. You quickly shut your eyes and snuggle in closer. He stretches his arms out and now you know he is actually awake. He brings his hands back down on you and you feel his head look down at you. He snaps his head back onto the pillow as he cradles you with one arm and rubs his eyes with the other. You always find it sweet whenever he goes out of his way to keep his arms around you.

He tries to sit up but it’s awkward with you next to him. You decide to give up your facade and you sit up with him, slouching slightly as you rub your eyes as well.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” His deep morning voice was something you’ll never get over.

“I woke up before you, actually,” You give him a sleepy smile. He breathes out a laugh and stretches again.

“What time is it?” He feels around for either yours or his phone. He picks one of them up and checks the time.

“11:27. Do you wanna have breakfast or lunch?” He asks, yawning again.

“I’m more of a lunch kind of person,” You chuckle.

“Yeah, I agree. Do you want to order something?” He offers, scrolling on his phone.

“Yes please. I really don’t feel like cooking right now,” You crawl off of the couch.

“Are you down for Mexican food? Like tacos or a burrito?” He looks up from his phone.

“I would kill for a burrito right now,” You gasp, falling back on the floor dramatically.

A few moments pass and Felix announces that he’s placed the order. “What do you want to do before we leave tonight,” He turns to you.

“I’m not sure but I think I definitely want to stay home,” You say.

“Remember when you said you’d wipe my ass in Smash Bros?” Felix starts, tapping his chin thoughtfully. You give him a side-eye.

“Yeah. What about it? I still stand by it,” You puff your chest out.

“Lets put you to the test, then,” He stands up and runs to his room. You decide to clean up the living room slightly and you put away the blanket you and Felix used last night.

When he comes back, you’re scrolling idly on your phone. He sets up the Switch in the living room and tosses you two remotes.

“Who do you main, again?” His tone was kind of mocking. “I’m sure it’s like, Princess Peach or something.”

“It’s Zero Suit Samus, thanks for asking,” You smirk.

“Impressive choice,” He comments, scrolling over the list of characters. “See, I think the best people main Kirby and that’s just a fact.”

“Lix, I think you’re just projecting,” You tease.

“We’ll see about that. Get ready for the worst defeat you’ve ever seen,” He pulled his legs up and sat criss-cross on the couch. He glanced over at you with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“And that, my friend, is how it’s done,” You sit back on the couch, pride flowing from your body. Felix’s jaw dropped and he stared at the TV screen. He reached next to him and threw a pillow at your head. It hit you with a whack.

“Ow, sore loser much?” You ponder out loud.

“I really thought I would win,” He shook his head, still awestruck.

“Aw, Lix, you said that the last 4 rounds as well. I’m sure you’ve learned your lesson, though, right?” You coo, reaching over to pet his hair. He lets you stroke it once, twice, thrice before he turns around and sticks his fingers into your side. You bark out a laugh as he continues.

“Wait!- Lix- Sto-!” Your words are cut off as you either gulp in a breath or laugh. You can hear Felix laughing with you as you both fall backwards onto the couch. Your feet kick desperately beneath him but to no avail. You push against his chest fruitlessly. You can hear him giggling mercilessly on top of you.

“Felix, I’m going to pee myself if you keep going,” You manage to squeeze out in between breaths. He keeps going for a moment more before pulling his hands away. He’s sitting on your thighs, still giggling. You’re gasping for breath beneath him, holding your hands close to your chest. Once you manage to stabilize your breathing, you feel his hands glide up your sides again and your eyes snap open to his. The playful fire is still burning in his eyes as he locks them with yours.

“Lix, please, no. I’ll do anything,” You beg, clasping your hands together. He simply traces the outline of your body with his finger tips, making you shiver. “Lix?” You call his attention but he seems so focused on what he’s doing. You swallow. He rakes his gaze across your torso briefly and you think he’s just watching where his hands are going. His eyes snap back to your face and just like that, his hands are gone.

“It was payback,” He smirks, sliding off of your legs. You sit up and hug your sides protectively.

“Yeah? I almost peed on the couch. And I would’ve made you clean it up,” You sass.

“Oh sure you would,” He picks the controller back up.

The rest of the afternoon was spent playing games and talking about life. You and Felix got so caught up with school sometimes that you never had too many chances to just talk. You ate the burrito he had ordered for you and even tried some of the tacos he got. You still preferred your burrito. It was a cozy afternoon. And it was a perfect cooldown for the hectic night you were going to have.

“Lix, I hate to ask you this but, could you help me find something to wear?” You meekly ask as you stand in the doorway to his room. He was already dressed, you noticed. He spins around to look at you; still dressed in the lounge clothes from a few hours ago.

“Sure. Are you having trouble picking something?” He guides you gently out of his room and into yours. You nod your head defeatedly. “What are the options?”

“I don’t have any. I’m having a real hard time today and I don’t know why,” You mutter.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll help you figure it out. What are you in the mood for?” He puts a hand on your arm.

“It’s going to be warm in there, so not something long-sleeved. Sequins is not the move tonight, either. I think something simple but showy should do it, what do you think?” You turn to him, picking at your nails nervously. His eyes skim down to your hands.

“Is it the guys?” He asks.

“Huh?”

“Do my friends make you uncomfortable?”

Your eyes widen immediately. “No! Of course not. I’ve just never been clubbing without another girl before.”

“So it is because of them?” Felix confirms.

“No, not entirely. They don’t make me uncomfortable,” You persist. He looks up at you, unconvinced. Once he saw you weren’t budging, he turned his attention back to your closet.

“I think that black one should be great for tonight; it’s simple, but you honestly kill it in that dress,” He stands up and takes it from where it was hanging. You take it from his hands and run your fingers over it gently.

“You’re a genius, Lix!” You beam, your mood instantly turns around. Overcome with emotion, you reach up and give him a kiss on the cheek. “Oh- I…. I’ll go put this on then,” You step back awkwardly and run to the bathroom. He stands, alone, in your room for a few moments more. He places a hand on the cheek where you kissed him and he walks back to his room silently.

You were sitting against the bathroom door, the dress that was in your hands was now bunched up against your burning face. Why the hell did you kiss him?! All he did was choose your dress. Holy sh*t, this wasn’t good. But then again, friends kiss each other on the cheek all the time. Your friend from Brazil does it to you all the time. Yeah, so this is totally fine and it means nothing. Yeah.

Taking a deep breath, you push yourself off of the door and start dressing yourself. The dress is snug, but you feel sexy in it. It had a sweetheart neckline and thin straps but you adored it. While you were in the bathroom, you did your makeup and curled the ends of your hair.

“We have to go! Are you almost done?” Felix’s hurried voice is outside of the bathroom door.

“Yes! Just putting on some perfume,” You say, spraying your favorite perfume on your neck.

“Oh! Lix, can you do me a favor and grab my black, fuzzy jacket from my closet?” You yell as you hear his footsteps retreat. You hear him stop and go into your room. You smile as you finish looking in the mirror and step out of the bathroom. You bump into Felix as you leave and you both take a second to admire the other.

“Looking good, dude!” You gawk. Seeing him dressed up always sparked some kind of feeling inside of you and you didn’t know what it was. While you were caught up admiring him, he was doing the same to you; his eyes raking over over every area of your body. It was longer than he normally looked and you felt hot under his gaze.

“You as well! I told you that dress was a good pick,” He knocks himself out of the trance and hands you your jacket.

“I bet you, when we arrive at the club, the nine of us are going to turn heads,” You claim, walking over to the front door and slipping on your heels.

“You haven’t even seen my friends dressed up, though. How do you know?” He co*cks an eyebrow as you grab your purse for the night.

“I’m just confident they will. I’m sure at least one of them can get someone to go home with them. Or am I wrong?” You insist.

“No, You’re pretty spot on, actually,” He chuckled as he held the front door open for you. You say a quick thank you and he offers you his arm to help you walk to the elevator.

“I wonder what’s going to happen tonight. I’m actually quite excited,” You buzz next to him. He looks down at you quickly. The rest of the walk to the car is quiet, save for the sound of your heels clicking against the asphalt. You remove your jacket in Felix’s car and you drape it across your lap. You anxiously look out the window as he backs up; you make sure not to look at Felix as he backs up anymore.

“Holy sh*t you two look hot!” Han chortles as soon as he sees the two of you. Which automatically grabs the attention of the other guys. They scan you in your dress and you swear you could see some of them start to turn red. It actually helps calm your nerves. You feel Felix come up beside you and grab your hand. You look up at him, a questioning look in your eyes. He doesn’t look down at you. Instead, he just greets his friends and compliments them all.

“You do look dashing this evening,” Chris steps up to you, offering you that million dollar smile of his. God, his smile was so beautiful.

“Aren’t you quite the gentleman?” You respond, smiling back. You were feeling pretty flirty, and you haven’t even stepped foot into the club. You knew it was a bad idea to flirt with friends, though. Chris looks down to the floor and smiles before looking back up at you. He opens his mouth to say something before Changbin’s voice grabs both of you guys’ attention.

“C’mon party people! Let’s head inside!” He exclaims, ushering everyone towards the venue. Felix tugs on you gently to walk with him and Chris steps up to walk with you both.

“Felix, you don’t mind if I steal her for a dance, right?” He asks above you. Felix turns to look at Chris and glances at you for a split second.

“I think you should be asking her that, not me,” You smile as he says that. He’s always one to think of you over himself. You look up to face Bang Chan.

“I’d love a dance,” You say. He smiles back at you. Approaching the door of the club, Changbin shows the bouncer his ID and gestures to the rest of you. The bouncer scans your group and takes a look at your IDs before lifting the rope and allowing you to parade inside.

“Changbin is a member here?” You tug Felix down to your ear.

“Changbin is rich as f*ck, dude. Didn’t I tell you?” He responds, standing up and smiling at your shocked state.

“No, it seems like you left that detail out,” You gape after Changbin. Inside the club, the music is booming, people are dancing, and the bar looks really busy. It was a huge club, the biggest you’ve ever seen! It has two stories and the upstairs looks even more extravagant than the bottom. You take a moment to appreciate the club before you feel Chris slide next to you and slip his arm around yours.

“Shall we dance now or later?” He asks sweetly. Mind you, Felix was still on your other arm.

“Later, I think. Lix and I usually have a few drinks before dancing,” You say.

“No problem, then. I’ll be at the booth with Bin and Seungmin then,” He smiles at the both of you and walks off.

“Shall we?” You tug Felix’s arm to grab his attention. He looks down at you and nods, smiling. He leads you to the bar and waves over a bartender. A woman with butterfly locs tied back walks over to the both of you.

“What can I get you two?” She asks, smiling, putting down the towel she was holding. You stare at her for a moment as Felix orders.

“I’ll just have a martini, please,” He replies. You shake your head gently as she turns her attention to you.

“Can you guys make mojitos?” You dumbly ask. The girl in front of you chuckles.

“Absolutely, we can,” She smiles. “Is that all for you folks?”

“Yes, that’s perfect,” Felix answers as he slips into the barstool.

“I’ll have those out in just a moment,” She slides away from you two to get started on the drinks. You sit next to Felix, draping your jacket over your shoulders.

“It’s cooler than I thought it’d be in here,” Felix comments, fiddling with his ring.

“As in, it’s cold?” You ask. He nods. “I’m sure rich people can afford proper ventilation,” You snicker. He laughs with you.

“Yeah I think it’d be insulting to the guests if they didn’t,” He adds. You both laugh for a moment until the girl from earlier brings you your drinks.

“Here you are,” She smiles again as she sets them down in front of you and you catch her eyeing you for a moment longer. She moves to leave but you speak out.

“Wait! Before you go,” she pauses and turns to you, “I really like your hair. I love the gems on them.”

She breaks out into a wide smile. “You’re so sweet! Thank you!” You smile widely back at her and your heart warms. You love complimenting other people and the way they react never gets old.

“You wanna head back to the table?” Felix invites, standing up. You look over at him and nod enthusiastically, reaching for your drink. You and Felix weave your way through the crowd and manage to get to the enclosed area where your booth is. The seats were leather with velvet on the backside. All of the tables around you had a crimson tablecloth. You were amazed.

“Welcome back! I see you’ve already gotten your drinks,” Changbin opens his arms wide to welcome you both in. A few members of the group were missing like Chris, Han, Hyunjin, and Jeongin. Changbin himself was sipping on whiskey. Seungmin was having a mojito as well, it looks like, and Minho was simply sipping on some red wine. Classy, you thought.

“Changbin, this is crazy. Everything seems so expensive here,” You exclaim, slipping into the seat beside Minho. Felix slides in nex to Jeongin on the other side.

“I thought that I should spoil my friends tonight,” He smirks, leaning back in the seat and drinking more of his whiskey.

“We appreciate it a lot, Bin,” Seungmin says, smiling and sipping his mojito, which reminded you to have some of yours as well. You sighed contentedly as the flavor pours out on your tongue.

“Seungmin, is yours as heavenly as mine?” You ask, stirring the drink slightly with the straw. He nods happily.

“It’s so good today,” He responds with the same energy. You listen to the music for a few minutes, moving your head along with the rhythm. The more you drink, the more you feel your anxiety dissipate.

You see Chris bounding towards your table, his forehead shiny with a sheen of sweat. You knew what he was coming to ask and luckily, you had already finished your drink. Chan picks up one of the glasses of water on the table and gulps it down.

“Easy, Chan. I don’t want you to throw up on the dance floor,” Bin advises from his seat. Chan pants softly as he wipes his lips. You notice the top two buttons of his shirt are undone.

“Chris, have you had any drinks yet, tonight?” You look up at him in wonder.

“A girl bought me two shots of vodka but that’s all,” He responds, putting the glass back on the table. You hum in agreement. “Are you ready to dance now?” He turns his attention to you. You smile brightly, slipping your jacket off and taking his hand as you stand up. All of the guys have their eyes on the two of you as he leads you to the floor.

“You think he’s going to make a move on her?” Changbin asks Jeongin. Felix listens in on the conversation as he grasps his glass tighter. Jeongin looks over to where Chan was leading you and then turns back to Changbin.

“I’m actually not sure this time,” He furrows his brows.

“I don’t think so. He’s not her type,” Felix pipes up, sipping his martini.

“What makes you so sure, Felix?” Changbin urges. Felix looks down at his martini and smirks softly.

“I literally live with her. I know what her type is,” He responds proudly.

“I guess I can’t argue there. But then what do you call that?” He gestures to the two of you on the dance floor. Chris had at least one hand on you at all times and it looks like the two of you were never breaking eye contact. The 5 guys that were back at the booth couldn’t take their eyes off of the two of you; the way you danced with Chan was hypnotic. Chan’s hand was on your arm, your hips, your waist, your shoulders. He was everywhere.

There was no denying that Christopher Bang was an extraordinary dancer. He matched your rhythm and you could feel his soft yet confident touches. You missed the feeling of dancing with someone in a club late at night. You chat with him while dancing and you were having the time of your life.

“I hope my dancing is up to par with your expectations,” He says over the loud music.

“It exceeds my expectations!” You laugh as you bounce to the music with him.

“How are you enjoying living with Felix?” He suddenly asks, his sweet smile never leaving his face. You scrunch your face in confusion but you don’t lose your smile.

“It’s wonderful! I adore Felix. He’s always considerate and we always alternate doing chores around the apartment and we both respect each other a lot,” You smile as you tone down your dancing to get your words out. He flashes you an unusually warm smile.

“You wanna take a quick break so we can keep talking? I’ll buy you a drink,” He points to the bar and you nod eagerly. He takes your hand and leads you through the crowd of dancing people, much like how Felix did earlier. You both collapse on the bar stools as you fan yourself lightly.

“Felix mentioned earlier how it was quite cool in here but I really don’t feel any cool air now,” You chuckle breathlessly. Chris laughs with you and a bartender, a man, walks over to you guys. He asks what drinks you want and you settle for two shots of vodka.

“Two shots?” Chan asks, turning back to you once the server leaves.

“Yeah you seemed pretty buzzed with two shots. I feel fuzzy and I only had a mojito,” You smile lazily at him.

“Returning to what we were talking about earlier, Felix isn’t difficult to live with, right?” He confirms. You sit up straighter, crossing your legs.

“No, of course not. He’s respectful, like I said, and he always knows how to comfort me as well,” You continue.

“Comfort you?” Chan presses on. You nod and look up to thank the bartender as he hands you guys four shots of vodka. You pause for a second to clink your glass against Chris’s and shoot it. You cringe as the strong liquid goes down your throat and you set down the glass cup.

“Yeah, like he’s not afraid of physical affection. He always gives me hugs and sometimes we sleep together,” You reveal. You hear Chris choke on his shot and your hand shoots out to pat his back.

“You’ve slept together?!” He coughs, pushing his fist against his chest. You wave your hands wildly in front of yourself and shake your head.

“Oh f*ck, not like that! We sleep in the same bed sometimes,” You sputter. Chris finally gasps for air and you see his flushed face.

“Sorry for assuming,” He murmurs quietly.

“No, I could’ve worded that better,” You apologize quickly. Either it was the alcohol or the fact that you felt so safe around Chris, something in the air was making you lower your guard.

“Actually, I’ve never slept with anyone,” You confess, picking at your fingers nervously. As chan turns to look at you with surprise, you down the other shot you ordered

“Really?” His eyebrows rose. You nod slowly across from him.

“Is it surprising?” You ask weakly.

“A little, yeah,” He co*cks his head in surprise.

“Meaning…?” You press on. He turns to you with his other shot in his hand.

“You’re extremely good looking and you’re really awesome to be around. But I get it. Maybe you just haven’t found the right person yet,” He gestures in the air with his hand before shooting his own drink.

“‘Met the right person yet?’” You co*ck your eyebrow.

“Now, it’s my turn to apologize for my wording. I mean, you’ve been in a relationship, right?” He asks. You nod with a smile playing on the corners of your lips. “And it didn’t work out?”

“Well, no. Neither of them did. I don’t know, Chris. You are right though; I haven’t met the right person yet. I guess I want my first time to be special and both people I was with just wanted to rush into it. It was never the right time,” You spill. The alcohol really loosened your lips. Chan just sat there and listened intently.

“You never thought of, maybe,” he pauses for a minute and it looked like he was thinking. You wonder what he’s going to say and it almost looks like he’s not going to say it. “Maybe having your first time with a friend or someone close to you?” He finishes finally. Your eyes widen for a moment before you let yourself think.

“Well, no. I always thought it would ruin the dynamic if that happened. And I don’t want to ruin a friendship just because I want to have sex with someone I trust for the first time,” You groan softly. He chuckles.

“Hey, it was just a suggestion. I understand what you’re saying, though,” He smiles, putting down his glass. “What about Felix?”

“What…. What about Felix?” You stutter, suddenly feeling warm again.

“You’ve never thought about him like that?” Chris asks with fake innocence. You can’t see that it's fake, though. You’re just focused on what he asked. You can feel your heart speed up in your chest.

“I… guess I can’t say that I haven’t,” You tread lightly. You know that you’re talking to one of, if not, his best friend. You see Chris relax in his seat and he’s also crossing his legs now.

“But you wouldn’t act on those feelings?” He states. You can feel the tipsy-ness of the drinks kick in now.

“No. Not if it meant sacrificing my friendship with him,” You confidently respond.

“Okay, and what if he acts up? What would you do?” He traces the rim of his glass with his finger. He spots the bartender and waves him down to get the cups.

“Let him,” You truthfully say with a giggle. Chris’s expression doesn’t seem to change as he stands up.

“How about we go dance some more. Do you feel up for it?” He grabs your hands and helps you stand. You nod your head yes and let him lead you back to the dance floor.

“Oh look, they're coming back to the dance floor,” Hyunjin calls the attention of the guys at the table. The conversation ceases as they watch you and Chris enter the dance floor again.

“Is it just me, or does she seem tipsy?” Han looks at Minho.

“Yeah, I think they got some drinks or something,” He responds, taking a sip of his water he had ordered a few minutes ago. Felix had a few more drinks after you left which also left him feeling tipsy. Like Chan, the top buttons of his shirt had also come undone as he was feeling really hot. He was leaning back in the booth with his legs spread and his drink was resting on his thigh.

“Yo woah woah wait, are you all seeing what I’m seeing?” Han’s eyes were bulging and everyone else followed his eyes to see what he was looking at. There, in the middle of the dance floor, you were grinding against Christopher Bang Chan. And you look like you are having the greatest time in your f*cking life. Chan, with his hands on your hips, is helping you move in time to the music. You, with your hands in your hair, eyes closed, and totally lost in the music. You looked ethereal under those lights. All of the guys shifted in the booth. Felix couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

“You remember what we just talked about, right?” Chan whispers in your ear as soon as you guys return to your previous spot. You nod, starting to match the rhythm of the song. “Do you want to help Felix act on these feelings?” He looks you dead in the eyes. You stop for a moment and really think. Is this what you want? The thinking had you sobering up briefly. Chan leans into your ear again. “I think you should,” He leans back and stares at you seriously. You search his eyes for a moment but you’re not even sure that you’re looking for.

“How do we do that?” You finally respond. Chris subtly smirks at you.

“Do you trust me?” He offers you his hand and starts moving the both of you to the music. You nod firmly. “Follow my lead. If you don’t like it or you get uncomfortable, just tell me and we’ll stop, okay?” He confirms.

“Got it,” You respond, preparing yourself for whatever it was Chris wants. At first, you just dance normally with him but you see his eyes dart over to the booth and he spins you around briefly.

“Just let go and dance,” He whispers quickly in your ear before placing his hands on your hips and bringing them to brush against his hips. You jump slightly and turn back to stare at him, your mouth agape. He nods back firmly and gives you a reassuring smile. You turn back around and decide to give in. With the alcohol in your system, it’s not even a challenge. You figure you might as well put on a show, but you assumed nothing was going to come out of it, so you close your eyes. You dance blindly to the music, having only Chris’s hands to guide you.

“I believe it’s working,” You hear him breathe into your ear. You could hear the smirk dancing on his lips. He taps your hips gently to prompt you to open your eyes. The sight that greets you when you do has your breath catching in your throat.

You make direct eye contact with Felix. The look in his eyes could only be described with one word and that word was hunger. He looked like he was going to devour you, just like a predator. You maintain eye contact with him as you press backwards against Chris and you hear him suppress a groan. You see Felix shift in his seat but also doesn’t break eye contact. You lean back against Chris’s chest and wrap an arm around his neck. Something was possessing you, that was the only explanation you had as to why you were doing this. Never in your life have you ever danced or done anything like this. You pulled Chris’s face into your neck and you felt him give you a little kiss there. Nothing more, though. But you knew it was enough. You closed your eyes as you felt the contact of his lips and it lingered.

When your eyes opened, Felix had put down his glass and he returned his gaze to you. You, with your half-lidded eyes and revealing dress, dancing and grinding on his best friend.

“You’re driving him crazy, you know?” Chan chuckles against your neck. He’s peering at Felix through his eyelashes. You give him a nod that you mask as you continue dancing. “You might want to help him after we’re done,” You gulp as he says that. You didn’t plan this far ahead. You kind of totally forgot that this was so that Felix could do something. You suddenly grew scared but excitement still bubbled in your chest.

The song came to an end and Chris detached himself from you and turned you back around. He gave you a little spin and gave you a proud smile.

“I didn’t know you had it in you,” He congratulates you. You give him a flustered smile.

“I think all that dancing sobered me up,” You muse. He plants a friendly kiss on your cheek as he leads you out of the dance pit.

“I think it sobered him up as well,” He says close to your cheek.He nudges your arm and looks further away from you. There was Felix, striding towards the both of you. That indecipherable look was back. Chris plants his best innocent look on his face as he approaches.

“Hey, Lixie, what’s up?” Chan offers. Felix looks at him for a moment and then back to you. You finally notice that he has your jacket and purse in his arms. You resist the urge to bite your lips in front of him but your legs start shaking from anxiety.

“Nothing much. I just feel really tired and was thinking it was time to head home. It is 1 in the morning, after all,” He quickly responds. He turns to you and opens your jacket to let you slip into it. “It’s cold outside,” He whispers in your ear, his arms squeezing yours as he helps you. His words send a chill down your spine.

“Sure! I think we all had a great time tonight. Great suggestion, by the way, Felix. We should do this again sometime!” Chris goes in to give both of you a hug and then he bounds off towards the booth.

“We’re leaving already?” You ask Felix as he grasps your hands again and pulls you to the exit. He just nods curtly. “But I didn’t get to say bye to the rest of them!”

“They’ll understand,” He says shortly.

“Understand?” You quietly say to yourself as Felix throws open the club doors and stalks out. And then you remember the things that went down less than 5 minutes ago and you can feel yourself blushing wildly.

“Wait, Felix, can you slow down? My feet are killing me,” You pull him back and he stops. You fall into a slow but comfortable pace with him. The silence is all but comfortable, though. It was suffocating, even though you were outside. There was some kind of unspoken thing going on that neither of you wanted to acknowledge at the moment. You certainly weren’t going to.

The drive home was also stifling. Luckily, you had turned on the radio and you were listening to the 80s radio, one of your favorites. However, you did notice Felix was speeding and that scared you a little.

“Lix, you are sober right?” You tentatively start. He glances over at you for a moment.

“I wouldn’t be driving if I was,” He responds, his eyes drifting back to the road. You hum out. You weren’t sure what was going to happen when you got back home.

The parking garage was pretty full, as expected, as you two pull in. Like always, Felix helps you out of the car. His hand was warm, as per usual and you would’ve been grateful for it any other night but you were already exceptionally warm tonight.

Felix takes long, sure strides as he leads you into the elevator. You were grateful for your heels, which provided the two of you with some type of noise. You were even grateful for the normally annoying elevator music. But you felt like if you two were engulfed in silence for more than 30 seconds, something was going to burst. But you weren’t sure of how he felt. And that slightly scared you.

As you approach the door to your apartment, you start digging in your purse for the keys. Felix didn’t have them on him so he let you take your time. Your hands are shaky as you pull them out and try to stick them through the keyhole. Somehow, you manage to fumble and they fall out of your hands.

“Are you still tipsy?” He asks, bending down to grab the keys. You shake your head.

“No, I sobered up a lot on the dance floor. My head isn't fuzzy anymore,” You try to break the tension by laughing slightly but it doesn’t work. All that happens is you can feel the air get even harder to breathe in. Felix finally unlocks the front door and you stumble inside, your feet numb from dancing in heels. Felix shuts the door and locks it.

Before you can bend down and unbuckle your heels, you can feel his hands on your arms.

All of a sudden, you’re being spun and your back hits the front door gently. Felix has you pinned against the door.

Chapter 6: More and More

Chapter Text

Your eyes close upon impact. You open them slowly but keep them trained on the floor. The quick rise and fall of your chest starts up and you keep your eyes fixated on Felix’s shoes. All you hear for a few moments is just Felix’s heavy breathing. Anxiety courses through your body. You gulp down a breath as you get ready to speak.

“Felix,” Is all you can manage to breathe out.

“When I introduced you to my friends, I didn’t think you were going to go after any of them,” He responds.

“I didn’t go after Chan. He came after me,” You murmur.

“But what you did on the dance floor came from both of you. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have happened,” You hear him scoff slightly and you flinch softly.

“I….,” You don’t even have a good reason to deny it. He saw it with his own eyes, even the events leading up to it. You see his hand move under your head and you feel his finger dip under your chin. He lifts your head to look at him gently. You swallow once as you meet his eyes. If you wouldn’t have known, you would’ve assumed Felix was totally calm. His dilated eyes and flushed cheeks gave himself away, though.

“What prompted you to do that? I thought you didn’t want to do any of that stuff,” He calmly asks. Your eyes dart in between his.

“Chris said..,” You start, your words dying on your tongue.

“Chris said, what, darling?” His voice dropped an octave. You swallow again. He knows your weakness is pet names.

“You don’t have to hide anything from me. You can tell me anything you want, you know that,” He reminds you sincerely. Your breathing is back to being shallow; you feared that making a sound would make Felix pounce. Mind you, he was still trapping you against the door.

“He said… That it would do something to you,” You say barely above a whisper. You watch him take a deep inhale and let it out slowly.

“And you wanted it to do something to me?” His voice grows quieter as he takes a step towards you. You can’t help but drop your eyes from his gaze. You couldn’t handle the intensity of it anymore.

“I wasn’t opposed to it,” You stammer quietly, pressing yourself firmly against the door.

“I don’t know if you want it to happen,” He murmurs. He leans down and presses his forehead against yours. Your breath catches in the back of your throat and you close your eyes. You gulp again, finding the courage to say these next words.

“If I didn’t want something to happen, I wouldn’t have taken Chris up on his offer,” Your breathing speeds up again. He’s so close to you that you can feel his body heat radiating off of his loose button down.

Felix removes his forehead from yours and you open your eyes slightly. His lips are slightly parted and you can see him lean in again. Except this time, he wasn’t leading with his forehead. You tremble from anxiety as he leans closer and closer. With only a few centimeters to go, your eyes flutter shut. For a moment, he just pauses. And you feel his labored breathing against your lips. You wish he didn’t stop; the butterflies in your stomach are on an absolute rampage right now and you could feel the instability of your legs as they trembled.

You hear him breathe out a laugh and you know you’re f*cked now.

He finalizes the distance and you feel his lips ghost over yours for a moment before pushing in with more pressure. You let out a small noise in surprise as he does. Your hands are clenched into fists at your sides as he lingers. He pulls away just barely to gauge your reaction and goes back in for a second time. At the same time, he moves his hands from their position on the wall to your jaw and the other slides down to your waist. You make a mental note to thank Chris generously later. He gently pushes your head back against the door as he opens your mouth with his. You pant heavily against his mouth. You shakily move your hands around his neck as his kissing picks up the pace ever so slightly.

Just like all things, Felix approaches this head-first. His slow pace does nothing to hide the passion behind them. Your lips slide against his rhythmically and your fingers tighten on his neck. Once he feels that, his hand on your waist tightens and you can feel him pick up the pace once more. He steps closer to you, unable to get enough. Your chest brushes his and you can’t suppress the shiver that ripples through your body. Felix feels your trembling state against him but he presses on. He swipes his tongue over your bottom lip and he feels you gasp against him, fingers tightening against his collar. He retracts his tongue based on your reaction but he feels you relax after a few moments. He feels your shaky tongue mirror the action he had previously taken and he lets a groan stutter into your mouth.

You allow your mouth to open as you also retract your tongue. You hoped that Felix would get the hint and thank the Gods he knows how to read body language. You feel his tongue slide tentatively into your mouth and you let a moan slip out. You jerk your head back and it just hits the door. You let out a noise of pain against him but he just continues. You feel his tongue slide against yours and you almost collapse against him. This drags a moan out of you and his kissing stutters. You feel him pull away for a moment and you disconnect with a wet sound. You’re both breathing heavily.

“You okay?” He pants. You nod, looking back up at him. Your lips are parted and swollen and you feel his hands twitch against you as you stare up at him. You move your gaze down towards his lips again and you see him swallow.

“I…more?” You ask, looking back into his eyes. He breaks eye contact for a moment and you see his lips part as well. His eyes dart back to your face and he moves your head to the side. He dives into your jaw and starts leaving kisses there. You grab fistfuls of Felix’s shirt and you can feel him smirk against your skin.

“Lix, this isn’t what I meant by more,” You pant, your fingers flexing against him.

“I’m simply repaying the favor I owe you,” He hoarsely says against your jaw. You open your mouth to ask him what he means but he slides his lips down against your neck and now you understand what he means. You feel him move around looking for your most sensitive spot and you whimper slightly once he does. He moves the hand on your jaw to rest against the side of your neck to keep you steady as he sucks and nibbles on it, just like you did to him. The problem is that you’re a bit more sensitive than he is and every touch had you mewling.

“Lix, I… I can’t,” You’re cut off by another whine as he bites down on your neck and then licks it softly.

“Can’t what?” He trails his lips to your ear and you lean into his head accidentally.

“‘m sensitive there,” You manage. He chuckles deeply and you have to stop yourself from groaning at that.

“Oh, I know,” He smirks and he starts working on a different part of your neck. You move a hand from his neck up to his hair and you tug on it gently. You feel the vibrations of his groan against your neck and then he’s detaching himself from it and pulling himself back up to level with you. You stumble against the door slightly and he moves his gaze to the floor.

Noticing that you still have your heels on, he drops to one knee and unbuckles them for you. He helps you slip out of them and holds onto your thighs to support you. Before he comes up, you feel him plant a kiss beside your knee.

“Your feet hurt don’t they?” He asks as he comes up.

“A little but I’m not paying attention to them,” You comment. He hums softly. Before you know it, his hands are snaking against your waist and you’re being propped up against the door. Your legs clamp around his waist and you instantly pull him closer to your chest. Your eyes are wide from the surprise.

“Is this better?” He’s not even struggling. You manage to nod. “Good,” He whispers. You see his eyes return to your lips and this time, you meet him halfway.

You both instantly moan into each other’s mouths and the passion from earlier seems to have increased tenfold. You pull him as close as you can and you can feel him move his hands to your thighs. He grips and kneads them as you kiss. The heat coming off of his lips is heavenly to you. His honeyed tongue slips into your mouth again and you melt in its taste. He removes his tongue and goes back to giving you open mouthed kisses.

“Felix, if you’re uncomfortable, we can move,” You breathe out in between kisses. He wordlessly pulls you away from the door and you feel him walk down towards the hallway. You’re impressed by his ability to kiss you, hold you up-right, and walk down the dark hallway. But you don’t have time to think before he pushes you gently against his bedroom door and fumbles with the doorknob. He lets you down and holds your waist as he throws open the door. He pulls you inside and quickly shuts the door. He grabs the remote for his lights and turns them on. Bright blue lights illuminate the room and he gives you the remote.

“Pick the color,” His voice sounds scratchy like he’s just woken up, just the way you like it. You waste no time in picking the lilac he had created and throwing the remote onto his desk beside the bed. As you turn back around, his hands are on your waist again as he reconnects your lips. You squeak out in surprise as his lips pry yours open. He guides you to his bed and pushes you down on it gently. You fall onto your back and he takes a moment to admire the way you look; your hair splayed out against his blankets, your black dress hiked up on your legs, your pretty pink lips that were swollen because of him.

Felix carefully crawls on top of you and looks at you again but from closer up. You wrap your arms around his neck again and you flash him a small smile. Your chest falls up and down as your heart beats a million miles per minute.

“We don’t have to go further if you don’t want to,” He takes your hand and kisses it softly. The action melts your heart.

“We don’t.” You agree. “But I still want to kiss you,” You whisper. He swallows a lump that formed in his throat and he dives back to your lips. You found his kisses addictive. That was the only way you could describe them. The way his lips tasted vaguely like liquor but also sweet, his tongue that expertly knew its way around your mouth already, it had you going insane. No one could blame you for the way you felt.

You bend your left knee and you cage Felix into your body. You feel his arm move down your thigh and squeeze. You arch your back and he muffles your gasp with his lips. He pinches your skin gently as he slides his tongue along the roof of your mouth. You moan loudly against him again.

But you feel like you’re the only one making noises tonight. You weren’t having that. You push his tongue out of your mouth and slide your tongue into his. He lets out a noise of surprise as you slide your tongue over his. You trace his teeth with yours and you can barely hear the small grunt he lets out. You move your hand into his hair again and you mimic the action he just did and swiped your tongue along the roof of his mouth. You did that while tugging his hair gently and that’s when he moaned out loud. You giggled quietly against him. You feel him groan softly against him as you do.

From there, you feel things die down slowly and Felix detaches himself from you for the final time. He helps you sit up and allows you to catch your breath. After a few minutes of silence, he breaks it.

“We should talk about this in the morning,” He quietly says. You nod beside him. You turn to look at him and find he’s already looking at you. You blink softly and slide your hand against his jaw, leaning in and kissing him one last time. He places his hand over yours and breathes in deeply as you leave your lips on his. You pull away with a wet smack and you give him a small smile. You stand up and make your way to his door.

“Goodnight, Felix,” You say softly as you shut his door.

Chapter 7: Decisions

Chapter Text

Closing the door to your room, you put your hands over your face. Oh my god, you just crossed the line of intimate physical affection with your best friend. Your mind is spinning and you don’t know what to do. Did you enjoy the makeout session? f*ck yeah you did. But you didn’t know what to do now. You were damned if you were going to let it ruin your friendship. Maybe Felix was just pent up or something. It probably meant nothing. Mind reeling, you did the first thing that popped into your head.

It is now 3 in the morning and you are frantically searching your contacts for Christopher Bahng. You chew on your nails nervously as the phone rings.

After the 5th ring, someone answers. It was Chris himself. He calls your name, confused.

“Is something wrong?” He sounds groggy, like he just woke up.

“Chris? Did I wake you?” You say softly into the receiver, heading over to your bed and sitting down.

“Yeah but don’t worry about it. You must have a reason for doing this,” He mumbles softly. You hear him yawn on the other end.

“I… it’s not super urgent,” You mumble awkwardly, taking a deep breath.

“No c’mon you can tell me,” You hear shuffling on the other side, like he was sitting up. You take another deep breath.

“Chan, it worked,” You say, cupping the receiver to your mouth. There’s silence for a moment.

“So,” He starts and pauses, “you called me at 3 in the morning to tell me your roommate, and my best friend took you to bed?” You sit up immediately in your bed.

“No! It didn’t go past kissing but that’s not the point! We kissed, Chris,” You emphasize.

“Yeah and wasn’t that the whole point of what we did at the club?” He asks groggily. You can just picture him on the other line sitting on his bed, half awake, with his eyes closed.

“I….I’m not sure anymore,” You confess. You stand up quickly and start pacing in your room.

“What do you mean, ‘you’re not sure’?” He sounds more firm now. You look down at the ground.

“Okay this might sound bad since that whole thing literally just happened but I don’t think I’ve properly thought it over. I mean, isn’t it bad to get into any kind of romantic or sexual relationship with my roommate?” You remark.

“Yeah but-”

“So then I think, for now, maybe it’s best we don’t do anything about whatever is going on between Felix and I. That way, I think it’d die down and then we’ll see if it’s real feelings or if one of us is just pent up or whatever,” You conclude.

“You really want to ignore it?” Chan confirms.

“It’s probably for the best, right?” You weakly ask.

“That’s up for you to decide, don’t you think?” He chuckles softly. “However, you do need to let Felix know so that he doesn’t come onto you.”

“He’d do that?” You stop pacing.

“Well, what exactly happened between the two of you? You never gave me details,” He sounds more awake now. You debate on telling his closest friend the details about it.

“He kinda just pinned me to the door and he thought that what we were doing on the dance floor meant I was interested in you so he was inquiring about that. And I told him we did that so that he’d react and he did end up pausing for a moment to make sure I wanted it. And, f*ck, this is going to sound so messed up but I might’ve just said I wanted something to happen because it was the heat of the moment. I don’t f*cking know anymore!” You put a hand on your forehead, breathing heavily now.

“So you did give him the green light to proceed, okay,” Chan says.

“What does that mean, Chris?” You mumble softly, flopping onto your bed.

“Sometimes when people have already done something intimate with another, they don’t ask for verbal consent when they want to do it again. They just read your body language. And that will probably happen unless you sit down and talk to him about it and be honest. Felix isn’t the type to get all angry that you’re rejecting him, y’know?” He declares.

“I don’t know if I want to reject him. I don’t know what I want,” You fall back on your mattress.

“This might sound mean but, you need to figure it out. Being caught in this limbo will not help either of you,” He says softly.

“No, you’re right. I know. I’ll do it soon, I promise,” You lay on your side, sighing softly.

“It sounds like you had one hell of a night, though. You deserve a good night’s sleep,” You can hear the smile in his voice.

“I agree. I’ll get right on that,” You smile back.

“Alright, remember to call me if you need anything. Even if I’m ‘Felix’s friend’, I’m now yours too. I can try and help in any way possible,” He offers.

“Thanks, Chris. I really appreciate it. Sorry to wake you up,” You laugh softly as you cringe in embarrassment.

“No worries. Well, I’m off then. Sleep well!” He says and hangs up.

You turn your phone off and throw it on the bed next to you. You sigh heavily one last time and then hoist yourself up. Luckily, your jacket had fallen off somewhere (it was in Felix’s room) and so you didn’t have to worry about putting it away. You simply slid off your dress and pulled an oversized shirt over your torso and slumped over to your desk. More and more you’re grateful for the mirror your sister gifted to you when you left for college.

You slide onto your desk chair and blink sleepily at your reflection. You pick up the makeup remover solution on your desk and dab some of it on a small makeup pad and you rub it over your eyes. Once your makeup is off, you throw the small pads away and dive into your bed. You snuggle up against all of your pillows and stuffed animals as you try to think of anything but Felix.

Your phone ringing by your side is what gets you out of your deep sleep. You moan sleepily as you fumble around your covers, looking for your bedside table. Your hand flops over the vibrating phone and you hold it to your ear.

“Hello?” Your scratchy morning voice makes yourself cringe.

“You just woke up didn’t you?” Your friend’s voice floods your ear.

“Delaney?” You croak.

“Yeah! Why are you still in bed? It’s almost 1 in the afternoon,” They laugh. You sigh heavily, recalling the events of last night.

“It’s a long story,” You mutter, yawning.

“Hey, I’ve got time. You wanna meet up and grab some coffee? It might wake you up,” They cheekily say. You close your eyes and huff out a laugh.

“Yeah sure. The usual place?” You sit up.

“You know it. Be here in no less than an hour!” They leave no room for arguments. You hum in acceptance and hobble out of bed.

“Alright see you later then. Love you!” They say and you respond with a kiss. You let the phone fall back down onto the bed as you search through your closet for some clothes.

Settling on something cozy and comfortable, you tidy up your hair and put it back up into a ponytail. Luckily, all traces of your makeup from last night are gone. Simple makeup would do for today, you decide. Some eyeliner and mascara would be fine. You leave your room and make a beeline for the kitchen, grabbing one of the muffins Felix had baked two days ago and a napkin. From the serene stillness of the apartment, you deduced that Felix was not home. You stuff the muffin into your mouth as you put on your shoes and grab your bag.

The cafe Delaney wants to go to was within walking distance of your apartment and it was no more than a 15 minute walk. The crisp Autumn air nips at your face as you walk down the street. Connecting your headphones to your phone, you shuffle one of your favorite playlists and you look at the scenery around you. Korea in Autumn is by far your favorite; the vibrant orange and red leaves on the trees, on the ground, covering the roofs of every building. It was truly magical.

Stepping into the cafe, you look around and spot Delaney by the window, a steaming mug already in front of her and one was in front of the seat reserved for you. You smile as you step over towards them. You remove your headphones and stuff them into your bag before you sit down.

“Long time no see, Del!” You smile brightly as you stand over them. They look up at you and a sparkle shines over their honey brown eyes. They’re on their feet immediately and throwing their arms around you in a hug. You squeeze them back tightly, the smell of their woody cologne flooding your senses.

“Yeah College will do that to you,” They squeeze your arms lovingly as they back away. You both take a seat and you take hold of the mug of coffee in front of you.

“How’d you know I’d get here while the drink was still hot?” You ask, putting the mug up to your lips.

“I had an inkling,” They smirk, lifting their own cup. You chuckle softly, setting your cup back down. “Now, you wanna tell me why you only just got out of bed?”

You smile knowingly at the table. Of course you weren’t getting out of this one.

“You remember Felix, right?” You start, leaning over the table. Delaney just blinks.

“Yeah of course. Blond guy, who's your roommate?” They confirm. You nod.

“His hair is black now but yeah,” You shrug softly.

“What does he have to do with it?” Delaney co*cks their head in confusion. You give them a second to think it through and you swear you can hear the cogs turning in their head as they piece it together. Delaney’s jaw drops.

“No….,” They shake their head in surprise.

“‘No’ indeed, actually,” You smile softly. Delaney’s face scrunches in confusion but they wait for you to proceed. “We, uh…. We kissed last night.”

“That’s HUGE! Was that your first kiss?” Delaney’s eyes are sparkling again. You shake your head wildly, clutching onto your cup for stability.

“No! But it was the first time Felix and I did something that’s intimate. We’re roommates! And best friends!” You punctuate your words with a long sip of your coffee.

“I want details. Please,” Delaney smiles widely, folding their hands and shifting comfortably in their seat. You roll your eyes playfully.

“Well you should know about what happened leading up to it so,” You sigh heavily as you tell Delaney a play-by-play of what happened.

When you finish, Delaney looks deep in thought.

“So, what do you think?” You hesitantly ask. Delaney opens their mouth and then closes it abruptly. You look down at your drink and stir it absentmindedly with your spoon.

“I think Felix is into you,” Delaney blurts. You look up at them.

“Yeah no sh*t. What gave it away? The fact that he pinned me against our front door? Or the fact that he kissed me first?” You sarcastically respond. Delaney simply throws a napkin at you in retaliation.

“You’re a little sh*t. Anyways,” Delaney pauses and thinks some more, “yeah this is pretty complicated.” You hum softly.

“Can you blame me for being confused as f*ck?” You sigh softly. Delaney simply shakes their head. You rest your chin on your knuckles as you look out of the window.

“Hey I’m gonna go to the bathroom for just a little,” Delaney slides out of their seat and heads over to the bathroom. You droop against your chair and sip on your now lukewarm coffee. Your lips curl in mild disgust at the temperature.

Movement on your right catches your eye but you don’t dwell on it. This is, after all, a pretty popular coffee place. The people sit at the table directly behind you. And you don’t mean to eavesdrop, you really don’t. But when you hear your name drop, you’re all ears.

“So tell me what happened last night,” Chris’s voice. You tense. You know exactly who is sitting right behind you. He who is mere inches away from you.

“Chan, I already explained. But I’m still confused; you helped her get a reaction out of me? For what reason? And why did she go along with it? How do you feel about her? And how-”

Felix gets cut off by Chan. “Slow down, that’s too many questions,” He pauses for a moment and you hear him take a sharp inhale. “I admit, I was a little drunk when I offered it so I think it was one of those things where it just happened. But in response to your actual question, I did it because I can see the way you look at her.”

“I don’t look at her in any particular way,” Felix scoffs.

“That’s not what you said over the phone. Or would you want me to say that out loud now?” You can absolutely hear the smirk on Chan’s face.

“Oh my god, never repeat what I said,” Felix hisses softly. Chan just chuckles. That just piqued your interest more.

“So? Does that answer your question?” Chan sits back and crosses his arms.

“Maybe one of them. I still can’t believe I kissed her,” He mumbles. You hear him inhale and exhale sharply. He stirs his iced coffee and takes a sip.

“In a good way?” Chris presses.

“In a great way! She was an awesome kisser. Almost made me fall to my knees,” He chuckles softly. You choked on your own spit at that but held in your coughing to the point of tears. That familiar coil started appearing in the pit of your stomach, making it churn.

“Really?” Chan’s sly voice starts.

“Yeah of course! I kinda want to kiss her again,” He almost whispered the last part out but one of the downsides of sitting back to back to him means you can hear everything.

Your heart feels like it’s going to pop out of your chest right then and there. Picking up your phone, you send an emergency text to Delaney and pray to the Gods that they have their phone with them. Luckily, Delaney’s phone is welded to their hand and they respond instantly. You breathe out a small sigh of relief. You quickly type out what was happening and you were relieved when you see a message reading; “WHATASJHFDEAJ what are the f*cking odds? Okay, I’m leaving now. Keep listening and tell me what they say ;)”

“But I don’t think we can,” Felix’s voice pulls you out of your little world.

“Why not? I thought the kissing was a good sign?” Oh Chris. He knows exactly why not. He heard about it just about 12 hours ago.

“It’s complicated, no? We’re roommates and best friends. It’s just not a good idea to cross that line without any kind of talk beforehand. I don’t want to lose her,” You hear the sincerity in his voice and your heart just melts. Your chest is so, so warm.

“So you don’t want to take a shot at a relationship with her?” Chris just keeps going.

“I don’t know. I’ll follow whatever she wants. She can call the shots,” Felix responds, taking another swig of his coffee.

“You are going to tell her right?” Chan affirms. Felix thinks about it for a moment.

“I don’t think I have to, right? We’re probably on the same level right now,” He thinks out loud. You’re shocked at that. Felix just wasn’t going to communicate this to you? How were you going to find out how he was feeling if you weren’t here right now?

“It’s your choice, Lix. I think this is one of those things where I can’t tell you what to do or what not to do,” Chris sighs. He’s letting us take the reins now. It’s his way of saying he’s backing off. Well played.

At that moment, You see Delaney quietly walk back to your table and Delaney appears to be staring at the guys behind you. Your gaze burns holes into Delaney’s cheek as they sit down and they clear their throat as soon as you lock eyes.

“Have you finished your drink yet?” They ask hurriedly. You nod quickly and they stand up to put your cups into the dirty dishes place. They come back and grab their things. You follow suit, gathering your bag and phone that you had placed on the table.

Unfortunately, you have to pass by Felix’s and Chris’s table to get to the exit but you were hoping and praying that neither one of them noticed or recognized you. You zoom by the table quickly and you and Delaney walk a little further down the street.

As you walk by the table, Chris glances in your direction and a knowing smile appears on his face. Felix looks up at you but only sees your back. He thinks nothing of it.

“You think she’s good looking?” Felix comments as he watches the girl disappear. Chan snaps his gaze towards Felix. He blinks for a second before shifting in his seat.

“Yeah but not my type,” He smirks to himself and he covers it with his hand. He played it off like he was scratching his cheek. Felix didn’t suspect a thing. Instead, he simply shrugged and finished off his drink.

“The universe works in mysterious ways,” Delaney comments as soon as you can’t see the cafe anymore.

“God, that was so awkward. I thought I was going to suffocate. I held my breath so they wouldn’t pay attention to me!” You pout. “So much for a peaceful outing. Delaney shoots you a sympathetic smile while wrapping an arm around you.

“Hey, I’m sure you’ll get through this. It’s just an annoying phase. It’ll pass!” They reassure. You look at them and squeeze their hand.

“Thanks. What would I do without you?” You affectionately say.

“Probably spiral into madness,” They smirk. You roll your eyes but there was nothing malicious there.

Arriving back at the dorm, you find that it’s still empty. You breathe out gratefully, you didn’t want to run into Felix right now. You just needed some time to recover from last night and what happened at the coffee shop. Deciding it was time for a much needed self-care night, you stroll over to the fridge and grab a facemask from your stash. You giddily hop back into your room and start your routine.

You’re laying on your bed in a hoodie and sweats with headphones on and cucumbers over your eyes when the front door opens. Being in the peaceful state of mind you were in, you didn’t realize it until Felix is knocking at your door. You choke on a gasp and you hoarsely manage a “come in”. You remove the cucumbers from your eyes and rub them gently. Felix waddles in quietly and closes your door. He looks awkward and out of place, which isn’t something you witness often. He looks like he’s waiting for something. You then realize he’s waiting for you to remove your headphones. You do so quickly, placing them on the bed beside you.

“What’s up, Lix?” You start, staring at your bedsheets. He shakes his head gently.

“I just haven’t seen you all day. I was wondering how you were doing,” He clears his throat, shifting on his feet. You smile softly. Of course he wasn’t going to bring up what happened. You heard what he said at the cafe.

“It went well. Very mellow. I hung out with Delaney!” You mention, shifting your legs to the side. He smiles and sits at the edge of your bed.

“Gosh, I haven’t seen them in a while,” He looks up at your ceiling. You chuckle softly, fidgeting with the cucumbers in your hands.

“Yeah it was really nice. How about you?” You observe his face. Memories of his conversation with Chan flood your memory and you have to ground yourself so you don’t ask about it.

“I just hung out with Chan. He wanted to talk to me,” He avoids eye contact. You hum softly. The conversation fizzles and you’re left in an uncomfortable silence. He opens his mouth and it seems like it’s taking a lot in him to look at you. His eyes scan your face, he looks everywhere except your eyes as he talks.

“I can make us dinner tonight. We can have a nice night in before classes start back up tomorrow,” He offers. You blink back at him. And then his eyes finally settle on yours. You feel your heart thump softly in your chest before you find yourself nodding.

“I’d like that,” You flash him a smile. That awkward air from before seems to be dying down. With time, you think, it should dissipate entirely. He nods firmly, standing up and leaving.

Upon shutting the door, you flop back onto your pillows, your hands coming up to cover your face.

So you guys really weren’t going to talk about it.

Okay. Cool.

You just have to pull yourself together and forget it ever happened then. Move on; it was just a moment of weakness between the two of you.

You sigh heavily as you turn on your side.

If it was just a moment of weakness, then why do you feel like this? Like something is slipping away from you?

You shake your head and sit upright, deciding you need to clear your thoughts. Maybe helping Felix cook could help. Even if he was the reason you were feeling like this, you hoped he could be a distraction from your thoughts. Being around him more could help remove the image of him on top of you, breathless.

The image of him with his lips parted and swollen, looking at you like a piece of fine art was never going to leave your mind. But you could trick yourself into thinking it was.

“Lix, do you need any help?” You stumble into the kitchen, messing around with the sleeves of the cardigan you threw on. You watch him turn around and look you up and down briefly. He smiles softly.

“No but I’d love it if you kept me company,” He turns back around. You walk up to the fridge and grab a bottle of orange juice you had bought a few days prior and then you go to sit down at the table. You were expecting some kind of awkward silence but the sizzling noise of the pan in front of Felix was more than enough to keep him focused on it. It didn’t seem like he was paying all that much attention to you until he asked you a question.

“Changbin is inviting us over to his house for the weekend. Would you want to go?” He turns to you. You swallowed the juice in your mouth and brought a hand up to your lips. Now you’re playing the “is it my imagination or did that actually happen?” game as you watch Felix’s eyes linger on your lips. You push those thoughts down.

“Yeah, I’m down for that. Are we staying over?” You cap your juice, averting your gaze. Felix moves around the food on the pan as he answers.

“Yeah. He also said to bring a bathing suit.”

“Won’t it be cold, though?” You inquire. He chuckles.

“Rich people and their heated pools. I don’t know what else to say,” He throws you a teasing glance. You chuckle back, pulling your knees up onto your seat. You fold your arms over your knees and place your head on top of them, like a makeshift pillow.

“Okay I finished. I hope you’re fine with some fried rice because that may or may not be the only thing I could’ve made. We should go grocery shopping later this week,” Felix turns off the stove and turns to face you.

For a moment, you just look at each other. You watch the smile slowly fade from his face and he just blinks slowly at you. His eyes appear to be scanning your face but they never land on your eyes. They linger on your nose, cheeks, and lips. You’d give anything to know what he was thinking about right now.

Unfortunately for you, you were a tad bit too hungry to sit there and ponder any longer and your stomach decides to interrupt your staring contest. You cover your mouth as you giggle from embarrassment and Felix moves to get you a bowl.

Eating with Felix was always nice. It was serene and domestic, something you don’t feel too often. There was a calmness that washes over you as you eat a few bites of Felix’s food. His cooking never disappoints but for some reason, this meal was so much more comforting.

Once you finish the meal, you stand up and grab his bowl before he can say anything. He blinks up at you from behind your back. You wash the dishes quickly and dry them before turning back to him. He’s still observing you silently, chin resting on his palm. You’re taken aback by it but you don’t linger on it.

“I think I’m going to turn in early today. I have a morning class,” You mumble softly, leaning against the counter. He smiles softly.

“Yeah of course. I should do the same,” He stands up and you both walk silently to your rooms.

As you reach for your door handle, he calls your name. You turn to face him. His big eyes are shining as they look into yours for the first time tonight. It has your breath catching in your throat. His pretty lips part softly like he’s going to say something.

“...Goodnight,” He says, opening the door to his room. You observe his face for a moment before nodding.

“Goodnight, Felix.”

And you enter your room without another word. What a day.

Waking up the next morning, your eyes felt like they weighed 50 pounds. Classes were starting back up but at least you had something to look forward to during the weekend. You urge yourself to go to your classes. You can make it.

The week goes by surprisingly fast. Nothing much happened of importance in your classes. And you got full marks on your research project! You were over the moon. Felix came home as you were watching a series on the TV late at night. He hasn’t spoken to you much during the week and it was very clear that your dynamic with him changed, whether you wanted to admit that to yourself or not.

“Hey,” He breathlessly says as he shuffles in.

“Hi, Felix. How did your classes go today?” You pause the show. He stands up and fixes his hair as he exhales.

“Pretty good,” He responds quickly. You smile awkwardly, unsure of what to say next. You pull your legs closer to your body underneath your blankets.

He walks over to the couch and sits next to you. He throws his head back against it and he appears to be trying to get his breathing back under control.

“Lix, you okay?” You co*ck your head. He nods, shutting his eyes.

“Yeah I just ran home. I’m a little tired, that’s all,” He laughs breathlessly. Your eyes trace the side of his face and you gulp softly as you watch him breathe heavily. Your eyes are trained on his neck as he breathes and you observe a thin sheen of sweat on it. You pull your eyes away from his body and back to the TV.

“You wanna watch a movie?” You smile softly. It’s been a while since the two of you have watched a movie together. He picks up his head and glances at you. He returns your smile brightly.

“Yeah let me just go shower and get changed,” He stands up immediately and bolts into the bathroom.

After a good 15 minutes, he emerges from his room, hair wet and dripping. You stop scrolling on your phone when he sits back down beside you.

“Do you have a movie in mind?” He turns to you. You can smell his shampoo and it smells so nice. It smells like vanilla and lavender.

“I was in the mood for Disney,” You smile sheepishly. He grins back and you feel some of that lingering tension disappear.

“When are you not in the mood for Disney,” He chuckles.

“Fine. Let’s watch something like Marvel then,” You scroll to the marvel movies.

“Ooh let's do Age of Ultron!” He points it out and you start the movie. You curl up in your blanket even more and you bring it up to your chin. You see Felix gaze at you from the corner of your eyes and you wonder if he’s going to ask you for some like he always does.

But that’s not it. Felix is just observing you. He stands up and gets his own blanket before sitting down. That wasn’t something he ever did and you would be lying if you said you didn’t feel your heart twinge.

The movie continues with the two of you making jokes every so often and when it finally ends, Felix stretches beside you. He lets out a small noise and you feel yourself choking softly. He glances at you.

“We should make our bags for the weekend tonight,” He offers, pulling the blanket off of his chest.

“It’s a little late. But I’m sure we can manage,” You stand up, letting the blanket fall from your body. Felix’s eyes run up your body and his breath catches in his throat once he sees you’re wearing those lounge shorts that you really like. Unfortunately, or fortunately, for him, it leaves little room for his imagination and he stares at the curve of your butt. His eyes wander up towards your waist and hips as you fold the blanket and put it down. He tears his eyes away from your body and gulps, running a hand through his now damp hair.

“I’ll probably only see you tomorrow morning, right?” You turn back around towards him. His eyes snap up towards yours and you recognize the blush on his cheeks again. He nods slowly. You feel that tension settling over the two of you like a blanket but you decided to break it before it settled entirely.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight, Lix,” You give him a curt nod and stride off towards your room.

Why, why, was he looking at you like that again?

You press your back against the door and sigh heavily. Your heart beats rapidly in your chest. You slide down against the door and grunt once your body hits the floor. You wait for a moment longer and you hear his door shut softly.

There’s no time to dawdle, you think, pushing yourself off of the floor and towards your closet. Pulling out a small suitcase, you set it on your bed.

Packing for the weekend doesn’t take you long. You vaguely remember Felix telling you to pack a swimsuit so you throw in two; one bikini and one one-piece. 3 or 4 different outfits should suffice for just 2 days and a set of pajamas as well.

You find yourself smiling as you finish packing and zip up your suitcase. You were excited to spend the weekend with the guys! Even if you had only seen them a week ago, you already missed them.

~~

You groan softly as Felix shouts your name.

“Are you almost done?” He says at the front door.

“Yes! I’m just doing my hair!” You shout back from your room. Your hair just wasn’t cooperating this morning and you could’ve cried from frustration. You just decide to leave it as is. It doesn’t look too horrible and if it did, you could just steal one of Felix’s beanies.

The suitcase rolls quietly by your side as you approach the front door. Changbin’s house was quite a few hours away from the area so you were dressed in sweats and a regular crop top. Felix had a hoodie on and sweats as well. He has a suitcase and a backpack with him and he glances up at you as you stop by the door.

“You have everything you need?” He checks. You nod happily. “Awesome. Let's go!” and you set off towards Felix’s car.

The drive up didn’t feel like 4 hours. In the car, you were able to talk to Felix like normal and you smiled as you felt your friendship with him return. You and Felix did some karaoke and you even napped.

Your jaw drops as Felix pulls into a luxurious driveway. It’s like you are being slapped in the face with Changbin’s wealth. There were 2 other cars (that you assumed belong to your friends) in the driveway and Felix parks behind one of them.

“Jesus f*ck,” You mutter, looking out of your window. Felix laughs next to you as he kills the engine.

“I know, right?” He steps out of the car and stretches loudly. You follow him, your jaw still slack. Felix gathers your things and hands you your suitcase. You thank him quietly.

He leads you to the front door and you seriously think that if he wasn’t there with you, you wouldn’t have been able to find the door on your own.

The double doors to the house are massive and you gawk at them as Felix rings the doorbell. Changbin opens the door with a drink in his hand already. It was barely 2pm.

“Welcome, welcome! Hope the trip was nice,” He beams, opening the door a little wider to let you and Felix slip inside.

“Thanks for the invite, Changbin,” You turn and smile back towards him. He takes a sip from his drink and waves a hand in front of his chest.

“Of course! You two will be sharing a room, by the way. I hope you don’t mind,” He quickly says, walking away and turning towards a long hallway. You take in the mansion as he leads you and Felix to what you assume is your room for the weekend.

“This is your room,” He smiles and gestures towards the door. “Most of the guys are already here and we’re chilling outside in the pool. So feel free to change into your swimsuits and join us.”

“Thanks, Bin,” Felix smiles and Changbin walks away.

The room is massive. It’s easily double the size of your room and your jaw drops once again as you walk in. A king sized bed lays in the center of the lavish room and you stare at it for a moment. You haven’t shared a bed with Felix in over a week and you now feel nervous.

“Do you want to change in here? I can go into the bathroom,” Felix’s voice pulls you from your thoughts and you turn towards him. You feel yourself flush softly at his question.

“Yeah I’ll change in here,” You rub the back of your neck softly but Felix just nods and drops to his knees in front of his luggage. You decide to follow his lead and open yours too. This time, you won’t be asking him for his opinion on your outfit.

He leaves you alone to change and you instantly change into your bikini. It was purple, your favorite color and you absolutely adored it. You put on another crop top you had packed and some shorts on and you grabbed your phone. A thought suddenly crosses your mind and you whip your body back around to grab your towel.

Once you leave your room, you’re hit face to face with Felix coming out of the bathroom in his swim trunks and a different t-shirt.

“Shall we go?” He smiles and offers you his hand. Your heart flips at the gesture and you take it, smiling back. He squeezes your hand gently and you almost go weak in the knees.

“Lix, do you know where the backyard is?” You ask as you wander through the massive house.

“I have an idea of where it is,” He says while glancing around. You smile at him and you continue searching around the mansion.

The echoing sound of laughter gets louder as you walk forward and that sounded pretty promising to you. Finally, you arrive at the large, sliding glass doors that leads you outside and you slide it open.

Outside is almost as lavish as the inside. For starters, you have to walk down a little path to actually reach the pool area. And the area you walk down is rich with plants, flowers, and trees. You even spot a few marble statues here and there.

The pool itself was massive. It was complete with a water slide! You smiled brightly as you saw the guys all around the pool. It seems like while you and Felix changed, the rest of them arrived. Han was the first to notice your guys’ arrival and he shouted from the top of the waterslide.

“Hey guys!” He smiles brightly. You wave back at him and Felix leads you over to the pool chairs.

“Nice of you two to join us,” Changbin says from his chair. Honestly, he looks so attractive right now. You have to get a grip. But the way you can see his muscles under his button down is doing things to you. The way he’s manspreading lets you see his thigh muscles as well and you’re suddenly grateful that today was a warmer autumn day.

“Bin, your house is incredible,” You say, speechless, as you sit down on the chair next to him.

“I’m glad you like it,” He flashes you a smile as he sips on his drink from a coconut cup.

“Are you guys coming in?” Jeongin shouts from the shallow end with Han hanging on to him.

“I am!” Felix shouts back and you turn to see him take off his shirt. You can feel yourself staring intensely at him as he folds his shirt and puts it with his stuff. Felix shoots a glance your way and you expect him to say something witty as always but it never comes.

Okay then.

All he does is avert his gaze and he runs and jumps into the pool.

“Did something happen between the two of you?” Changbin asks and you snap your head as you turn to him.

“Why? Did he say anything?” You question. He smirks and chuckles lightly.

“It just seems like something is different between the two of you,” He swirls his drink. “And based on your reaction, something did happen.”

You groan internally. “Well..,” You pause, turning your attention towards the sky.

“Mhm?” He urges with a hum.

“We kissed, I guess,” You reveal. His eyebrows shoot up his forehead.

“For real?”

You nod, folding your hands in between your thighs.

“With tongue?”

You stare at him with wide eyes and your jaw opens and closes like a pufferfish. You feel the blush creeping back up your neck again.

“I…yeah.”

“Damn, congrats!” He laughs. “How are you guys now?” He asks.

“I don’t know. It’s definitely a little awkward. We haven’t talked about it and I don’t think we will, actually. I have a feeling he doesn’t want to,” You shoot Felix a glance in the water. He’s having a chicken fight with Jeongin and he’s perched on Hyunjin’s shoulders.

“Yeah I could see that. Maybe this weekend you could get around it?” He offers.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning nothing, actually. Really, I’m just saying,” He says sincerely. He removes his sunglasses and sets his drink down on the little table beside him. You think about his words for a few moments.

“Hey, if you think about it too much, you won’t be able to have fun. Let’s go for a swim,” He smiles and starts unbuttoning his shirt. And he’s right. You might as well ponder your dilemma with Felix later. Right now, you just want to have some fun with your friends.

“Yeah you’re right,” You stand up with him. He slips off the shirt and places it on top of his towel and he turns to you. He seems to be waiting for you to undress.

However, you suddenly feel self conscious, which wasn’t something you felt often. You console yourself by saying none of the guys would care or are paying attention to you at this moment. With a deep breath, you remove your shirt and you feel the wind nip at your exposed skin. You unbutton your shorts and slide out of them as well.

Once you finish, you turn back around to face Changbin with an arm over your stomach. He seems to be staring at you and he breaks out into a smile.

“You look nice in that color,” Is all he says before he starts walking towards the edge of the pool. You smile to yourself as you follow him. As you walk, you seem to capture the attention of the guys finally and you feel all of them trail you with their eyes. Changbin stops near the edge and he leans towards your ear.

“My sister is home right now. If you feel uncomfortable being the only girl here, I can call her out. She’d be more than happy to keep you company,” He offers. You look at him and you feel so warm at the offer. That’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever offered to you.

“No, I’m fine. But you can still call her out if you want,” You smile brightly at him as he moves to the deepest part of the pool. He nods and then jumps into the pool. Some of the guys face the splash that he made but others are still looking at you. You feel really warm under their gazes and you suddenly feel small. Opting to just dip your feet in for now, you look into the clear, blue water. You see Felix approach you as you sit and he smiles.

“Is that a new swimsuit?” His eyes briefly rake over your chest but you don’t mind it this time.

“Yeah, I bought it a few months ago. What do you think?” You sheepishly ask as you swirl your legs in the water. Felix’s lips part as he tries to say something.

“You look really good,” He breathes out. You feel flustered as you accept the compliment. Felix pulls himself out of the water slightly and rests his elbows next to you.

“You’re coming in right?” He asks, looking up at you. You nod as you lean back on your hands. “Can you help me get out? I need to check my phone,” Felix moves in front of you and extends a hand out. You grab onto it strongly as you start to pull him out.

Before you can even move, Felix plants his feet on the pool wall and tugs, but really tugs. And you’re yelping loudly as he pulls you into the pool. You feel yourself collide with your chest as you enter the water. Water engulfs your entire body.

Felix is laughing as he secures an arm around your waist and helps you come up for air. You gasp as you wipe your eyes. You hear a few others laughing around you. Felix is holding onto the pool wall to prevent the two of you from drowning and it's then that you can feel the warmth of his arm around your bare waist. You have no choice but to hang on to his shoulders as you try to keep yourself afloat.

“You’re an ass,” You laugh breathlessly. His loud laughter transforms into quiet giggles as he opens his eyes and faces you.

“How else were you going to get in?” He asks.

“Jumping? Walking in through the shallow? The slide?” You list all the possibilities.

“Yeah but this way was faster,” He says cheekily as he pulls you closer. You sputter softly as you feel his thigh brush yours.

Too close. Way too close.

His bare chest was almost brushing against yours and you move your hands to rest on his pecs. You push on them gently as you blush and he seems to get the hint. His hand doesn’t leave your waist, though. And you can feel him flex his fingers underwater.

Chris suddenly calls yours and Felix’s names. “You guys want to play a round of chicken?”

You glance at Felix and he looks back at you. He co*cks his head towards Chris and you nod. He swims over to him and you follow close behind.

“Do you guys want to be a team? Or do you want to be on my team?” Chan asks you. Felix immediately wraps an arm around your waist again.

“The only correct choice is that we’re teammates,” He sticks his tongue out and makes the decision for you. Chan nods.

“Sure. Maybe Hyunjin will want to be my teammate.”

“Oh hell yes I do!” He shouts from across the pool. Chris laughs as he swims over quickly. “I get to sit on your shoulders right?” Chris nods and he goes underwater to help him sit easier.

Felix turns to you and shifts his hand from your waist to your hand. “I won’t drop you,” He smiles and mirrors Chan’s action. You take a deep breath and sit on top of his shoulders. You feel a little unsteady as he stands up and you slide forward a little. His hands grasp your thighs, just above your knee and your heart pounds. The action has you remembering that he likes your thighs. Which you found out just a week ago.

“Alright. I’m sure we’re all familiar with the rules so just start whenever,” Chan says, stepping forward. You see Hyunjin make grabby hands towards you and Felix steps forward as well.

You make contact with Hyunjin’s hands and you grab them hard and start pushing. You tense your thighs around Felix’s head and you feel him stumble underneath you. You remove your hands from Hyunjin and place them on his head briefly.

“Steady, Felix. I can knock him over,” You say as he regains his balance. You hear him chuckle darkly as he approaches Bang Chan and Hyunjin at a pretty fast pace. Hyunjin’s eyes widen as you smirk and collide your hands with his. The action sends him reeling backwards but he saves himself due to his core strength.

“Aim for his shoulders!” Han yells from the side. You laugh loudly as Hyunjin shakes his head wildly. It’s basically a checkmate now. You have him where you want him. Felix pushes forward again and you push strongly against his shoulders. He tries pushing against your stomach but it only makes you giggle and he falls back into the water.

Felix cheers from below you as he watches him splash down and Chan groans in defeat. Felix leans backwards and allows you to slide down his shoulders. He high-fives you and wraps you in a tight hug.

“We took them down!” He cheers. You laugh against his chest. The spectators around you all cheer as well. You wade over towards Hyunjin and you stick out a hand to him.

“Good game,” You smirk victoriously. He gives you a very over the top roll of his eyes and he reluctantly shakes your hand. Chris comes up to you from your side and smiles.

“Good game indeed. You’re lucky Felix is steady on his feet,” He laughs and pulls you into a hug as well. His firm chest hits yours and you tense a little in his hold. When he releases you, you stumble back and hit Felix’s chest. He places his hands on your shoulders and just smiles down at you.

Seungmin calls you from the bottom of the slide and you turn towards him.

“You haven’t gone down the slide yet!” He calls, cupping a hand around his mouth.

“I’ll be there in a sec!” You shout back. You turn back towards Felix and grab his hand. “Let’s go on the slide!”

After a few hours in the pool, you start feeling cold. But you all are having such a good time that you don’t want to leave. Changbin seems to notice you’re cold, however, and he swims up to you.

“We have a hot tub, if you want to go in,” He offers.

“Of course you do,” You roll your eyes playfully but you end up smiling. “I am feeling a bit cold, though. Where is it?” You scan the area trying to find it. He points in the direction away from the pool. You spot a little pathway but you can’t see the hot tub.

“If you go in that direction, you’ll hit it. It’s already warmed up and everything,” He drops his arm and you walk over to the shallow end after thanking him.

The towel you had laid out was warm from its sunbathing and you wrap it around your body and pick up your phone before hobbling off down the stone path.

You spot a little outhouse it seems at the end of the path. But of course, because you’re at a mansion, it’s just just an outhouse. It’s an extravagant room that holds a hot tub in the center. It’s massive, smaller than the pool, but way larger than the average hot tub. Your jaw drops as you look at it.

You waste no time in setting your stuff down onto a chair and sliding into the tub. You sigh happily as the hot water pierces your skin and you sink in. Spotting the control panel for the jets, you hurry and turn them on. You sit down in front of one and the vibrations of it hit your back, relaxing your muscles immediately. Your head lulls backwards against the edge of the tub and you close your eyes.

You might’ve fallen asleep if it wasn’t for the noise someone made as they entered the outhouse. You sleepily pry your eyes open to see your companion.

Felix.

“You look like you’re enjoying yourself” He says, his deep voice hitting your ears just right. You nod sleepily. He giggles at you. “Did you know you can change the light setting in here?” He drops his stuff next to yours and makes his way to the panel you were at before. You raise your head to observe what he’s doing.

Felix moves to close the door to the outhouse before returning to the panel. He presses a few buttons on it and the lights dim and change into a mix of pinks and purples. He smiles as he looks up at them and they just light up his face. He looks radiant in the light.

“Mind if I join you?” His voice comes out low and you feel something pool in the pit of your stomach.

“Not at all,” You look up at him. He wades in and makes his way over to you. He moans softly as he rests against the jet next to you. The sound of bubbles is the only thing you’re listening to.

“Changbin said you were coming here alone and I thought you might want some company,” He clears his throat, catching your attention.

“Yeah I’d like that,” You smile softly. The steam rising from the water is making your face red. The lights around you only adds to the ambiance but you can’t help but feel that tension from that night.

One quick glance at Felix and you knew he was feeling exactly the same as you. You swallow the lump in your throat as you try to not let yourself feel anything.

“Are they guys coming in here anytime soon?” You ask. You might as well talk to him since he’s right next to you. But you then realize your choice of words and what they could be implying and you feel yourself flush even more. Felix seems to choke on air and he’s staring intently on the surface of the water.

“No, I don’t think so. They’re still horsing around in the pool,” His voice cracks and he winces.

The tension was so thick, you swear you could cut it with a knife. Sweat was collecting on your chest as you start to feel the moisture settle. Felix turns to face you from where he’s sitting and you turn your head to look at him.

His big eyes are staring at you in a way you could only describe as wonder. Your stomach twisted uncomfortably with a sensation you weren’t familiar with. You see him lick his lips and you almost whine. Christ, you almost whine. You gulp as you watch his eyes wander over your upper body. You know that your chest is rising and falling rapidly. And with the lack of clothes, you were totally exposed to him.

But the same goes for him. You can also see the quick rise and fall of his chest. You bring your eyes back up to his and he meets you halfway. It might just be your imagination, but is he closer to you now? You swear he wasn’t this close when you were looking at his chest. Your breathing comes in shallow spurts now.

“Felix?” You whisper softly as you see him actually move in closer towards you. He hums softly as his brown eyes glaze over. The water moves around him as he hesitantly reaches for you. Your fingers twitch as he grabs them. You feel yourself leaning in subconsciously. Your breathing catches in your throat as he pulls you closer to him. His nose brushes yours and you gasp softly. The deafening sound of the water shooting out of the jets thankfully adds to the otherwise silence between the two of you.

Felix’s breath is hot on your lips but he doesn’t make a move to kiss you. To your surprise, he ends up pulling away a little and you tremble at the loss of contact. You blink rapidly, trying to keep up with what’s going on. But of course, Felix doesn’t give you a moment to think. He puts his hands back on your waist again and barely lifts you out of the water. You keep your eyes trained on his as he moves you to sit in his lap.

In his lap.

Your breathing pace increases tenfold when he pulls you closer by your hips but you really lose it when his right hand grips the underside of your thigh and pulls you close. Your knees are caging his legs below you. His head is hung low in the direction of your chest and he seems to be observing how close the two of you are now. He squeezes your thigh gently and you gasp softly above him. You put your hands back on his chest in the same place they were when he pulled you into the pool. His heart pulses below your hand at a thundering pace.

Because of your proximity, when Felix turns his head upwards, his lips brush yours so softly you think you hallucinated the feeling and you gasp softly. You pull away gently and you just stare at his eyes. His mesmerizing brown eyes that seem to be pulling you into him. You felt like if you stared at them for too long, you would sink into them like quicksand.

All good things come to an end, unfortunately. The bubble that engulfed you and Felix suddenly popped as you heard voices right outside of the outhouse. It has you coming back to reality at a record-breaking speed. You push yourself out of Felix’s lap and back to your seat as the door swings open. You do your best to get your flustered state in control and you see Felix struggling to do the same.

What the f*ck just happened?

You don’t have time to think as Han and Chris walk in giggling.

“Oh hey! We were wondering where the two of you went,” Chan says with a bright smile. You just smile back at him.You suddenly stand up, the steam making you feel like you’re suffocating. Chris calls your name as you quickly get your things and move towards the door. You don’t dare look back at Felix.

“Sorry, I think I’m gonna go shower. I don’t feel really well right now,” You explain quickly, bolting out of the doors.

Once you’re back in the safe haven of your shared room with Felix, you fight the urge to scream. You were so confused. You couldn’t control your thoughts as they swam in your head. Maybe a warm shower would be the best option right now. So that’s what you opt for.

When you get out of the shower, you almost run into another girl.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going,” You profusely apologize. She shakes her head quickly.

“No no, that was my fault. Don’t worry about it,” She returns. You blink up at her. Gosh, she’s stunning.

“Are you Changbin’s sister?” You blurt. She looks at you with a smile.

“Guilty as charged. I’m assuming you’re that girl he said was coming over this weekend, right? The one who’s roommates with Felix?” She guesses. You smile.

“Yeah that’s me,” You say and you introduce yourself.

“Gosh you have such a pretty name,” She gushes. You flush slightly.

“Ah thank you,” You shift your weight on your knees.

“I hope the guys didn’t cause you any trouble or make you uncomfortable. They all feel like younger brothers to me so I typically know how to deal with them,” She says as she motions for you to follow her.

“No, they're all super nice towards me. They don’t really try anything..,” You trail off after the last sentence.

“Sounds like maybe one of them tried something with you,” She shoots you a smirk over her shoulder.

“I…well… it’s complicated,” You scratch the back of your neck as she leads you into the largest kitchen you’ve ever seen. She opens the fridge and turns to you.

“I’m always down to listen.” She smiles as she grabs a soda from the fridge and tosses one to you. “I’m always down for a girls chat.”

“I don’t want to bother you with it,” You say as you catch the drink. You thank her before cracking it open.

“Oh my god, don’t even worry about that. I love talking about this,” She leans over the counter and slurps on her soda. She makes a noise and smacks her hand against the counter.

“Let’s chat in the living room. It’s much more comfortable there,” She jogs towards the main living room and you trail behind her.

At this point, you just stop being shocked at the size of Changbin’s house and you just sit with her on the massive couch.

“So… which one is it?” She smirks, sipping her soda.

“If you really wanna know…” And then you spill just about everything to her. She turns out to be a really easy person to talk to and you click immediately.

You lose track of the time as you laugh about something she says. You guys must’ve been talking for maybe an hour. She really listened closely when you told her about what was happening between you and Felix.

You both are laughing uncontrollably as the ensemble of men come into the living room. Han calls your name.

“We were looking everywhere for you,” He says as he rounds the corner of the couch.

“Yeah I didn’t know you became friends with my sister,” Changbin adds in a surprised tone.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t know you guys were looking for me,” You keep your eyes trained on the cushions as Felix comes into your line of sight.

“No worries. We were going to watch a movie here anyway. You’re joining us, right?” Minho says as he sits on the couch. You nod. Changbin’s sister moves beside you and stands up.

“Well, I’ll let you guys be. Seems like I stole your girl for a little too long,” She sends you a wink and you giggle softly. She ruffles Changbin’s hair before turning to you all.

“Goodnight, guys,” She kisses the top of his head and strolls off in the direction of her room. The rest of the group files in and sits on the couch. You decide to get cozy in between Minho and Jeongin as Changbin selects the movie.

You fall asleep against Minho’s shoulder by the time the movie ends. You can feel someone wrap an arm under your legs and under your back as they pick you up. Waking up slightly, you can make out a few words.

“.....Do you need help?....”

“....Coming back?.....Okay,”

“..Goodnight, you two…,”

You can only assume that the person carrying you is Felix.

“Lix?” You sleepily mumble as you rub your eyes.

“Yeah it’s me. Don’t worry. Let’s go to sleep,” He murmurs so softly. You hum in his arms, resting your head against his chest.

His strength never ceases to impress you as he opens the door to your room with one arm.

“Are you okay with sleeping in the clothes you have on now?” He quietly asks as he sets you down on the bed. You sleepily moan and nod as you sit.

“Okay come here,” He grunts as he picks you up again and puts you under the covers. He slides under immediately after and you barely register his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you in close. The warmth of it on your bare waist wakes you up slightly. But you don’t care this time. He was so, so warm. He sighs happily above you and you wiggle closer against him.

“This is nice,” You mumble against his shirt. You feel him smile against your hair.

The sense of security that Felix’s arms are providing right now, could make you cry. You just relish in it as you drift off to sleep. But not before you feel him pull you even closer to him and kiss the top of your head.

Chapter 8: Enclosed spaces

Chapter Text

You woke up with a start in the middle of the night. Your chest rises and falls quickly as you feel your hair stick to your forehead with sweat. Felix was wide awake beside you and he props himself up as soon as you shoot up. Your name on his tongue sounds so far away. It’s like you’re underwater. And you’re only brought back to the surface when he places a hand on your back.

“Woah, hey, what’s going on?” He’s sitting up beside you, eyebrows creased with concern. His eyes drift over your body as you turn towards him. Your trembling hand raises itself and wipes the sweat off of your forehead.

“A bad dream, that’s all,” Your shaky voice comes out. The hand on your shoulder tenses. Felix shifts his body to face yours as you hold your face in your hands.

“What can I do to help?” His soft voice is a melody in your ears. His hand moves open and down your back comfortingly. You raise your head, breathing still shaky and quick.

Instead of verbalizing your thoughts, you just lean into him, dropping your entire body weight on top of his chest. He grunts softly as he braces against his pillows. He lays back down on the bed with an arm around you and he sighs softly. The shaky vibrations of your breathing slow down but you still feel yourself trembling uncontrollably.

“Thanks, Lix,” Your voice cracks as you whisper.

“Of course. I’ve never seen you have a panic attack like this,” He murmurs as he pulls you closer against him. You whine softly against him.

“It’ll pass in a few minutes,” You mumble, laying a hand on his chest and grasping his shirt. He nods back against the pillows.

“You can go back to sleep once it passes. It’s only 2 in the morning,” He whispers. He takes his left hand and places it on top of yours and squeezes. The endearing action has you calming down at a faster pace.

Waking up in Felix’s arms again for the first time in a while has your stomach churning. The feeling of his fingers against your waist and his chest against your back is a feeling you’re never getting over. His warm breath tickled your neck as you weasel your way out of his arms.

Quickly patting down your bed head to a presentable look, you creep out of your bedroom with Felix. In the vast kitchen, a few of them were already awake. Changbin was cooking something on the stove as Chan and Minho sat at the island with a mug in front of both of them. Minho’s head looks up as he watches you enter. He smiles and calls your name, pulling out a stool for you to sit beside him.

“Good morning,” Chan says as you slump onto the stool. You mumble back a good morning, blinking awake. “Did you sleep well?”

“I bet she did,” Minho grins behind his mug, bringing it up to his lips and taking an obnoxious sip from it. You turn to him, still groggy, and make a confused face.

“Huh?”

“You seemed all cozy in Felix’s arms when we went to check on you both.”

A blush creeped up behind your neck as you scratched it. Chan gave a little giggle beside you as he also took a sip from his cup.

“It’s normal for us to sleep like that,” You mumble as you turn your gaze to the marble counter.

“Ah, yeah my bad. I just thought things would’ve been awkward after what happened,” Minho sets his cup down.

“After….what happened?” You echo with wide eyes. Did Felix tell all of them that you kissed?

“Yeah. Even though it was a few weeks ago, I’m sure you both remember the hickey you gave him, no?” God, Minho was shameless. You cleared your throat as you fought the blush from appearing on your cheeks.

“We uh, we talked it out. It was just a dare,” You smile softly.

“Damn, really? If I were him, I would’ve used that opportunity to pounce,” Minho slumps beside you. Chan reaches behind you and smacks him on the shoulder. “Hey! I’m just being honest.”

You blink once at him as you watch him rub his shoulder.

“Don’t pay attention to him. I’m glad you guys were able to not let that change your friendship,” Changbin says as he approaches the island with a plate of bacon and sausages. Minho eagerly reaches for a piece of bacon before Changbin even sets down the plate.

“Me too. I was a little worried it would be awkward. But, we were able to return to the way we were before,” You sit up in your seat, now more awake.

“So, forgive me for asking, but, nothing else happened in that department?” Changbin eyes you as he takes a piece of bacon for himself. The silence is deafening as they wait for your response. Chan shifts beside you as he chugs his juice. You stare at him for a moment before responding.

“No, nothing at all.”

And you hope he can’t see the way your blush deepens as you recall the kiss.

He simply shrugs as he pushes the plate towards you and Chan. Chan reaches for a piece of sausage and sets it on his napkin.

“Do we have any plans for today, Changbin?” He changes the subject. Changbin thinks for a moment.

“Yeah! I was thinking of going night swimming since we didn’t stay in the pool after sunset yesterday.” He chews for a moment before swallowing. “But I don’t really have any plans for the afternoon.”

“I wonder if we could just explore your house. I haven’t been here in ages,” Minho says. He stands up from his seat and walks over to the coffee machine to pour himself another cup.

“Oh Minho, could you get me a cup as well?” You call out to him and he nods.

“Customize it however you want. Bin has a lot of things you can add to it,” He says as he slides you a mug.

“Do you have almond milk by chance?” You look up at Changbin as you grasp the steaming mug between your palms.

“Yeah it’s somewhere in the fridge. Feel free to take what you want from it, by the way,” He motions in the direction of the fridge.

“Changbin, where can I get ice?” You sheepishly turn around as you stand in front of the fridge.

“We have trays in the freezer. It’s below the fridge,” He directs. You thank him quietly as you search for the trays. There were quite a few of them. Some of them were shapes. You giggled quietly as you picked the tray with flower ice cubes and brought them over to the island. You crack the tray and pop 4 cubes into your drink.

“God, I don’t understand how you can like that,” Chan’s nose scrunches as you move back to the island with a carton of almond milk in your hand.

“Don’t knock it till you try it, Channie,” You keep your gaze trained on your glass as you pour some on top.

“She’s got that right,” A scratchy voice comes from the hallway as a new person enters the kitchen. You don’t even have to look up to see who it is. When you set the carton down, you can’t help but smile as he makes his way over to you.

“Morning, Felix,” Minho covers his smirk with his mug. He hums softly. He reaches down from behind you and grabs your cup. You decide to hold your tongue as he takes a sip and his reaction is priceless. His face curls into one of disgust and he smacks his lips a few times, trying to get rid of the taste.

“Yeah I haven’t added sugar to it yet,” You grab the cup from his hands as he shudders. He coughs as he rushes to grab a cup of water.

“That’s one hell of a way to wake up,” He grumbles before chugging the water. The four of you at the island laugh as he trudges back. Changbin had stood up and grabbed you the sugar from the counter and you were currently stirring your drink as Felix approached you again. He set a hand down on your hair as he scratched your scalp gently. His other hand settled on your shoulder.

The way Felix was still so warm from being underneath the covers had you feeling a little sleepy. The heat radiated off of him and it sunk into your back as he stood there. Changbin was looking up at Felix as you all were apparently waiting for his next move.

“Did you end up sleeping well after you woke up?” He asks sweetly. You nod your head against his head. He ruffles your hair as he moves away and sits beside Chan.

“You woke up in the middle of the night?” Changbin peers at you as he takes a bite of his food. You nod softly, taking a sip of your coffee.

“Yeah. I just had a bad dream, that’s all,” You smile softly. Changbin nods his head in understanding. You look over to your side to see Chan observing your drink. You glance down at it and back at him.

“If you want to try some, you can,” You push the cup towards him. He picks it up and inspects it some more. He turns the cup towards his lips and takes a sip. His lip curls back immediately as he returns it to you.

“Yeah, no. That’s definitely not for me,” He coughs. You and Minho laugh. You catch Felix’s eye beside Chan and you extend the offer to him as well. He gratefully takes the cup and takes a couple sips from it.

“Changbin, these are fresh coffee beans aren’t they?” He hums as he puts the cup down. He nods as he chews.

“Yeah my sister likes to use ‘em,” He responds.

“Thank god for your sister, then,” Felix groans happily.

“I’ll tell her you said that.” He grins. “Do you guys want anything else to eat? We have tons of food.” Felix and Chan start making requests immediately and Changbin’s face drops.

As you all continue talking, and Changbin keeps cooking, the rest of the guys stumble in sleepily. Discussions were made about what each wanted to do today and by the look of things, you assumed you were just going to have another chill day in Changbin’s massive house.

“I’ve got it! We need to play hide and seek in here,” Minho leaps up from his stool.

“No, I swear to god one of you guys are going to break something,” He shuts him down immediately.

“Aww no I promise we won’t! Right, guys?” Minho sends a look over towards Hyunjin and Felix. Hyunjin pauses with his chopsticks halfway into his mouth and Felix blinks back at him. Minho clears his throat and raises his eyebrows. The two of them immediately chime in with how they wouldn’t break anything. Changbin eyes them and sighs.

“Yeah, fine.” He reluctantly says. All of them practically jump with joy. “Go get dressed while I clean up after you pigs.” They don’t need to be told twice as they practically teleport back into their rooms. You stay behind and help Changbin clear the island.

“You don’t have to stay. Go and get dressed,” He glances over as you place your plate and cup in the sink.

“No, it's fine. There’s a lot of dishes and it’ll go faster with the two of us,” You smile as you grab a sponge.

“If you insist,” He grabs the rest of the plates before joining you and grabbing his own sponge.

The dishes were done in less than 8 minutes and you step into your room to change. Felix was changed and ready to go and he laid on the bed on his phone. He was just wearing some jeans and a shirt that was french-tucked into his pants. He glances up as you walk in and he quietly watches you as you pick out your clothes.

“I’ll let you change in here,” He murmurs quietly as he slides off the bed. You almost forgot he was here and you turned as he left the room. At least you didn’t undress in front of him. You shake the thoughts away as you pull your shirt over your head and pull on a crop top. You had a few ideas as to where you wanted to hide so you didn’t want to sweat excessively. A crop top and denim shorts would do you well.

The rest of the guys were already in the living room when you joined them. It sounded like they were discussing who was going to be “it.”

“I’m telling you we should do bubblegum bubblegum!”

“No, you idiot, that takes too long. Just make Changbin the first person who seeks.”

“Why me??”

“Because it’s your house?”

“Oh..”

“No, I think we should just do nose goes.”

You plop down beside Jeongin on the couch as you observe them bicker. He’s one of the only ones not giving his input and you were grateful for the silence.

“Alright, fine! I’ll be the seeker then,” Changbin shouts from his seat.

“What are the boundaries?” You lean forward to take a look at Changbin.

“Anywhere is free game,” He sighed sadly. “Just try not to hide anywhere that’s hard to access for either of us. So stay in closets or cabinets or things similar to those. I don’t want to have to search my entire house.”

“To make it fair, how about whoever gets found, also joins Changbin as a seeker?” Seungmin suggests as he stands up. A ripple of agreement passes over everyone.

“Okay, I’m giving you all 3 minutes to hide!” Changbin unlocks his phone and sets a timer. The rest wait anxiously as he takes a seat on the couch and grabs an eye mask. He takes one last look at the group and pulls the mask down and starts the timer.

The group scrambles; some go right, some go left, and some go up. You have the disadvantage of not knowing where the best places are since this is your first time here. But you don’t let the thought rattle you. Hide and seek was always easy for you. As you pause for a second to think, your phone buzzes in your pocket with a text from Felix.

Lix <3: Idk if you know, but this is hide and seek tag. Changbin has to tag you for you to be found. So run fast if he sees you and if you can. Stay alive! <3

You chuckle as you put your phone away. The best course of action here, of course, is to hide near a room where Changbin is going to check first, and then run inside when he leaves.

You find a secure hiding spot in one of the hallways behind a loveseat and you dive behind it as you hear Changbin yell across the entire house.

“Time's up! I’m coming now.”

You hear his footsteps tread down the hallway you’re in and you hold your breath. The sound of a door opening piques your interest and you peer out from behind the loveseat to see what room he’s checking. It looks like a guest room that wasn’t occupied by anyone.

He seems to be checking it thoroughly and after about 5 minutes of looking, the door opens again and he leaves. You let out a breathless giggle as he passes you again and runs down towards the kitchen and living room.

Creeping out from your hiding spot slowly, you dash into the room and close the door as quietly as you can. You spot a closet in the corner of the lavish room and you pull yourself inside. It’s rather small for such a large room but it’s cozy. You can definitely stay there for a while.

After not even 10 minutes of being in the closet, your phone chimes again with a text from Felix:

Lix <3: Minho was found!

You giggle quietly as you like his message. Of course Minho is the first one found. A thought crosses your head and you turn your phone on “do not disturb” so your hiding spot isn’t given away.

A commotion is heard outside of the room after a few minutes of silence and you can hear the echoing footsteps of someone running down the hall. They must be an idiot to run on the heels of their feet like that, you think with a giggle.

And then the door to the room you’re in opens and slams shut. The person inside is panting and you can only assume they’re looking for a place to hide. You open the closet door slightly. When you see Felix doubled over and laughing breathlessly, you call out to him.

“Felix! Come here or they’re going to find both of us,” You whisper-shout. He whirls around and looks at you. You beckon him over quickly as you hear someone running down the hall, looking for him.

He wastes no time in sprinting inside the closet and you move over to let him inside and you shut the closet door. He’s still panting as the door swings open. His breathing was so loud that you shoved your hand against his mouth to muffle it. Because of the enclosed space you two were in, you pressed almost chest to chest with him.

You could barely see his brown eyes widening in the darkness but you held a finger to your lips and begged him silently.

“He can’t be here, Minho. I already checked this room,” Changbin’s voice comes closer as he steps into the room. You hold your breath as you try not to move.

“I could’ve sworn I saw him run in here,” Minho breathes out and turns and locks eyes with the closet. You gulp as you hear him step closer.

“No, don't worry about it. We’ll find him soon,” Changbin tugs on his arm to leave the room. Minho keeps his eyes transfixed on the closet as he leaves.

Your hand lingers over Felix’s mouth for a few more moments to insure that you’re both in the clear. Once you are, you slowly remove your hand from him and you let out a breath you didn’t realize were holding. Felix’s breathing was still a little unsteady as he caught his.

“I would’ve never forgiven you if you had gotten me found as well,” You whisper as you shift around to put some space between the two of you. Well, as much as you could manage. With just a small step back, your back collided with the wall of the closet.

He giggles softly as his breathing evens out. “Yeah but I didn’t, right?”

You just grumble in response. A quiet vibration sounds from both of your phones and you quickly open it up to see what was going on. Changbin had sent a message to everyone:

Changbin: New rule: If the seekers see you, you’re caught. No matter what. Also in a few minutes, the boundary is going to shrink and anyone outside of it has to move. You can hide, but you can’t run, bitches!

Pocketing your phone, you glance up towards Felix as you watch him put his away as well.

“Guess you pissed them off a little too much, huh?” You smile softly.

“I had them sprint from outside to the inside so, yeah,” He says proudly.

“I hope the boundary doesn’t shrink too much,” You think out loud. Realistically, it probably won’t. Your best bet was that he was just going to close off one part of the house, like the outside.

“I think we’re fine.” He breathes out. “Thanks for hiding me, by the way. I probably would’ve been found if you didn’t call out to me,” He looks down at you. Your head shakes softly.

“Don’t worry about it. But now we’re stuck here for the remainder of the game.”

Oh f*ck.

You certainly didn’t think this through. For the rest of the game, you now have to stand with Felix in this small closet. With zero room to move. Because if he moves at all, you’re going to be flush against him.

You clear your throat awkwardly as you have this realization. If Felix realizes this, he doesn’t do anything to let you know. All he seems to be doing is trying to move around to create more space in between the both of you but to no avail. There’s no room for space.

“How long have you been standing in here for?” He suddenly asks.

“I don’t know. Maybe a few minutes short of 10? It wasn’t for too long,” You quietly respond.

“Can I do something?”

You pause.

“Sure.”

There’s another beat.

And then you watch his silhouette move. It appears to be sinking down into the dark abyss of the closet. His shoes prod gently against your shins as you try to watch what he’s doing and you step out of his way.

Once you see his shadow stop moving, and you’re standing at an awkward angle to avoid standing on his legs, he looks up at you. His hand moves through the darkness and you struggle to see what the motion is.

He’s not suggesting what you think he’s suggesting.

Right?

A small tug downwards on your hand confirms your suspicions. There’s another one after a few seconds when you don’t move. Again, you move your legs around to avoid hurting him as you descend down onto his lap.

There’s movement on his end as he moves his hips around to sit up as his legs cross below your body. He pulls you back against his chest as you put your full weight on him.

“This is okay right? It’s not weird or anything, is it?” His voice tickles your ear as he whispers. You hesitate to let out a breath.

“Yeah…yeah this is fine,” You manage to whisper back. His hold on your waist tightens slightly as he pulls you closer. And you prayed he couldn’t feel your thundering pulse.

It’s almost a suffocating silence that engulfs the two of you. With the events that happened yesterday still fresh in your mind, it doesn’t exactly make this situation any easier.

You gulp as you decide to just calm down. Felix’s breathing is steady and you can feel it fan out on your neck every so often. It provides some coolness to contrast the rising heat in the closet. You can feel your own body stiff in his. It’s never been like this when he holds you. Then again, you’ve never sat in his lap before, save for yesterday. But, you weren’t fully down on his lap. You were straddling him. And you couldn’t decide if that was worse or better than now.

The feeling of his hips flush against your own has your head spinning. This…. You probably shouldn’t be doing this. Sitting in this position with him.

He must sense your discomfort because he starts moving below you. He squeezes your waist as he lifts you up as his legs stretch as far as they can until they reach the wall. You start lowering yourself back onto him slowly.

But then he spins you around to face him. Your legs flail slightly as you struggle to move them from one side of his hips to the other and there you are again. Straddling him. Except much closer.

Your bodies are touching each other in ways that they definitely shouldn’t be. His hips completely flush against yours, your stomach on his, his thighs supporting your back, and his feather-like fingers on the bare skin of your stomach. You gape at him slightly.

Because of the small distance between you and him, you can make out most of his features; his high but soft and round cheekbones, his round nose, his big eyes that always seemed to have a gravitational pull to them, his pouty heart-shaped lips with its defined cupid’s bow. You could even make out some of the darker freckles that adorned his golden cheeks.

His fingers digging into your side brings you out of your initial shock but the surprise is still there. Your hands were slung in between your bodies and you tensely removed them and put them at your sides.

“Is this okay?” He whispers. God, his breath fanned your cheeks as he said that. You’re way too close to him. A small nod is all you manage as you bring your hands up to his shoulders. Your thighs tense slightly around him as you shift up. You feel his own thighs tense as you move and his breathing hitches for a moment.

“I thought it’d be more comfortable like this,” He clears his throat softly as his fingers flex against your skin. You feel your skin start to warm as the body heat radiating from the both of you fills the air. And with the heat, it only gets more stifling.

But you can’t let it get like yesterday. You just can’t.

“ ‘M fine either way, honestly,” You chuckle quietly. He nods softly. His hands feel like they’re burning your skin but you don’t pull away yet.

The air around you both feels so fragile, like one wrong move and it’ll shatter. Which is why breathing even a little too loud feels like it’s going to ruin it. But ruin what exactly? You couldn’t put your finger on it.

“How long do hide and seek games normally last with all of you?” You break the silence. Surprisingly, you don’t feel the atmosphere change.

“It depends on where we play it. But last time we were here, it took maybe two hours before Jeongin gave up finding the rest of us,” He responds quietly.

2 Hours?! Jesus christ, you will not survive if you have to spend 2 hours with Felix in this position.

“I wonder if it’s going to take that long again this time,” You ponder out loud. You feel something switch in the atmosphere and you were almost scared to think about what happened.

“I kinda hope it does.”

Your eyes dart up towards his. And your stomach does a funny little flip as he meets your gaze. Your searching eyes bounce back and forth between his unwavering ones, as if you were desperately searching for what he means by it.

“Felix…?” You can hear the shake in your voice. His grip tightens again on your skin and his nails dig into your sides, but not painfully. Instinctively, your hold on his shoulders also tightens. The rise and fall of his shoulders gives you some indicator of how he’s feeling but not enough.

That stifling silence is back. With air so thick you didn’t know if you were actually breathing. The shallow rise and fall of his chest helps you match your breathing with his so that you don't suffocate as you look at him.

“I want to stay like this with you for just a little longer.”

With you.

You feel a pang in your heart as you zero in on those two words.

With you.

Your breathing stops for a sec as you drop your gaze to his chest. You can see the outline of it rising and falling and it’s only then that you can actually hear his breathing. The quick pace of it tells you everything you need to know.

Instead of a pleasant feeling in your stomach, however, the sinking feeling inside is fear. Fear of what’s going to happen. Because you know that if you kiss him again, you probably wouldn’t be able to stop.

Fear also because you weren’t sure if you wanted to cross that intimacy line with him again. It didn’t affect your friendship last time, but what about this time?

So many thoughts were swimming in your head that it was impossible to focus on the good parts of it. And it wasn’t until Felix moves around again that you’re jolted out of your head.

It doesn’t seem like he was waiting or expecting a response, thank god, but you still feel bad for leaving him alone with the silence. You find yourself swallowing a lump that has made its way up your throat.

“Felix, I….,” And your words simply die on your tongue. Because, what if you make a fool of yourself and he wasn’t implying anything with what he said? Maybe he just wants to be close to you again because it’s been so long since you’ve cuddled or anything.

He hums very softly. So soft you could’ve imagined it. As you bring your eyes back to his, you watch them dart between yours and your lips.

Okay, so you definitely didn’t have the wrong idea.

When he leans in closer, your brain stops functioning. His breath tickles your nose as he hovers close. His nose brushes yours as he stops.

And for once, you were grateful he did.

You push back on his chest gently, leaning back as you do and turning your head. He falls back to his previous position as he blinks.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” He immediately asks. You shake your head as you exhale loudly. Your hands tremble from the short-lived adrenaline.

“I just don’t think we should,” You can barely hear yourself speak. But you know he hears you. You can feel his body droop under yours slightly.

“We already ha-”

“I know,” You finally brave yourself to look at him. The sight that greets you has your heart stuttering against your ribcage. His eyes are warm and slightly wide as he searches your face. His lips were parted since you interrupted him mid-sentence. You feel the grip of his hands loosen on your waist and they drop to your hips.

“And we shouldn’t have that time.” Your breathing shakes as you inhale before you continue. This can’t go on. You’re just best friends, for Christ’s sake. He can’t keep confusing you as he pleases. “We’re best friends, Felix. We shouldn’t have crossed that line without at least talking about it first.”

“We can talk about it now?” He offers, his head co*cking towards yours. You shake your head quickly as your hands push harder against his chest.

“No, there’s nothing to talk about. We both know we shouldn’t. We can’t,” You’re almost pleading at this point. You look down to where your hips meet his and you almost forgot you were literally sitting on top of him.

“We can. As long as we talk about it,” He takes your hand in his and squeezes, just like he knows you like. You jerk it away like it’s poison. He retracts it towards his body as his eyes widen. Yours do too. It was like you spasmed and had no control of your hand. Embarrassingly, you feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You can’t cry in front of him over this.

“We should just… let it go. Pretend it never happened. I…. I can’t,” You take another breath to steady yourself, “I can’t keep feeling this way.”

“Feeling this way?” His voice is so small. Like he’s trying to just understand. And you wanted to help him, you really did. He’s your best f*cking friend! But the only thought on your mind was that you just needed to get out of here.

“I’m sorry,” You breathe out and stand up hurriedly. Your vision is blurry as you open the doors and you’re slammed with the bright sunlight from the windows. You have half a thought to shut the doors behind you as you’re reminded of why you were in there in the first place.

f*ck, you think as you stumble towards the room’s door, I’d rather just get out, anyways.

Someone must’ve heard the door open and close because you were barely reaching the living room when Jeongin shouts your name from behind you.

“I found her!” He yells. You hear him giggling as he runs up to you. sh*t, you hoped you looked presentable. He taps you on the shoulder and you spin around to look at him. He smiles breathlessly.

“You okay? You’re all red,” He gestures to his face and neck area.

“Yeah I was just really hot in my hiding spot,” You manage to swipe a hand across your forehead to seal the deal.

“Ah and so you wanted to be found?” He smirks. You return his smile, tired, and you nod.

“That’s alright. We’re just looking for Hyunjin and Felix now. Any idea on where they could be?” He throws an arm over your shoulder as you walk past the kitchen and down another enormous hallway.

“I think they might be on the first floor,” You smile cheekily as you throw him a wink, “but don’t tell them I told you.”

His mouth drops and forms an “o” as he pulls out his phone and quickly texts Changbin.

“He’s gonna close off the first floor soon and they’re going to have to move. We’ve got them now!” He stuffs his phone back into his pocket.

“I guess we’ll just have to wait now,” You glance around at the paintings on the grand walls.

As promised, Changbin sends out the text and Jeongin motions for you to go towards one staircase as he goes to another. You jog swiftly across the marble floors as you hide with a clear view of the regal stairs. There’s no way both of them take the other stairs right?

Right.

Hyunjin nervously tiptoes out from behind the stairs as he looks around. He took off his shoes, you noticed, to muffle his steps as he started up the stairs slowly. His head was like an owl the way it turned from side to side But, obviously, it wasn’t enough.

“Found you!” You shout as you jump up. He stumbles on the stairs and falls as your voice startles him.

“Jesus f*cking Christ,” He puts a hand against his heart as he turns on his butt to face you. You giddly hop out from your hiding spot and you climb up the stairs to him. Extending a hand to him, you pull him and you’re met with his pouty face.

“Did I at least win?” He asks as you both walk down.

“I don’t think so. Let me check,” And you pull out your phone to announce you found Hyunjin. Jeongin texts back saying he just found Felix, which means Felix had won.

“Sorry, Hyunjin, seems like Felix beat you,” You pat his shoulder as he whines.

Walking back into the living room, you hand off Hyunjin to the rest of his friends. He whines at how he was so close to winning this time and they all just laughed. Jeongin suddenly walked in and you knew exactly what that meant. You tensed up as he entered your peripheral vision. His eyes were trained on your head as he walked in and sat on the couch. Your hand flew to your mouth as you chewed on your nails as you heard them speak.

Unknown to you, another person had their eyes on you as well. They watched your lack of an interaction with Felix; the way you didn’t even acknowledge him, the way you were biting on your nails, your eyes that were glued to the windows ahead. They knew.

“So what does the winner get?” Seungmin says from his spot on the couch.

“Oh, we didn’t think of a prize did we?” Changbin looks at Minho for help. Minho shook his head.

“No. But we can always just leave it up in the air. When Felix finds something he wants to claim as his prize, he can,” He shrugs.

“Yeah sure that works,” Changbin says quickly.

“Soo what now?” Han looks up at the rest of the group from the floor. The rest of them murmur.

“We have a few hours to kill before the sun goes down. How about we make some food? I’m really hungry,” Changbin pats a hand over his stomach as he stands up.

“You’re always hungry,” Hyunjin points out.

“Touche. But I can’t be the only one,” He looks around for support.

They all seem to agree but you can’t seem to find your voice. You just smile softly at Changbin and nod to let him know you’re on the same page.

“Cool! Felix and Minho, do you wanna cook for us?” He shoots them puppy dog eyes. All of them immediately turn to them and also beg. You just feel like you want to go to your room. To think.

“Alright, fine fine. Calm your titt*es. We will. C’mon, Lix,” Minho’s voice pulls you out of your headspace and you hear them retreat into the kitchen.

Deciding not to make a big deal out of it, you quietly slink away to your room. God, you just wanted to process what it was that happened. Why are all of these things happening with Felix now? Can’t he control himself? Can you control yourself? Your thoughts were dizzying to think about for too long.

You essentially collapse on your bed as soon as you walk in. And not long after, you have some company. You crane your head to the side to see who it is and it’s none other than Changbin. He has an interesting look on his face as he shuts your door softly and makes his way over to your bed. You turn your head back to rest in the middle of your pillows as he sits beside your legs.

“You wanna talk about it?” He leans over.

“Talk about what?” Your muffled words come out.

“About why you look anxious as f*ck and why you’re acting like Felix doesn’t exist,” He shoots a glance at you from over his shoulder. Your hands shoot forward to raise yourself from the bed and you look at him, turning on your hip.

“You noticed?” You gape at him. Here you thought you were doing an awesome job at being subtle.

“Yeah biting your nails and not talking isn’t exactly subtle,” He leans down on his elbow in front of you. You drop your gaze. How the f*ck were you going to explain to him what happened with Felix in the closet if you didn’t explain to him from the very beginning? You weren’t very keen on letting the whole world know that your relationship with Felix was becoming complicated, especially not his friends.

“It’s complicated,” You whisper. You can’t meet his eyes. You simply can’t.

“I’m sure it is. You don’t have to tell me everything.” He starts. He ducks his head a little under yours to look at your eyes. It helps you raise your gaze to meet his and he gives you a small smile when you do. “I know you hid together.”

“You.. what?” You blink as your eyebrows furrow.

“Ah, I might’ve seen you run in here at the start. But the game just started and so I would’ve felt bad if I had gotten you out immediately. And then I saw Felix run in here,” He explains, clearing his throat.

“So then… When you and Minho came in here…” Your gaze stiffens as you look at him, bewildered.

“Yeah you can blame me for instigating it,” He flushes with embarrassment. “But I didn’t think it would cause your friendship with him to become complicated. I’m actually really f*cking sorry about that. I thought it was a harmless little joke.”

“It’s not entirely your fault, I think. It’s been complicated for like a week,” You scoff. The words came out a bit more venomous than you’d intended. He waits patiently for you to continue. You stare at him for a moment to decide if you were going to divulge this information to him.

“We, uh..we kissed,” You scratch the back of your neck as you look at the pretty ceiling. It has some nice designs.

“Wait what?”

“Yeah. After we got home from the club. Ah, well we actually made out so…” Your voice was low as you explain.

“I see what you mean by complicated, now,” He scratches the side of his cheek as he sits up. You mirror his action and sit on your knees.

“And then we almost kissed again in the closet. But, Changbin, I can’t kiss him again,” You say, almost exasperatedly. He eyes you.

“Well why not?”

“We’re best friends,” You said it like it’s obvious. “You can’t just kiss your best friend-”

“Make out with.”

“Fine. You can’t just make out with your best friend,” You say.

“Why not? Do you not have feelings for him?” Changbin co*cks an eyebrow. A blush makes its way onto your cheeks as you huff.

“No. And we can’t just cross that line. It’s intimate physical affection. And I can’t just kiss someone without meaning. I.. can’t do that to myself,” Your voice falters as you slump. Changbin is silent for a moment as he thinks.

“Well maybe it can mean something?” He inquires. Your head shakes rapidly.

“I can’t just get into a relationship with my roommate and did I mention he’s my best friend? It’ll end badly,” You cross your arms. Changbin seems to observe you some more. He tends to do that a lot, you notice. But what for?

“I guess you’re right. I hope you get it sorted out. Are you still comfortable sharing a room with him?” He hops off the bed and waits by the door for your answer.

Oh shoot that’s right. You forgot that you were sharing a room with him. It’s probably best to keep your distance from him for now, right?

“It’s probably best if we didn’t. Is there another guest room I could borrow for the night?” You hop off the bed and walk over to your small suitcase. He nods and opens the door.

“Yeah it’s next to Minho’s room. Come with me.”

Getting situated in your new room was easy. And after Minho called you over to eat with them, you decided to just stay in your room, deciding that maybe a nap would do you good. Naps always helped you clear your head.

You woke up to Chan rubbing your back gently. The warmth of his rather large hand seeped through the blanket and you shivered.

“We’re going swimming in an hour. Do you want to join us?” His soft voice was a blessing. You felt incredibly lucky to hear it first thing when you woke up.

“Yeah I’d like that,” You croak, rubbing your puffy eyes. He chuckles softly. He gives you one last pat to the back before leaving the room. A big yawn graces your body as you sit up and stretch. No more Felix to comment on how many bones you manage to crack in one go. And you were slightly disappointed by that fact.

But shake it off! This is going to be better for your relationship with Felix in the long run.

Forcefully pushing yourself out of bed, you sift through your clothes to find the other bathing suit. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion when you can’t find it. And then horror sets in when you realize you didn’t pack it. Oh of course something like this would happen to you.

You chew your lip nervously as you go over your options. And then one very obvious option comes to mind. You leave your room and head over to Minho’s. A swift knock to the door and he swings it open, already dressed in his swim attire.

“What? What’s up?” He leans in the doorway.

“Where’s Changbin’s sister’s room?” You fidget with your fingers as you ask.

“Just further down the hall and to the right,” Minho points. You flash him a smile and say a hurried “thanks” as you run off. You jog down the lengthy hallway and turn to face her door. You knock twice and you wait nervously for her.

“Yeah?” She opens the door. It looks like she was studying, based on what she looked like and her desk that you could see.

“God, I hate to ask you this since we don’t really know each other but, I left my other swimsuit at home and the guys really wanna go swimming. My swimsuit that I brought is currently washing. So do you think I could maybe borrow one? Just for tonight,” You quickly blurt. She breaks out into a wide smile.

“Of course you can! I’m sure I’ll have something that fits you,” She eyes your figure up and down as she motions for you to step inside.

“God, you’re an actual angel,” Your eyes are literally shining as you watch her dig through her drawers.

“Aw, don't mention it. I’ll always help a girl in need,” She pauses to speak to you. You flush softly as you smile.

“This should be close to your size,” She hands you a black and white two piece. It’s beautiful but maybe a little too revealing. But you don’t want to be rude so you take it with a little bow. “You can change in my bathroom! I wanna see what you look like,” She gives you a cheeky grin as she ushers you in.

And you were right. The top piece dips down low. They’re just triangles of fabric on top of your breasts. It made you feel weird. After all, your other top had a sweetheart neckline and the one you had on now looked like a bra you would wear. But any suit is better than no suit, you figured.

It was slow, the way you opened the door to reveal yourself to Changbin’s sister, but her reaction when you finally stepped out was so reassuring. She was absolutely gushing over how good you looked and how your looks would definitely kill one of them tonight.

Once she had flustered you enough, you decide to head back to your room. You changed into your denim shorts and one of your other crop tops that you had brought.

If you thought Changbin’s house was pretty in the daytime, it was magical during the night. The lights lit up the hallways and it shimmered as it bounced off the gold adorned on the pillars.

Once again, as you got closer to the backyard doors, you could hear the resounding sounds of their laughter. This time, you wouldn’t have Felix by your side as you arrived at the pool and it made you anxious. Maybe he was already there? Or maybe he was going to arrive after you? The thought poisoned your head.

“Are you going to swim?” Jeongin shouts at you from the pool as you finally look at them. Felix is on the top of the slide with Chan but it doesn’t seem like he’s spotted you yet.

“Yeah just give me a minute to change,” You yell back. It’s now or never. You let out an exhale as you quickly peel off your shorts followed by your shirt. And before any of them could notice what you were wearing, you walk over to the shallow end to wade in, remembering what happened the last time you tried entering through the deep end.

“Woah,” Han’s quick to notice you enter the pool. Once again, your arms are around your stomach in self consciousness.

“Isn’t that my sister’s swimsuit?” Changbin asks, jumping onto Han’s back to essentially drown him.

“Yeah. I apparently left my other one at home. It’s not too much, right?” You quickly ask, taking your bottom lip in between your teeth. He shakes his head as Han squirms beneath him. Changbin lets him come up for air and he coughs.

“No, of course not. It’s just a swimsuit,” His words soothe you more than you think he knows. Your hands let go of your stomach as you go in deeper.

“Aren’t you guys cold?” You shiver as the water reaches below the seams of your top.

“Not anymore. Swim around and you’ll warm up,” Minho nudges you. You nod as you follow him into the deep end.

As expected, Changbin’s pool is gorgeous at night. The fluorescent lights inside of it illuminate it and it looks like it’s glowing. It’s beautiful.

Once you’re sufficiently warm and your hair is slicked back from the water, they decide to have a game of “Marco Polo” With Hyunjin being it.” You almost feel pity for his bad luck with games, even the ones that are done to decide who’s “it.” You all spread out around the pool and place Hyunjin in the center. You're holding onto the side of the deepest part of the pool with Jeongin by your side. The water laps quietly at the base of your neck as you try to stay afloat.

Very quickly, the game becomes loud. With Hyunjin yelling at one of them, and two others splashing loudly to get away from him, it’s not long before he comes over to the deep end.

“Marco!” He shouts. His eyes are snapped shut as his lengthy arms are out to feel for any movement. You hold back a giggle as you duck underwater and swim away from him quickly and quietly.

As soon as you emerge from the water, you collide with Han’s chest and you yelp a little too loudly. Hyunjin snaps his entire torso in your direction and swims like his life depends on it. Han sees him coming and he latches onto your arms and he holds you in front of him. You wiggle as you shout at him and he holds back his laughter. The rest of the guys join in on the laughter as Hyunjin dives into you.

“Who’d I get?” His hands replaced Han’s at your arms as he shakes his head and opens his eyes. His lips curl into a devious smile as he pulls you in for a massive hug.

“YES! I’M NOT IT ANYMORE!” He squeezes you.

“Hyun…jin.. I can’t….breathe!” You manage between giggles. His arms constrict around your ribs one last time before they slide down to your hips.

“Do me a favor and hold your breath once more,” He leans down to be face to face with you and he adjusts his footing.

“Hyunjin what-”

You don’t have time to say anything else as you’re being thrown up and out of the water quickly. A scream is ripped from your throat as you quickly hold your breath and brace for impact. The water engulfs your body again. You appear laughing as some of the guys swim over to you. Your hand runs over your hair, slicking it back as you take in a breath.

“Jesus you were so close to hitting the edge of the pool,” Of course that’s what Chan is worried about.

“You made a huge splash!” Jeongin beams.

“I hope I didn’t get my clothes wet,” You spit some water out that had entered your mouth. And then Hyunjin comes over. A smirk is dancing on his full lips.

“Did you enjoy your trip?” He holds back a laugh.

“Yeah it was kinda fun actually,” You eye him pointedly. You flash him a smirk as you swim back to join the rest of the group. He trails after you with his eyes and he ends up following close behind.

“Chan, I want to race you,” Han was saying as you approached them.

“I’ll win.” Chan throws his head back with a laugh. “Are you forgetting that I did years of swim?” Han seems to deflate a little with that statement

“Yeah and that’s exactly why I want to! I want to see if you’re still good, old man,” He co*cks his head. As they’re squaring up to each other, a pair of arms snake around your waist. Panic sets in. It can’t be Felix, right? He wouldn’t do this after you set a very clear boundary. You hesitate to turn around. Instead of inky black hair, you’re met with long, blond hair and it immediately has you breathing out in relief.

“Old man? You’re on,” Chan makes his way to the shallow end. Hyunjin pulls you back to the side of the pool as the two swimmers take their mark.

And Felix’s eyes just trail after the two of you, unblinking and focused.

Hyunjin’s arms are definitely different from Felix’s. They’re skinnier and longer. His hands covered all of your stomach and you found it funny since Felix’s hands could barely cover most of it. He rests his head on your shoulder and you put a hand against his cheek to transition it into his pretty hair. He leans into your touch and you smile softly. You think nothing of the touchyness between you and him.

But of course, someone else does. And he is not happy.

But you’re not paying attention to him. You’re using every cell in your body to not look or pay attention to him.

Unbeknownst to you, he’s watching every little move you make in his arms and every move he makes with you in them. The way you move against him, the way he responds. The way he speaks to you and you lean back to hear him better. He’s watching it all. And maybe he’s staring a little too hard because Minho definitely notices. And he bites back a snicker.

After mentioning to Hyunjin that you wanted to get out, he decides to follow you. Felix also asks Seungmin if he wants to go inside and he says sure. So the pair also follows you and Hyunjin up the stairs

“Hyunjin, you soaked my shirt from when you threw me in the pool!” You hold your still drenched shirt between your pointer finger and thumb with your jaw slack. He laughs loudly, throwing his head back as he wraps his towel around his shoulders.

“Sorry, you can wear mine if you want,” He throws you his shirt as he uses the towel to dry his hair. You grumble quietly as you start drying your body.

“Use mine,” Felix steps in front of you with his shirt extended to you. He’s looking down at you unblinking. You pause as you’re wringing out your hair. Hyunjin and Seungmin also pause to see what’s going on.

“I…”

“Just take it.”

He drops it into your hands without another word and starts heading towards the house. Hyunjin glances at you as he leaves and you shrug with wide eyes.

What’s gotten into him?

You sigh as you look between the two shirts in your hand; there’s not much of a difference between them. One is a black band t-shirt and the other is a black graphic t-shirt. You can’t even tell them apart from the back.

There’s an easy way to please both of them; wear one now, and wear one after you shower. Easy.

You suppose this might be Felix’s way of “apologizing to you” in a weird way. But you’ll accept it nonetheless. Still, keeping distance for now is good. However, it’s not good to totally distance yourself. You do have to see him everyday and do things with him regardless of how you or he feels.

“I’ll return this to you after I shower, Hyunjin,” You throw on his shirt and you collect your things.

“Yeah sure.”

Felix looks up from his phone as you, Hyunjin, and Seungmin enter the house. His eyes close in on the shirt you’re wearing and you look up at him in time to see and hear him scoff before turning and walking away. Your nose crinkles in confusion.

“Okay he’s being weird,” Seungmin says as he walks past the both of you.

Your eyes trail after Felix with concern. He wasn’t….mad at you over what you said in the closet, right?

The thought consumes you as you enter the shower and peel off your swimsuit.

It’s still bouncing around in your mind as you blow dry your hair.

And it continues as you step out of the shower. Until a voice slaps you out of your thoughts.

“If you’re not going to wear it, can I have my-” It’s Felix. He cuts himself off as you watch his eyes trail to the shirt you’re wearing. The black band t-shirt. His shirt.

“Yeah?” You blink. You didn’t catch the first part of the sentence. You watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. He shakes his head and looks at the ground.

“No, never mind. The guys are having ice cream and asked me to come get you after your shower.”

You hum softly. It’s awkward. Painfully awkward. You sway softly on your feet until he finally shuffles away towards the kitchen.

You hand Hyunjin’s shirt immediately as you walk in and you shove it against his chest. He stumbles a bit as he grabs it and you give him an overly big smile.

“Oh hey, do you want some ice cream? We have a few flavors to choose from,” Changbin turns to you as he sets down a bowl in front of Hyunjin and Minho.

“No, actually, I just came to give Hyunjin his shirt back,” You smile as you fold your hands in front of you.

“Aw, are you going to sleep already?” Minho asks around his spoon. It’s dripping chocolate ice cream back into his bowl and you spot a few marshmallows on top of it.

“Yeah, sorry. It’s been an exhausting day,” Your eyes feel incredibly heavy as you say it. Maybe the exhaustion is finally catching up to you. It was only an excuse until now.

“That’s fine. Sleep well!” Chan says as he ruffles your hair as you pass him.

“Thanks, Chan. Goodnight everyone!” You wave as they all echo back your goodnight and you’re off to bed.

“So did anyone else notice she’s going to wear Lix’s shirt to sleep?” Minho starts.

“Oh that’s what it was,” Jeongin says as he pours chocolate syrup into his bowl.

“Anything you want to tell us, Lixie?” Minho bats his eyelashes as he leans over the island.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Felix hops off of the stool, grabs his phone, and makes his way back to his room.

“Hey, I was only joking!” Minho shouts after him.

“Maybe something did happen and he just doesn’t want to talk about it, Minho,” Seungmin points at him with his spoon. “He’ll come around when they solve it.”

“We should start a bet,” He says, shifting around in his seat.

“I don’t think we should bet on our friend’s love life,” Chan advises.

“No, I think that’s exactly what we should do. I’m listening, Minho,” Han’s eyes sparkle from across the island.

“How long do you think it’ll take before they finally confess?” He proposes.

“No, that's way too broad. You need to make it more like a ‘one or the other’ thing,” Changbin pipes up.

“Why are you joining them too?” Chan scrunches his face. “I thought you were a reasonable one.”

Changbin just shrugs before smirking cheekily.

“You’re right. Okay then how about let’s make a bet on who cracks first. I’ll put in ₩60k for Felix,” Minho slams some money on the table.

“I want in. I think she’s going to crack first,” Hyunjin also slaps a few notes onto the table.

Once everyone puts their bets in (all, including Chan), Changbin pockets the money.

“May the one with less patience win,” Changbin smirks

Chapter 9: Boundaries

Chapter Text

The days that followed when you returned from Changbin’s house were long and unexpectedly cold. Not just outside, but inside felt frigid. Your interactions with Felix were few and far in between, only chatting when you crossed paths or if he needed to ask you something regarding the apartment. To be honest, you were getting kind of sick of it. You missed the way things were before.

Felix practically felt like a ghost now; always going out or staying in his room. He often stayed silent when you were around. You were seriously worried you had done something wrong. Your hopes were that after a few days had passed, you would’ve been able to go back to the way you were before, like you had done when you had kissed.

But for some reason it felt like not kissing him was worse than actually kissing him. And your head spun thinking about it. You just hoped that Felix was doing better than you were.

~~

“Hey, class ended,” Your classmate rubs your shoulder firmly. Apparently, you spent too long thinking about Felix that your class had seemingly passed in the blink of an eye. Your head raises from your crossed arms, which you had used as a makeshift pillow.

“Geez, how long was I out for?” You decide to play it off as you fell asleep. No need to worry your classmate. She glances at her watch on her wrist.

“Maybe 40 minutes?” She grimaces slightly as she starts walking away. Your shoulders slump immediately. God, you missed 40 minutes of the lecture because you were so busy thinking about Felix. It can’t go on like this anymore; you’ll be in huge trouble if you fail this class. You glance around as you try to readjust your eyes to the fluorescent overhead lights, you notice that there were only a few stragglers left in the class.

In your hurry to leave, you knocked over a few pens and pencils as you shoved your ipad back into your bag. A quiet groan escapes your lips as you bend down to start putting them back on the table. A hand reaches down beside you to pick them up. You glance up at the sight and are greeted with a warm smile. You offer a weak smile back as you stand up.

“Thank you,” You mutter softly, adjusting your bag on your shoulder.

“No problem. See you around,” He gives a small nod and dashes off.

You slip your headphones on as you leave the lecture hall. The bag on your shoulder felt heavier than normal as you dragged your feet against the concrete. The cold air nipping at your nose is normally welcomed but it only makes you feel more isolated nowadays.Consumed by your thoughts once again, you neglected your surroundings and effectively, ran into someone’s back. You hurriedly brought a hand up and started to bow, hoping to convey an apology without saying anything. But when the person turned, you felt your mood do a 180.

Changbin says your name in surprise as he looks at you. He sends you a friendly grin as you feel your negative emotions slip away slowly.

“Sorry Changbin, I wasn’t watching where I was going,” You breathe out with a small laugh.

“No worries. I hope I didn’t hurt you,” He scans you quickly as you shake your head, moving your headphones down to your neck.

“No you’re totally fine,” You send him a smile. When he looks at you, you feel warmth start to slowly seep back into your layers of clothes, as if his smile alone was a heater; so warm and inviting.

“Are you busy, right now? I was just heading out for some lunch,” He offers. Hurriedly, you pull out your phone to check the time. 1:32 pm. You slide it back into your pocket while looking back up at him.

“Yeah, I’m free,” Both of you share a smile as he starts walking forward.

The place Changbin took you was a bit more on the expensive side but you should’ve expected it. It was rustic looking and cozy. The hostess sat the two of you near a rather large window which brightened up the area. She left you both with menus and a waitress immediately brought over some waters with a cheerful smile.

“I wasn’t expecting something so fancy for lunch,” You drag your finger around the edge of your glass as you look down at the table.

“Well, I thought I could treat you since I’m taking up your time right now,” Changbin picks up his menu.

“You don’t have to, honestly. We’re friends, dude. I like spending time with you,” You respond.

“Yeah exactly. And I like treating my friends. Don’t sweat it!” He smiles as he flips through his menu. “I was actually glad we ran into one another. I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

Your stomach drops slightly but your face remains unchanged. You casually pick up your own menu to look through the choices.

“About?”

“Well, if you feel up for it, you could tell me why you seemed so upset when we bumped into each other earlier.” He pauses to look up at you before smiling softly. “And I hope it wasn’t because you saw me,” He finishes with a light laugh. And you appreciate him trying to lighten the mood.

“No, of course not. I guess you can probably assume why I’m upset,” You tentatively start. He hums as he takes a sip of his water.

“I don’t want to assume anything. That’s why I’m asking you. And not anyone else,” He returned. His answer makes you pause for a minute. You decide not to answer him for a while, choosing instead to actually read the menu and pick out your food. He glances up at you every so often but stays quiet.

The waitress finally comes back to your table and takes your order. She takes away both menus and all that’s left is silence as Changbin patiently waits for your answer.

“I don’t know,” You finally breathe out. Your hands glide over your pants hurriedly, a nervous habit you picked up years ago. “I just…. tried establishing boundaries, I think?”

“And he didn’t take it well?” Immediately, Changbin knows what you’re talking about and you’re so grateful you don’t have to drop any names or explain further.

Your head shakes softly. “Changbin, I think he’s catching feelings for me.”

“Okay. And that’s bad, right?”

“Yes! Our friendship would crumble if that happened. There would be no return. Plus, we literally live together,” Your eyes desperately search his, looking for maybe some understanding.

“Yeah you’ve mentioned that to me before. Why are you so hellbent on believing that it’s such a bad thing if he does like you?” He rips a piece of bread from the loaf the waitress had given the two of you.

“I can’t lose him, Changbin. He means so much to me. And I know I haven’t even known him for a year, but it feels like I’ve known him my whole life. I’m not just going to throw that away because of some feelings that could go away,” Your voice raises slightly in your desperation. For the first time, you allowed yourself to verbalize your thoughts on this situation, and it put things into perspective on how much this was affecting you

“But you wouldn’t be throwing anything away. You would only be changing the dynamic. Everything you’ve had with him thus far isn’t suddenly disappearing,” He motions with his hands to emphasize his point. Your shoulders slump as you sit back in your seat.

“Could it be at all possible that you’re the one catching feelings and you’re projecting? Not to sound rude or anything..,” He quietly offers. Your eyes snap to his.

“No. No way. I don’t catch feelings like that,” You take a few gulps of water, suddenly feeling a little warm.

“I think you’re in denial,” he starts and you choke slightly, opening your mouth to utter a response but he continues, “but I think you need to figure that out on your own.”

Your mouth shuts as you wipe it with a napkin. You’re silent for a moment as you think about what you both just talked about.

Why exactly was it such a bad thing if you both caught feelings? Was it not as big a deal as you were making it to be?

You could feel yourself slipping back down that spiral that Changbin had managed to pull you out of. He, being the observant little sh*t that he is, noticed.

“We can change the topic if you want. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with you. I’m sorry if we talked about something you didn’t want to,” He reaches a hand out to squeeze yours gently with a small smile gracing his lips.

“It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s just…thinking about the whole situation makes my head spin. I actually missed the last forty minutes of my lecture because I was so lost in thought about it,” You chuckle softly as you squeeze his hand back.

“Damn,” He cringes slightly, his nose wrinkling, along with his eyes. “If it’s any consolation, I’m always here if you need to talk or vent. It’s not good to keep stuff like that bottled up.”

Your head nods slowly. He feels so inviting, you almost have to give in.

A figure walks by your table and they do a double take. And immediately you’re slapped in the face with a good reason why you shouldn’t give in.

“What are you guys doing here?” Chan breaks into a wide smile as he looks between the both of you. Changbin quickly looks at you and then up at him.

“We ran into each other earlier on campus and I decided to take her out on a lunch date. Our classes have been kicking our asses lately, y’know?” He speaks, his cool tone masking the air around the, now, three of you.

“Oh that’s awesome! Changbin, you come here often, right? Got any recommendations?” Chan wiggles his eyebrows as he places his hands on your table.

“Any of their burgers or soups hit the spot for me every time. You have to try one of them,” His eyes shine as he tells him. Chan seems engaged in listening and you’re happy to see Chan, you really are.

But that bubble of happiness suddenly pops when Felix arrives beside him.

Averting your gaze, you look out of the window, suddenly fascinated by the people outside. The conversation starts falling deaf on your ears as you successfully tune them out. A hand taps your shoulder gently and you’re jolted out of your fantasy world. You glance up to be met with those familiar dark brown eyes. He gazed at you with a smile tugging on the corners of his lips; it's the first time he’s attempted to smile at you in days.

“Hey, I didn’t see you, sorry,” You hurriedly said. It was a total lie. But he wouldn’t know, right?

“Don’t worry about it,” He returns, actually sending you a smile this time. The conflicting emotions brewed in the deepest pit of your stomach as you gave him a small smile as well.

“-if you two don’t mind?” Chan’s voice finally filters through your hazy thoughts and you find all three of them looking at you. You blink, confused, turning to Changbin for help.

“Oh, I mean we don’t want to bore you with our talk about our majors,” Changbin starts and it clicks in your head; Chan was asking if they could join the two of you. And expertly, Changbin was turning him down because of Felix. But you were sick of this weird air. You had to do something to clear it, even if it was just a little.

“We’d love your company, actually,” You perk up, genuinely sending Chan and Felix a smile. The way Felix’s eyes roamed your face for a second and the way you could tell he was also genuinely happy by the way he smiled, let you know you made the correct choice. And, sure, maybe just a little bit of the dark fog cleared up, but it was progress nonetheless.

“Awesome!” Chan slips in beside Changbin. Which leaves just one more spot for Felix to sit.

You wait with bated breath for Felix to slide into the seat next to you. Luckily, the booth the hostess sat you and Changbin at was large enough for the four of you to fit comfortably. Which meant there was little to no chance you had to touch Felix in any way, shape, or form.

“So how have you been? Classes going well?” Chan slides his jacket off as he looks at you. Felix glances at you as he mirrors Chan and starts taking off his scarf and hoodie.

“Yeah, yeah. The pace has been picking up this week so we can get through everything in time for finals,” You ease into the conversation easily.

You weren’t completely sure if Chan noticed the tension between you and Felix, but if he did, he wasn’t doing anything about it. And on your right, it seemed like Felix was also trying to make an effort to dissipate any of the tension for his friends.

“Tell me about it. My econ professor has been going nuts lately. The amount of work he’s been giving us is so unreasonable,” Chan groans as he pulls the basket of bread in front of him.

“Oh hey have you guys ordered yet?” Felix interjects quickly.

“We have but it wasn’t that long ago. I can call the waitress over so you guys can order, if you’d like,” Changbin offers. He starts looking around for the waitress that took your order.

“Actually…,” Your mouth moves quicker than your thoughts and you capture the attention of all three guys at the table. You pause and swallow. “If you want, we can share what I’m getting. It seems pretty large for just me.”

Felix’s face brightens up a considerable amount at your words and it feels like the sun was shining on his features. He was absolutely glowing.

“Sure! What are you getting?” He beams. As you lean closer to him to point out your food on his menu, you feel your anxiety ease and the familiar Felix warmth welcomes your body immediately.

Across the both of you, Changbin and Chan exchange a glance as Chan smiles. Felix and you were so caught up in your conversation that neither of you noticed the waitress coming back. So, Chan ended up ordering for himself and ordered a lemonade for Felix.

The conversation you were having with Felix was relaxed and flowed naturally. It wasn’t like the strained ones you tried to have with him back at the apartment.

Chan and Changbin managed to join your conversation and for the first time in over a week, you could feel yourself relax. You gave into the nice atmosphere and you laughed openly; no stress weighing on your shoulders.

Though in the back of your head, that annoying voice was saying “you need to talk to him about that night.”

But, maybe for just an hour or two, you could silence it.

“Man, that was so good,” Chan sighs happily as you all step back out on the cold sidewalk of the cozy restaurant.

“We have to come back soon. Their food hit the spot,” Felix agrees, nodding by your side. You took a moment to appreciate his features that you weren’t able to see for the past week.

His round nose was tinged pink from the cold, his cheeks held a soft blush on them, and his breath escaped through his slightly parted lips in small, relaxed bursts. It puts your mind at ease to know he was happy in this moment.

“Sure. We could invite the rest of the guys too,” Changbin responds while putting his hands in the pockets of his expensive looking coat.

Felix then nudged you gently with his elbow. You blinked at him before your eyebrows furrowed. He made the same motion with his head and you immediately understood.

“We’re gonna head back home. We’ll chat with you guys later!” Felix says. And, as if everything is normal, Felix laces your fingers with his. And your heart lurches.

You try not to think anything of it as Felix drags you along the sidewalk, trying your hardest to ignore the warmth of his palm in yours. It was a silent walk but you appreciated it. With every step you guys took, you could feel things going back to normal. And then Felix tugged on your hand to look at him.

“I’m sorry I’ve been distant this week,” He murmurs softly. So softly you would’ve missed it, had you not been paying attention to his every detail.

Your eyes roam over his body for a moment, silently pleading him to keep going. No words bubbled in your throat with a response.

“It.. wasn’t your fault. And I want you to know that,” His head turns and his eyes from over your face. His gaze was warm and you returned it, looking him in the eyes for the first time in over a week. Still, you had no response. How could you? When his eyes held so much conviction.

“I just needed some space, I guess, after what happened at Changbin’s house,” He continues, walking forward again. There it was. The unspoken. You just listened for the time being and you let him get his words out. You hum in agreement to let him know you actually were listening.

“I’m sorry for leaving you in the dust these past few days,” He says, squeezing your hand. You crack a smile in response, glancing at him.

“I forgive you. We should just communicate better from now on, okay?” You inhale sharply before looking him in the eyes. “I don’t want to cross any of your boundaries and I’m sure you don’t want to cross any of mine either.”

He nods twice before flashing you his smile. God, his smile. It has the power to just weaken your knees.

“At least now things can go back to normal. I’ve missed you, Felix,” You step closer to him, taking the hand that was in his and wrapping it around his waist. He immediately reciprocates, mirroring your action.

“I’ve missed you too. I won’t ever do something like that again,” He breathes softly against your hair. You breathe out softly against his shoulder.

“Alright, well we should actually head back home now. I’m freezing my tit* off out here,” A shiver runs through your body as you pull away and you giggle softly. You’re sure that your nose and cheeks are tinted pink from the cold.

“Yeah of course. I drove here so, at least, we don’t have to walk all the way back,” He comments. A small noise of happiness leaves your mouth as he takes your hand again and leads you to where his car was parked.

~~

Maybe it was because you and Felix made up, but when you entered the apartment, it felt warmer and way more inviting than it had been lately. Instantly, a smile graced your frigid lips as you slipped off your layers.

“How about I make dinner? To make up for these days?” Felix offers as he sheds his scarf and throws it onto the couch. To be honest, you didn’t want him to keep gilting himself like that, but you were in no position to pass up on the opportunity to taste his food.

“Sure. You can make whatever. I’m gonna go take a shower, okay?” You announce, striding over towards your bedroom. He makes some sort of noise in acknowledgement.

The hot water was welcoming on your icy skin and you let the water sting for a few moments, relishing in it. It was the first time in a few days where you allowed yourself to just relax under the water; instead of having your thoughts be plagued by Felix. The difference was nice and your mind was now able to rest.

You find the smell of Felix’s cooking welcoming as you exit the bathroom and head into your shared kitchen. Seems like whatever he is making is either done or close to it. He looks up at you with a smile as you look over what's on the stove.

“You can sit if you’d like. I just need to plate and then this is all done,” He sets down the spoon he had in his hand and you take him up on his invitation.

“Whatcha making today?” You rest your hand on your palm as you observe him moving swiftly between the pots.

“Something I think you’ll find comforting,” He replies with his back turned. But you can most definitely hear the smile he has on. And based on the aroma the food was giving off, you had no doubt in your mind that he was right.

He returns to the table with two bowls in his hand and a smile gracing his soft lips. He hands you your chopsticks and you can’t help but break out into a wide smile. Felix made his kimchi fried rice for you because he knows how much you like it.

“You’re actually the best,” You say to him as you sit up straighter in your chair.

“What can I say?” He shrugs triumphantly. “I made this in hopes you’ll forgive me.”

You chew on your food for a moment before looking down at your bowl. “Felix, I already said that I did.”

“I know but I just felt like my words weren’t enough,” He sighs softly, messing around with his food. Your eyes roam over his face. His shoulders were slumped and he was slightly hunched over. His eyes snap up towards yours suddenly, taking you aback.

“Did you…. When we were hiding… I didn’t make you uncomfortable, right?” He blurted, stumbling over his words. Part of you wishes he didn’t bring it up and the other was grateful that he did.

“No. I just freaked myself out a little, that’s all. ‘M not a fan of tight spaces,” The last sentence leaves your mouth smoothly as you lie through your teeth. The tension in Felix’s shoulders basically evaporates with your statement.

“Oh, okay. I was really worried I crossed a boundary or something,” He breathes out, his neck tensing as he takes another bite of his food. You blinked at him for a moment, an avalanche of thoughts coming to the front of your mind. You decide to pick your next words carefully.

“Maybe.. To avoid that…. We should set some boundaries,” You murmur quietly, quickly shoveling food into your mouth to avoid having to explain further.

“To avoid.. What?” Felix tentatively asks. You take a deep, deep breath as you swallow the rest of your food.

“I don’t want what happened last week to happen again. If we have this talk, we are open and we won’t get angry, deal?” You place your bowl down and set your gaze onto his. He stares back for a moment, likely considering your words before nodding.

“To answer your question, it’s to avoid any miscommunication about boundaries and leave the other person wondering and confused and maybe even uncomfortable. This last week sucked and I don’t want either of us to go through that again,” All of your thoughts were being vacuumed out of your body as you talked to him. Something about talking to him made you want to tell him everything.

He didn’t take long to respond back, only taking a second to consider your words and pick out his carefully. His mouth opens and closes and you appreciate that he’s taking some time to think about what he’s going to say.

“Okay. Then what boundaries do you want to discuss?” He finally says. Another deep breath escapes your lungs.

“Physical stuff,” Your eyes meet his as you mentally prepare yourself for what you’re going to say next.

“So that we don’t have a repeat of what happened in the closet.”

And after the club.

He takes your words into careful consideration.

“Okay,” he nods slowly, “so no more…cuddling?”

You actually weren’t prepared for him to ask that. The thought of it never even crossed your mind. But now that he’s said it, maybe you should set that boundary. To, y’know, keep things from escalating.

“Um..,” The words falter on your tongue. You knew what you wanted to say, had to say, but you just couldn’t get them to form. Your eyes glaze over, your gaze dropping to his hands. His fingers were fidgeting around with the many rings he had on.

“If that’s what you want. I’m all up for it if it makes you more comfortable. I’m sorry if, in the past, any of my actions made you uncomfortable,” He answers, seemingly able to read what was on your mind. He understood you, and that’s something you’re always grateful for.

Lifting your eyes, you were nervous to see his reaction. His eyes looked..hurt. The buoyant glint in his eyes was no longer there. And it made you second-guess your choice. But there was no going back. Not right now, at least.

You stand up almost awkwardly and you collect your dishes, reaching your hands out towards his. “Can I..,” you start but then you pause for a second, clearing your thoughts and trying again. “Can I take your dishes too?”

He glances up at you and nods. Your hand hesitates as you grab his bowl, taking a moment to look at his face. Once again, the guilty and disheartened look returned to his eyes. He didn’t stay much longer, opting instead to go to the couch and turn on the TV. Well, at least he didn’t retreat back into his room.

There was a slight hesitation in your movement when you finished washing up; should you sit with him and watch a movie? Or go to your room for the night? The question plagued your mind but you shook it off.

You smile at him softly as you sit down on the couch a few feet away from him. He glances your way as he scrolls through Netflix and turns back.

“What are we watching today?” You try to break the ice. After all, it wasn’t often you guys didn’t huddle together during your movie nights.

“I was kinda in the mood for Studio Ghibli?” He offers quietly, throwing another glance your way. You chuckle quietly as you look down at your sock-clad feet.

“Well you won’t find any of their movies on Netflix. Look at the movies we already have,” You pull your legs up to the couch and squeeze them together, warming yourself up. He navigated through the tv without another word. And you should’ve suspected that by the way he was acting, it was going to set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Unfortunately, you could only take so much. Before the movie even ended, you excused yourself, claiming today drained you more than usual. Which wasn’t exactly a lie but you couldn’t deal with Felix’s awkward behavior any longer.

An exasperated sigh escaped your lips as you huffed while sitting down on your desk chair. Your gaze drifted across your mildly decorated and disorganized desk. With finals right around the corner, papers and pens and sticky notes and highlighters were all over the place and you finally got to look at how disorganized it was. But you were so not in the correct headspace to clean all of it up. So you promptly got up and trudged towards your bed, collapsing on it face first.

God, you wished this was all just a dream and that your relationship with Felix wasn’t actually f*cked up. Maybe the reason you were acting like this was because you were pent up. Was it possible to be pent up and still a virgin? Apparently. I mean, of course it is, you thought to yourself. Maybe a self-care night was needed and then you’ll be rid of your thoughts and feelings.

So, turns out, a self-care night was not going to help at all. And the results were only short lived, anyways. You figured out the bitter truth the next day in your lecture when all of those thoughts of Felix slammed into your frontal lobe. You wished you could just cause permanent damage to it, maybe then you’ll stop having those pesky thoughts bother you. Just kidding..

The cheerful tone your teacher chose to have today only further irritated you. Her voice droned on and on and on and on. How the hell could she be so cheerful at 7 in the goddamn morning? You, who is sitting in her classroom, is completely miserable for reasons unknown. And she was gleefully chirping about some historical figure. To be honest, you couldn’t even remember what class you were even in. It was all so frustrating. Especially when you yourself couldn’t figure out what it was that you were thinking or feeling.

These thoughts.. They’re not solid colors. They’re a gray mish mash of…well, something. And every once in a while a color would burst through and you’d have some idea of what it was, but most of the time it was guesswork. And the answer to this problem? Well, you were obviously still working on it. But perhaps a solution had presented itself.

“This will be on the final! I suggest finding a partner or group to study because it won’t be multiple choice!” She raises her voice to make sure it reaches even the one student who was passed out in the back of the lecture hall.

Thank the Gods you decided to take digitized notes today. If you had to put away all of your pens and highlighters, you would’ve had a meltdown right then and there. Lost in thought, you didn’t happen to notice the figure that stood over your chair. Upon seeing the shadow be cast on your table, you traced it with your eyes to find a familiar face standing over you.

“Can I help you?” You blink up at him, slowing down in your process to shove your ipad in your bag. It was your classmate from yesterday; the one who helped you pick up your pens. He smiles sweetly as he blinks a few times and backs up.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to just stand there. Uh..,” He pauses for a second before looking around the classroom. You take this small window of opportunity to collect yourself and stand up. “We have another class together right?” He co*cks his head to the side as his eyes squint slightly. He appears to be thinking.

“Oh! Yeah, sociology. Yesterday’s class,” You smile politely. Honestly, you were kind of irritated he stopped you and you were surprised at yourself for being able to hold such a polite conversation. He chuckles softly, and you’ve gotta admit, he has a nice laugh.

“I’m glad you remember me,” He offers shyly. Based on his body language, you can practically predict where this conversation is going. “I wanted to ask if you wanted to be study partners? I sit behind you in class and all of your notes seem so organized. And to be honest, I’m a bit lost,” He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly as he looks down at his toes.

Okay so not totally what you expected but it falls under the he-wants-to-hangout-alone-because-he-probably-wants-to-ask-me-out umbrella. And you’re not assuming this because you’re conceited, stuck up, full of yourself, etc. It’s because men are simple creatures and it doesn't take a genius to guess what they’re thinking…most of the time. Felix is the apparent exception to that rule.

But, so what if he wants to ask you out? Now that you’re looking at him, he is pretty attractive. And he seems sweet, from the handful of times you guys have interacted and the way you’ve seen him talk to others. It wouldn’t kill you to hangout with a new guy to get your mind off of Felix.

You smile back at him, this time it was more genuine than the last one. “I’d love to. When were you thinking we could meet up?” You dig around your bag for your phone.

“I’m free now, if you want. We could grab a coffee or something?” His eyebrows raise and his eyes widen just slightly, enough for you to see he really doesn’t want you to reject him. And it also means you’re correct! Ladies and gentlemen, men are predictable! But f*ck, you would be dumb if you passed up an opportunity to have some coffee with this very attractive man.

“Sure,” You smile again. He lets out a small breath, likely releasing that anticipation he held in.

“There’s a new coffee place just off campus. Maybe you’ve heard of it?” He checks his phone quickly and shoves it into the pocket of his coat. His very.. Fashion forward trench coat. God, he has a killer sense of style.

The coffee shop he was talking about was the one you went with Delaney. The very same one where you overheard Chris and Felix talking.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of it,” You decide not to let on that you’ve already been there.

“Awesome!” He beams.

You have to admit, spending time with a guy that wasn’t Felix, was nicer than it seemed in your head. You were just so used to his mannerisms and waking up hearing him that it almost made it seem impossible that you’d be spending time with another guy that wasn’t him.

Eventually, he told you his name was Heo Seong-Jin, which was a really pretty name and it fit him nicely. He had a nice way of holding a conversation and it flowed really nicely; it didn’t feel forced in any way. Gosh, you almost forgot what it was like to meet someone new.

“I’m sorry, I forgot we were supposed to be studying,” He let out a small, breathy laugh as he ran a hand through his dark hair. What is it with you and guys with dark hair?

“I don’t mind. This has been a really nice conversation,” You admit with a shy smile. The warm coffee in between your palms helped ground you. He returns your smile without hesitation.

“So about the project..,” He shakes his head slightly as he pulls his bag up and into his lap, pulling out his laptop and setting it gently on the table. You straighten up in your seat, pushing your mug to the side to divert your attention to his screen.

Outside of the shop, Chris and Felix walk by. Because you were sitting by a window, you caught Felix’s attention immediately. And his eyes zeroed in on the guy sitting across from you.

“Felix, you alright, bro?” Chan’s concerned voice pierces through his thoughts like an icicle. He swallows.

“Do you wanna grab some coffee?” He mumbled, still zoned out. Chan’s eyebrows furrow as he follows Felix’s gaze. And his eyes soften for a moment.

“Felix..,” He starts, placing a hand on Felix’s shoulder. He brushes it off almost immediately.

“I just want something warm right now,” He turns to face Chan. And Chan isn’t 100% convinced but decides to give in. He trusts Felix not to do anything destructive.

The duo head inside and the cozy atmosphere is welcomed by Chan. Warmth coming from the heater and the numerous amounts of espresso machines sucks him in. The lofi music playing overhead on the speakers sparks a peace in Chan that he wasn’t expecting. He could only hope it was having the same effect on Felix.

Felix was anxiously chewing on his nails, straining his ears to listen to what you and Seong-Jin were talking about. But with the hustle and bustle of a coffee shop in the late morning, it was hard to pin-point which conversation was yours. He gave up when he made it to the counter and placed his order.

“So, I think if you did this,” you move some things around on Seong-Jin’s desktop, “and placed your calendar here with some new alerts, you could be really productive on your own.”

“Huh. I never thought of setting alerts like that,” He sat back and crossed his arms, a smile gracing his lips.

“Yeah, it works for me,” You glance at him as you finish up.

“I have a double shot oat milk latte and a hot chocolate for Felix at the bar!”

Your blood runs cold. A shiver makes its way from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Why was he everywhere?! Or rather, why was his name everywhere? As much as you didn’t want it to be true, Felix wasn’t a very common name, not in Korea. And as much as you wanted to assume it wasn’t him, there was no denying it. But, maybe if you didn’t turn towards the bar, you wouldn’t have to talk to him again so soon.

Too bad Seong-Jin didn’t get the memo.

“Hey, isn’t that your roommate?” He nudges his head towards the bar as Felix grabs his latte and hands Chris his hot chocolate. You can’t help but glance in his direction.

“Yeah,” You mumble, watching Felix take a sip from his latte and it looks like it takes everything in him not to make a face. “But he doesn’t like coffee. I don’t know what he’s doing grabbing a latte,” You grumble bitterly.

“Did something go down between you and him?” Seong-Jin captures your attention as you look back at him. You blink twice.

“No?” Is all you can offer. He makes a face and yours drops with a sigh. What you wouldn’t give to be good at lying in situations like this.

“Things are just complicated, right now, between him and I. Don’t worry about it though. We’re in the process of patching things up,” You flash him a smile for reassurance and you think to yourself; man, I nailed that!

“I get it. I was beefing with my roommate a month or two ago. It wasn’t pretty,” He recalls, crossing his leg under the table. And you’re grateful he doesn’t press for more details.

You lose track of time as you continue your conversation with Seong-Jin. Leaving the coffee shop with his number, you feel happiness sink back into your body and you feel accomplished; you made a new friend (and met a potential romantic partner) and you were able to study with him for a little bit.

Heading to your dorm was more fun than normal. There was a light coat of snow on the sidewalk and you got to observe the last batch of trees with leaves still hanging on. Quiet music pumped through your headphones as you, for once, were not plagued with thoughts of Felix. It felt so relaxing.

So much so that when you entered your dorm and saw Chris there with Felix, you felt energized. If hanging out with Seong-Jin was always going to result in you feeling like this, you were most certainly going to do it more often.

“Hey Chris! Happy to see you again,” You chirp, sliding your jacket off and holding it between your hands. His eyes crinkle as he smiles back and you see those gorgeous dimples of his form a crease in his golden cheeks. Even in the Fall, Chan’s skin is a gorgeous tan and you couldn’t be more jealous.

“You too! How did your class go this morning?” He sets his hot chocolate down and you forgot that you basically ran into both him and Felix a couple hours ago. Speaking of Felix, where did he go?

“Oh, it was okay. 3 hour lectures are never my favorite. So much info.. My brain can barely hang on to it,” You groan as you fall back onto the couch beside him. He chuckles beside you.

“Tell me about it. Those have to be the worst. Especially in the morning. I don’t know how you do it,” He glances at you as he shakes his head softly, almost in disbelief.

“Well, it’s my only class that’s that long and it’s also my only class today so, it’s not that hard to manage. Plus, I was treated to some free coffee which made it all worth it,” You giggle softly, closing your eyes and basking in the warmth of your dorm. A comfortable silence falls between the two of you, the only sound being that of Chan periodically sipping his new hot chocolate.

“Oh, I thought I heard a new voice,” Felix’s soft voice trails in from the hallway and you open your eyes to see him rounding the corner to come sit beside Chris. You sit up to take a look at him; he changed from his bulky winter coat and was now in black sweats and an oversized t-shirt. Very on brand for him.

With Chan quite literally in between the both of you, you wondered how awkward things could be and you decided to just… talk to him.

“How was your class this morning, Lix?” You start, pulling one of your legs up to the couch. Chan quietly looks at him.

“It got canceled,” Is all he said.

You hummed softly. “That must be annoying, I’m sorry.” He merely hummed in response, shrugging his shoulders for added “emphasis.”

Well, this wasn’t getting anywhere.

“Did you guys stop by that new coffee shop today?” You question, trying your best to appear nonchalant as you prop your elbow on your knee and rest your chin on your palm.

You don’t miss the way both of them freeze.

“Uh, yeah. We popped in for a minute. I wanted some hot chocolate so I pulled Felix inside but you know him. He insisted on paying for me,” Chan responds for him. His head lolled back against the couch gently as he turned to look at you.

“Ah, yeah I thought I heard the barista call out your name, Felix,” You softly answer. There was a small pause as you waited for him to say something, or do something.

Nothing.

So you continued.

“You guys didn’t see me? I was sitting by the window,” you probed just a little bit more.

“You looked busy,” He returned. You finally noticed that he was on his phone. You felt dejected that he wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation.

Or to you.

“I was just studying with a friend,” You mumble, now pulling your other leg up to the couch.

“Yeah, so you were busy. We didn’t want to bother you,” He looks up from his phone for half a second before going back.

Chan sitting in between the both of you was forgotten. He sat as still as a statue. The tension must be getting to him because it started getting to you. And you could only imagine how awkward he must feel right now.

“We’ll say hi next time. We also were in a rush; I needed to pick something up for Hyunjin at the store since he was in his classroom” Chan swoops in to save the day. He gives you an apologetic smile.

“No worries. Seong-Jin and I were starting on a thing for our sociology class,” If Felix wasn’t going to contribute to the conversation, the least you could do was talk to Chris.

“I haven’t heard you talk about Seong-Jin before,” Felix speaks up from behind Chan’s shoulder. You look past Chan’s face towards Felix. He put his phone away and was now looking at you as well.

“I haven’t. We just became friends today,” You blink twice. He stares back before sitting back against the couch.

“Um.. he..,” You trail off, your train of thought coming off its rails as you try to collect your thoughts again. Chan gives you an encouraging look.

“He wanted to be study partners because he thinks I take good notes. And his grade in that class is kind of tanking right now. Which, I don’t blame him. It’s a pretty tough class,” You start rambling, trying to get back on track with your original thoughts.

Felix scoffs. “He probably just wanted an excuse to talk to you.”

A frown makes its way to your face. Chan’s expression just turns slightly uncomfortable.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You question Felix.

“No guy just goes up to someone asking to be study partners because he likes their notes. He has ulterior motives,” He speaks matter-of-factly, like he personally knows Seong-Jin.

“And what if he does have ulterior motives?” You could feel yourself just spitting out whatever word vomit came to mind. You could hear the immaturity in your words and yet you didn’t have enough self control to stop it.

Felix stares at you incredulously. “I’m just trying to look out for you. You don’t strike me as someone who doesn’t already know what he potentially wants,” He scoffs again.

“Is it so hard to believe I could also be interested in him?” You co*ck your head to the side, trying to make him believe you were right. Instead, his gaze hardens and his jaw clenches.

“Then go out with him, then! You can make your own decisions,” He declares, a scowl contorting his usually soft features. He sinks back into the couch, pulling his phone out yet again and crossing his legs.

f*ck. You didn’t mean to make him mad or make him say he’s practically fine with you dating this guy you’ve just become friends with. It made you feel queasy. It definitely wasn’t the response you were looking for.

Your legs carried you off of the couch and out of the living room into your room. How is it that in a matter of a few minutes, you managed to royally screw things up. Why would you say that?! After the uncomfortable talk you had with him yesterday about boundaries, it feels like it was all for nothing and you were back at square one. Maybe even further back than square one.

You had absolutely no idea where you were going to go from here.

Chapter 10: Denial

Chapter Text

“You know, I think these three weeks before winter break are what some would call Hell,” Seongjin breathes out with a laugh. A chuckle leaves your mouth as you non verbally agree with him.

About 2 weeks after he first approached you, you developed a schedule with him. And you really did just study with him. It was a little crazy to you how you guys managed to become pretty close in just a few weeks but you were grateful for it nonetheless. Without him, you probably would’ve been in a worse state than before and would’ve started only leaving your dorm to go to class. A few times per week, even Changbin treated you out, but you suspected it was because he was just trying to get your mind off of what was happening at home. Which was really sweet of him; you enjoyed your lunch dates with him.

“I think our professors purposely make the classes harder during this time of the year to make sure we don’t slack off,” You add, sipping your usual mug of coffee. Because of your frequent visits, you grew to know some of the baristas by name and they knew yours. It was a nice transaction.

SeongJin laughs at your response, his eyes crinkling in a very familiar way to you. Something about him was warm, and inviting, not in the way Felix was, but in a different way. And you embraced it with open arms.

“How has your research paper been coming along, by the way? I’ve been wondering,” You ask, wiping your mouth with a napkin. He averts his gaze and you catch a small blush dusting his cheeks.

“I think it’s no good. I’m not really a writer which, I know, you kind of need to be to pursue something in this field but damn, I suck with words,” He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. You flash him a sympathetic smile as you grab the corner of his laptop and turn it to you.

The paper wasn’t bad, per se, it just needed a few edits here and there and maybe a transition word or two but then it’ll be pretty good. You relayed this information to him and he turned the laptop back to himself, taking a few minutes to edit his paper.

“You think this sounds better?” He turns the screen back to you and you read the highlighted sentence. You beam at him as you nod happily.

You miss the way his eyes soften at you for a moment.

“Loads better. I think you’ll be getting a high score on this,” Your eyes rake over it one last time before returning it to him. He looks relieved and you’re glad you could help. Glancing outside, you’re a bit surprised to see it so dark. So you grab your phone to check the time and it was about 5:30 pm. An idea makes its way into your brain and you chew on your bottom lip as you ponder it.

“Hey do you wanna come over? I know we normally end our sessions here but I’d love to keep hanging out,” Your finger taps alongside of your mug while you avoid eye contact.

“Are you sure your roommate won’t mind? I know you mentioned things were tense with him,” He starts packing up his things.

“No. Felix mainly keeps to himself these days,” Your eyes cloud over distantly as you flatly respond.

“Then, sure if that’s not a problem,” He smiles as he slings his bag over his shoulder. You nod up at him as you stand up to help tidy up the table.

Twisting the door handle to your apartment, you’re surprised to hear voices coming from the inside. You peek your head in to see who Felix has over for company and it’s Chris again. You should’ve guessed but hey, as long as Felix isn’t back to isolating himself.

“Hey guys I brought my friend over,” You announce quickly as you swing open the door and allow Seong-jin to come through. Both of their heads glance in your direction but quickly go back towards the TV. It seems like you’ve walked into them playing Mario Kart.

Behind you, Seongjin is slipping off his shoes quietly and you follow his lead and do the same. You tread into the living room, slipping into the seat beside Felix and motioning for Seongjin to follow you. You both wait patiently for them to finish this round.

And as Felix crosses the finish line in first and Chris on his trail in second, they pause the game and look in your direction.

“Sorry about that,” Chan turns with his trademark smile and you can just absorb the warmth that resides within his dimples.

“No worries,” Seongjin answers back with a smile of his own. Felix sits back against the couch as he places his controller down on the table and looks in your direction.

“Felix, Chris, this is Seongjin. I mentioned him to you guys before, remember?,” You gesture over to him. Seongjin makes a quick face, the same one he makes when he’s thinking about something.

“Those names.. Are you both foreigners?” He looks in between them. Chris beams as he sits up a little straighter and you swear you can see the ghost of a smirk on Felix’s face.

“Yep. I was born here in Korea but was raised in Australia. And Felix-”

“Born and raised Down Under,” He chimes in, pride written all over his face. Seongjin smiles widely.

“That’s really cool!’ Seongjin moves around in his seat and you’re pleased to see all three of them engage in easy conversation, even if you’re not directly involved.

“You can call me Chan, if you want. It’s my Korean name,” Chan offers. Seongjin nods thoughtfully.

“And my Korean name is Yongbok,” Felix adds.

Stealthily, you decide to stand up and grab some tea for everyone. To be honest, you were concerned by what Felix’s reaction would be to Seongjin but it seems to be going well between the two of them. A peaceful atmosphere surrounds the four of you as you make your way into the kitchen.

The freshly steeped earl gray smelled so warm and comforting and you were sure it was going to provide some of the boys that same warmth. You inhaled softly as the steam reached your nose. The cups were all neatly placed on a tray as you returned to the living room. The conversation dies down as they all turn their attention towards you as you distribute the cups.

“Thank you,” Chan murmurs softly as he takes his cup. Felix and Seong-jin give their hums of appreciation.

“So, Seongjin, do you have any hobbies?” Felix asks.

The conversation from a few weeks prior, when you first mentioned Seongjin to both of them, comes back to your mind and you can’t help but glance over at Felix. If he had any other intentions, it wasn’t shown on his face. He was calm, a very neutral look sat on his soft features.

“Well, I like taking care of my plants in my spare time. My mom taught me how to care for them so it’s something I do to relax. Also, you can just call me Jin if you’d like,” He answers sweetly.

“Oh, wow, I didn’t know you had a green thumb,” Your eyes shine with curiosity as you jump into the conversation.

“A green thumb?” He questions, taking a sip from his tea. The three of you all let out small laughs and he glances around.

“It’s an expression in English. It means you’re good at taking care of plants,” Chan chuckles softly, holding his tea cup in between both of his hands, the way one does when they’re cold. Now that you think about it, it was rather chilly in your apartment.

“Ohh, I see.” Jin relaxes back in his seat, a smile adorning his charming lips.

“So, Jin,” Felix captures his attention again as you pour yourself more tea. The steaming cup warms your hands as you tentatively wait for Felix’s question. He looks down at his cup as he swirls it gently, attempting to seem laid back.“You got a girlfriend?” He co*cks his eyebrows.

By the grace of god, you somehow managed to keep a straight face. Although, you also inhaled really quickly and ended up choking on your own saliva. And at this moment, you didn’t know if having a reaction would’ve been worse.

You settle on suffering in silence as a choked sound leaves your throat which catches Jin’s attention briefly but you brush it off as your unsteady hands bring your cup up to your lips to wash down your blocked airway.

“I’m sorry, would you mind repeating yourself?” Jin gives Felix an apologetic look and all you could think is how he is so undeserving of that.

Felix flashes back a genuine looking smile as he responds. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

Seongjin lets out a small breath and all you could do is stare at Felix and hope that he doesn’t notice. If Felix can feel your laser gaze, he doesn’t acknowledge it. Jin is gazing at his tea and dragging his finger on the rim of it as he answers. “No, but I’m just mainly focused on my studies for right now,” He finishes while looking up at both Chan and Felix and Felix seems satisfied with his answer.

“What about you?”

And honestly, that was the million dollar question you wanted answered. It wasn’t what Jin wanted. It was what Felix wanted.

And you found yourself taut like a rubber band with anticipation.

“Oh,” Felix blinks up at him, visibly caught off guard as his smile falters for a moment. “Uh, well..,” His gaze roams around the room and he shifts in his seat, a habit you’ve grown to know. He chuckles, almost nervously. “I’m not really looking for something now either.”

Well, that’s that.

“I’ll be right back, I need to use the restroom,” You excuse yourself quietly. And maybe to everyone else it looked like an excuse to get away, but it wasn’t. You felt relieved.

And you actually did need to use the bathroom.

~~

Felix’s eyes follow you out of the living room inconspicuously before he continues his answer. “But, if an opportunity were to arise with someone I’m attracted to, then I wouldn’t exactly say no, you know what I mean?” He returns to his “chill guy” persona as he finishes his answer, gesturing to Jin to almost coax him into agreeing. Jin laughs and nods.

“Yeah I know exactly what you mean.”

~~

It was a pleasant surprise for you when you returned from the bathroom to find the three of them playing Mario Kart. Jin spares you a glance as you cross his field of vision to return to your seat and you send him a quick smile. Chan and Felix are arguing in the back as you move your attention towards the tv.

“Oh you f*cking bitch, Shy Guy!” Felix curses loudly as he’s hit with a green shell. You let out a small laugh as you watch the separate screens.

“Jin, you’ll have to excuse their vocabulary. They curse a lot,” You place a hand on his shoulder and give it a light pat as you apologize.

“No worries. I’ve never played Mario Kart with such enthusiasts before. They make it fun,” He laughed back as he released a red shell and hit Princess Daisy as he crossed the finish line in 4th place.

“God, if Shy Guy wasn’t an asshole, I would’ve gotten first and not 6th,” Felix grumbles as he looks at the results (Chan placed 3rd).

“Felix, maybe you should bomb Shy Guy’s house.” You casually mention as you stand up to go into the kitchen.

“Yeah, you think so?” He looks up at you with a smirk. You just return it as you glance over your shoulder. Behind you, you can hear Felix continue the conversation as he turns to who you assume is Chan.

“I think I’ll call in an airstrike and have it kill his entire family,” He sighs heavily. “It’s nothing personal, Shy Guy.” He tuts softly as you hear the countdown for the new race go off.

“Hey man, he’s just a little guy,” Chan steps in to defend Shy Guy as you return with a bowl of chips. You place it in your lap as you cross your legs comfortably.

“He’s a little guy who deserves to get bombed. That’s all,” Felix returns innocently. Jin is just quietly paying attention to the two of them with a smile.

“Am I ever gonna get to play? Just asking,” You interrupt their banter.

“Nope. You’re just gonna keep running into walls and falling off the edge like last time,” Felix shakes his head.

“Hey, I completed a lap last time!” You exclaim, reaching over to swat his arm. He yelps softly as he moves away.

“You know you’re supposed to complete three, right?” He arches a brow and glances over at you.

“I just felt like completing one,” You turn your nose up into the air as you shift your attention back to the tv.

“You can take my spot after this race,” Jin offers.

“Hah, don’t worry about it, Jin,” You airly laugh.

“No, really. I’ll help you,” He turns to you with the controller outstretched as he waits for you to take it. You look at it for a moment before setting down the bowl onto the coffee table and taking the controller.

“Okay fine. I just need to know the controls again,” The controller is small in your hands since you’re only using half of a switch controller. It’s not what you’re used to.

“Oh, yeah just put your hands like this,” Jin reaches over and moves your hands with his and…

You didn’t expect a wave of warmth to overcome your body.

It ended up distracting you to the point where you stopped paying attention to what he was saying and the directions he was giving.

“...And if you push down on this button, it uses your mystery box item,” He pushes down on the button with your finger gently.

“Oh.. uh huh,” Your response sounds dazed even to yourself. You didn’t want to imagine what it sounded like to the other three guys.

You miss the way Felix and Chan exchange a look.

“You got it?” Jin checks one last time as your eyes rake over the buttons one last time before Felix chooses a cup to race.

“Yes I think I can manage,” You look up as you move the controller down to a comfortable position.

“I chose the egg cup because all of the tracks are cool. If you want, you can turn on assisted steering so that you don’t fall off the edges,” Felix offers as the mini-trailer for the first race plays on the tv. You nod slowly as you take in all of the colors and the track itself.

A glance over to Jin to help yourself feel better and he looks back at you and gives you a thumbs up. The countdown commences and about a half second between the number 2 and 1, Felix and Chan’s characters start accelerating so you mimic them and press down as well. The three of you take off and around the first turn.

You spare a glance to your minimap about halfway through the twists and turns. “Wait a sec, are we racing around Yoshi?” You ask, doing your best to twist the joycon and make it around the turn.

“Yeah the track is called ‘Yoshi Island,’” Jin responds.

“That’s so cute! I should’ve picked Yoshi then,” You tut softly as you watch Rosalina fly off the edge again.

“Do you need to turn on assisted steering?” Felix quickly asks. “I’m about to lap you.”

Sure enough, a quick glance to the minimap shows Felix about 3-4 turns behind you. A frown makes its way to your lips as you consider it. “What will that do?”

“It prevents you from falling off the edge or going on the grass. So you basically just have to accelerate and you still have to turn, but you don’t have to control it as much,” Chan explains as he pauses the game.

You glance up to the screen and read all the controls, determined to find the assisted steering button. You press maybe 2 buttons before Felix points it out to you.

“I knew that,” You plaster a big smile on your face as you hurriedly unpause the game, hoping to catch both guys off guard. Unfortunately, they were able to keep going as if nothing happened.

And, despite the apartment being chilly earlier, it didn’t feel as cold now.

~~

“So, hold up, what the hell happened to Felix?” Delaney shook their head. Their eyes were scrunched closed as they processed what you had just told them.

“Uh.. what about Felix?” You answer back, resisting the urge to scratch your neck.

Delaney fixes you with a look that blows away your weak facade with ease. A sigh leaves your body as you deflate in your seat.

“We just grew apart these past few weeks over something that could’ve been preventable. And even though we tried talking it out, multiple times, nothing got solved. He’s being so…immature about this! And it’s not like I had feelings for him in the first place, right? So, I wouldn’t even say he was an option! He’s my best friend,” It just all comes pouring out before you have the capabilities to filter it out and think about your response. So, you end up just staring at the spot in front of you for a moment before returning your gaze up to Delaney.

“Okay, well for one, you guys kissed. Two, you technically initiated it,” Delaney stirs their coffee with their straw lightly as they look off to the side. “And, you were all wrapped up in it. It didn’t leave your mind.”

“That’s because I haven’t kissed anyone like that in a couple years.. Give or take,” You quickly say, taking a bite of your pastry.

“Love, are you one hundred percent sure you didn’t have any feelings for him? And furthermore, are you sure you’re not projecting?” Delaney pokes. They fix you with a gentle look as you chew thoughtfully.

“I don’t even know anymore. I could just be projecting. But…” and you trail off. You were unsure of Delaney’s first statement. Your eyes dance around the table, flitting from one part of it to another, and back. “I guess… yeah, you could say I had feelings for him at one point.”

Delaney smiles back at you at your confession. “I’m glad you can recognize that. Maybe that holds some sort of key that’ll help you sort things out now? So that you don’t have anything on the table?” Delaney offers with a small shrug.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m piggybacking off of what I said before, about projecting? You were calling him immature for not being able to talk to you about this and handle it well, but maybe because you had feelings for him, you were the one unable to clearly communicate. Which in turn left him feeling confused and also unable to clearly communicate?,” Delaney explains. And you must admit, it does sound very possible. But you’d need time to explore that. For one, you just admitted to yourself you had feelings for your roommate.

“Maybe. Could you elaborate more on how you think me having feelings for him could’ve screwed up my communication?” You sit up in your seat, picking up your steaming mug of coffee. Delaney scoffs silently with a small smile on their striking features.

“Here you are able to have a conversation with me about something serious,” Delaney gestures between the two of you as you silently nod to show your engagement, “yet whenever you talk to him, you’re not able to sort your thoughts out and say what you’re able to say. And then you call him immature for not being able to deal with this. You see what I'm saying?” Delaney asks.

Their words cause a wave of guilt to crash over you. And you fight the urge to not slam your head into the unstable wooden table you’re sitting at.

“Oh, Delaney, how the f*ck am I going to fix this?” You mumble softly, shifting your head into the palm of your hand. Delaney reaches out a manicured hand towards yours and grips it firmly.

“You’re already on the right track; you’ve already acknowledged that you did something wrong.” Delaney affirms. “In this case, the best thing might just be to pretend everything is normal. If our theory is correct and Felix is just going to go follow your lead, he should have no issues with this either.”

“You think so?” Your hand squeezes theirs back. Delaney gives a light nod. All you have left to do is return it, and it makes you feel better; almost lighter, in a sense.

“So, you have feelings for Seongjin?” Delaney’s cheeky smirk creeped up to their face and you couldn’t resist a small blush.

“I’d rather not talk about it in public. It could get back to him,” You informed, waving a hand in front of your face.

“Even if we’re speaking in English on purpose?” Delaney all but whines. A chuckle leaves your body.

“Yeah. But, you could come over if you’d like. I’m sure Felix would love to see you,” You hurriedly offer.

“I do miss his baking,” Delaney already starts packing up. You never have to tell them twice. A quick text sent to Felix confirming if it was okay, and you two set off on the twenty minute walk back to your apartment.

~~

“Felix!” Delaney squeals as they enter your apartment.

“Shoes!” You remind them as they stumble to backtrack in front of your door to take off their boots. Your eyes gaze fondly at the both of them as Delaney envelops Felix in a hug. Felix is taller than you by maybe a hair, but he shrinks in comparison to Delaney.

“Long time, no see, Delaney,” Felix smiles up at them as Delaney removes their jacket. “What have you been up to?”

“Oh, you know, going to class, volunteering, working, meeting people. The works,” Delaney lists, sitting down on your couch as you greet Felix and also remove your winter coat.

“You sound pretty busy. Too busy to stop by here it seems?” Felix smirks softly as he leans against the couch.

Delaney waves him off with a dignified grin. “Hey, I haven’t even had time to myself lately.”

Felix is quiet for a moment, not having a response. Instead, his eyes flit over Delaney’s stylish appearance; their beautiful long braids that went from their natural hair to white, their dangly earrings, and how their arms were decorated with lots of handmade bracelets. He suppressed another smirk as he pushed himself away from the couch.

“Nice nails,” Is all he says. Delaney shoots him an annoyed glare with a smile.

“I got these done this morning. But thank you for observing,” Delaney sinks back against the couch cushions as you return from your room with your hair now tied up. You gingerly sit beside Delaney as Felix makes his way to join the two of you on the couch.

“You didn’t bring me anything?” He glances at the two of you as Delaney breaks out into a Cheshire-like grin.

“I was hoping you’d make us your world famous brownies,” Delaney bats their eyelashes at Felix.

“I feel like I should’ve seen this coming,” He says with a sad sigh. His head hangs back against the couch for a moment before he gets up from it and walks the short distance into the kitchen.

Delaney all but smirks this time as they return their attention back to you.

It remains calm in your apartment for the time being. The easy conversation flows between you and Delaney and before you knew it, the apartment was flooded with the smell of Felix’s brownies.

“You know, I hope you enjoy them. One day, I won’t make these for you anymore,” He simply states as he sets down a plate full of them. Your gaze lingers on him for a minute as he smiles at Delaney. They attack the brownies, grabbing two squares and placing them onto a napkin as they settle back against the couch.

“I will definitely enjoy them. One might even say take advantage of,” Delaney says through a mouthful.

“Thanks, Felix,” You murmur softly, also helping yourself to a square. His eyes flit across your face briefly as he takes in your relaxed features, a sight he hasn’t seen in a while. And he can’t hold back a small smile as well.

“Sure, no problem. I’ll leave you both here with them, then,” He offered, starting to make his way back to his room.

“Actually,” you catch your mouth moving faster than you can put a stop to it, “would you like to stay and chat with us?” By some miracle, you manage to pry your eyes from the coffee table and meet his.

He looks to be considering your offer for a moment. His eyes hold no trace of anger or any negative emotion you were expecting to see. They were just.. Surprised. Maybe even a little hopeful.

Felix looks over at Delaney for confirmation that he was welcomed and Delaney makes a gesture for him to come and sit. I mean, as if he would be unwelcomed in his own apartment.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” He grins and you’re overjoyed to see the corners of his eyes crinkle. A warm feeling settles in your chest at the sight.

Time passes as the three of you eat away Felix’s tray of brownies and chat. You chat about everything. It’s nice to catch up with what Felix has been up to lately since all you’ve gotten is “Yeah school’s good. Professors have sticks up their asses but what’s new?” and “I’m doing fine.” Hopefully, this means you can turn over a new leaf with him (and with yourself) and actually go back to how things were.

“Oh, we never finished our conversation about Jin, did we?” Delaney looks over to you with a cracker between their now dully glossed lips (somewhere in the hour you spent talking Felix had gone and fetched you more snacks).

You finish exhaling a laugh. “What about Jin?”

Delaney simply rolls their eyes. “C’mon. How you think you have a crush on him? Does that ring a bell?”

You avert your gaze to the pillow in your lap as your eyes grow large. “Yes, I remember now.”

“You like Seongjin?” Felix chimes in, reaching towards the coffee table for a chip. The crunch sound of it catches your attention as you look at him from your place on the floor. Searching his eyes for any kind of animosity or even prejudice. But you find… curiosity. A shining curiosity that you can’t tell makes you feel worse or better.

“I..,” You swallow. “Yeah, I think so,” Your hand scratches at your neck softly.

“We were talking about it in that coffee shop on the street corner. You know, the one near that nice record store?” Delaney remarks.

“Oh, yeah I know that one,” Felix lifts up his legs and sits criss-cross. “Chan and I were there a few days ago. He likes their hot chocolate.”

“Yeah she and I were discussing it there, in English, but she made us come here because she thought people could eavesdrop and somehow it’d make it back to him before she could sort her sh*t out,” Delaney explains in one quick exhale before munching away on a chip. Felix makes a face in agreement with Delaney as they offer him the bowl of chips.

“Yeah, loads of students are semi-fluent in English. I’m sure they could’ve picked up Jin’s name and mentioned it to him," He adds.

“See, Delaney? Making us come here was totally rational,” You stick your head out accusingly. Delaney rolls your eyes at your reaction.

“But you totally cut our conversation short,” They retaliated.

“We can literally just finish it now,” You reach up for the last cracker in the bowl and take a sip from your water. Delaney thinks for a moment, chewing with semi-narrowed eyes.

“Sure, whatever. Sooo, are you going to make a move?” They probe. Delaney moves to lay back against the couch, propping themselves up on their elbow.

Your shoulders shrug as you pick at the frays of the rug you’re sitting on top of.

“I think it’s too early to do anything,” You confess.

“What? But haven’t you guys been hanging out for the past, like, three weeks?”

“Yeah, but it’s not like that. We’ve only met up to study.”

“That’s not true. What about like three days ago when he came over?” Felix interjects from his spot on the couch.

“Wait, you’ve met him?” Delaney hurls themselves to sit up.

“Okay but that doesn’t count!” You scramble to pull at Delaney’s arm.

“You haven’t met him?” Felix questions, bringing up his mug of tea to his lips.

“No. Not yet, at least,” Delaney glances back at you with a smirk and lifted eyebrows.

“Hey, I mean it. When he came over it didn't count. I meant one-on-one time with him,” You glower.

“Again,” Delaney emphasizes, turning their torso to face you, “you have! You study with him all the time,” Their hand reaches out to flick your forehead and you swat it away before their fingers make contact.

“I know next to nothing about him,” You respond flatly. Delaney’s hand droops down against the couch.

“So you’re going to wait for him to ask you out?” Felix claimed.

“Should I? It’s normal for the guys to make the first move,” You pull your legs up against your torso, pulling the pillow closer to your chest. It slightly helped slow down your accelerated heart.

“Hey, I say you should be ballsy and just ask him out. But do it in a public setting so that if he wants to try anything, he won’t be able to,” Delaney suggests with a bright smile which heavily contrasts their words.

“Oh, gee, thanks. I forgot I should be worried that he could traffick me. Thank you so much, Delaney. What would I do without you?” You retort. Felix laughs behind her.

“For what it’s worth, he seemed chill when he was here. And he seemed to also enjoy your company. I’d say go for it,” Felix states, setting down a now empty bowl of chips. How the hell did he manage to eat it all??

Your eyes drift in between both of them, weighing the options; your friendship with him is quite new, so maybe it’ll be easier to shake it off if he does reject you. And if he doesn’t reject you, then you’re on the road to get into a new relationship! And seriously, you really want to give it a shot.

“Yeah, I guess I could give it a shot, right?” You finally sigh out, relaxing your shoulders and letting your face fall into its regular state.

Delaney claps excitedly and your eyes shift to where Felix was sitting contentedly. He meets your gaze and gives you a sweet smile with an encouraging nod. A smile dawns on your face with no restraint as Delaney starts talking about something else. And you were eager to now think about something new.

Chapter 11: Half Love, Half Regret

Chapter Text

Feelings of unease coursed through your body as you shifted from one foot to the other. Your nails became brittle and chewed down to a smaller length the past week as you waited outside your apartment complex for Jin to arrive. You could just chalk all this anxiety up to first-date nerves.

Honestly, the way this whole thing worked out made your head spin. The last time you met with Jin to study, you kind of just… asked him out. You were about to separate; you’d go to the comfort of your home, and he’d go to his dorm. But, the way he looked at you. Oh, his eyes. They gleamed under the streetlights. And something just came over you; once again, your mouth moved faster than your thoughts, and you blurted something out. What you said remains a mystery to yourself, but you could only imagine how bad it was.

Surely, it wasn’t so bad, right? I mean, he was the one who planned all of this. And he seemed extremely enthusiastic! And it seemed genuine!

So, here you are. Standing outside in your not-suited-for-autumn outfit, a ribbon tied prettily into your hair, and your fingers almost freezing off. Your coat was warm, but it did nothing for your legs. Felix had offered to wait with you, but you assured him you were okay. You wish you had taken him up on his offer. With no time left to dwell on that thought, you spot Seong-Jin’s car rolling up to the sidewalk. A grin graces your lips as you walk up to it, heels clicking softly against the concrete sidewalk.

Seong-Jin kills the engine and gets out of the driver's seat. He’s dressed in a simple turtle neck with a blazer, dress pants, and some nice shoes. The simpleness of it kind of put you at ease. But it made you feel extremely dressed up. He greets you with that smile of his and he gives you a hug. One that you gratefully return.

“You look beautiful,” His hands are warm against your arms as he holds you for a second, observing. Your cheeks heat up and you break eye contact.

“Thank you,” A small smile emerges on your face as he breaks away and walks you over to the passenger door. As expected, he opens the door for you. It’s a small gesture, but it’s one you take note of.

“So,” he starts, shutting his door and turning on the engine, “I made a reservation at that Italian place nearby. All of my friends have said it’s great.” He looks over to find you already looking at him. Your eyes break away from his and you look down at the center console.

“That sounds great. I am pretty hungry,” You comment, smoothing down any wrinkles on your dress. He smiles brightly, flashing his teeth, and starts driving away.

~~

God, you were so anxious for the date that it came, and it went. You could only remember bits and pieces of it. They float around in your mind. Cloudy. Blurry. Unsure. You vaguely remember him talking during dinner, asking things about you. And you had been responding earnestly, hoping, praying, that he couldn’t tell you were out of it. The one thing that stays prominent in your mind, was the kiss you shared with him.

It wasn’t life-changing. It was short and sweet; a simple gesture that demonstrated he enjoyed the evening. You could feel the warmth of his hand on your cheek lingering. He had gracefully walked you up to your door where you bid your goodbyes. Inside your shared apartment, Felix was sprawled out on the couch. His gaze jerked to the sound of the front door being opened and he immediately sat up and paused whatever it was he was watching.

You learned that night that wearing heels took a toll on your feet. A dopey smile rested on your lips as you locked the door and took a second to unbuckle the straps on your shoes.

“So I take it the date went well?” Felix shifts against the cushions.

“I.. yeah I think so,” You say with a non-committal shrug.

“That grin on your face says otherwise. Seems like it went well to me,” He hums observantly.

“Will you believe me if I tell you I can’t remember anything about it?” You sigh heavily as you flop back against the pillows. Your head turns to face him with a tired smile. He breaks eye contact with a smile.

“Unfortunately, yes,” He responds with a curt laugh. Your head lolls back against the edge of the couch, eyes shutting softly.

“Yeah, I really gotta get that checked out, huh?” You muse quietly. Felix makes a noise in disagreement.

“Nah, I think it makes you unique,” He lurches forward, grabbing the apple tv remote to resume whatever he was watching. It turned out to be some western show you heard him talk about a few days ago.

“It’s all fun and games til it turns out to be something that affects my everyday life, Lix,” You chortle softly, poking his arm.

“Why don’t you go change? That outfit cannot be comfortable enough to sleep in,” His eyes do a once over your body, taking in the outfit he briefly saw you in. It was different than anything you had ever worn. It was pretty and almost delicate, in a sense. He didn’t even know you owned clothes that looked like that. Perhaps you were just saving them for a special occasion, he tells himself.

“It’s more comfortable than you’d think. It’s just the shoes that killed me. Those f*cking shoes,” You trail off, muttering something about the insides squeezing your toes.

But, in the end, you head back to your room without protest. A quick change of clothes and the removal of your makeup makes you feel refreshed. The ribbon in your hair comes out last as you sit for a moment just looking at it. The way it feels soft around your finger as you twirl it, the way the underside of it was textured with the grooves sewn into it. It felt lovely, and it wasn’t something you ever wore. You enjoyed seeing other girls wear them and style them. You had always wanted to try it. And yet, maybe it wasn’t for you. It made you feel pretty and prim, but it didn’t feel like…you. It easily gets untied from your hair and you set it down inside your desk drawer, deciding to revisit that feeling another day.

Announcing your sleepy return to Felix, you sink into the comfort of the cozy pillows on your couch. He spares you a glance from his place a few feet away. Your eyes, heavy and lidded with sleep, blink quickly at the tv, trying to absorb the information it was spewing at you. Ugh, your brain couldn’t handle too much more of this stimulation. Your body stiffly rearranges itself to where your head lay on a pillow and you threw a blanket over your legs haphazardly.

“You look exhausted. Why didn’t you just go to sleep?” Felix quietly starts, shuffling over to you so he doesn’t have to talk so loud.

“Wanted to spend some time with you,” was your earnest reply as your eyes started to close.

“But you’re going to fall asleep here,” He argues softly, taking the edges of the blanket you had on and moving it up to your shoulders.

“Then stay with me. It’s not so hard, Felix,” The words tumble out of your mouth and frankly, you don’t have the strength to stop them. They don’t have any sort of correlation, either. You could always just chalk it up to sleep-talking in the morning if he asks about it.

His hand moves up and down against your triceps slowly and he squeezes. He opens his mouth to say something but refrains when he sees you’re already fast asleep. He was faced with the choice of letting you sleep here and sleep alongside you, or returning to his room and leaving you here. But what could he do when you had asked him so sweetly to stay?

There was never a choice to make in the first place.

_________________

If someone had asked you what had happened the night of your first date with Seong-Jin, you would’ve been able to tell them the basics; he took you to dinner, it was a lovely evening, and he even kissed you at your door. It was, by definition, the perfect date. You probably wouldn’t tell them you had a more comfortable time with Felix when you returned home (even if you were half asleep).

But, honestly, you paid little attention to the intricacies of that night. Why? Well, because you had gone out with Seong-Jin a few more times after that, and you opened up to him. The study sessions only paved the way in the beginning. But as time passed, it provided the two of you with a few extra hours in the week where you could see each other. There wasn’t an official title between the two of you, and you didn’t care. You enjoyed going on dates with him and the absence of a title took away a lot of the pressure.

It was the week before Winter Break and also the week of final exams. The project you and Jin paired up for was done and over with (you scored a solid 93!), and you were studying every night, which left little time for anything else. Your bloodstream mainly consisted of sugary drinks, tea, and ramyeon. It wasn’t until two days before the break that Jin shot you a text inviting you out.

[Jinnie <3]

Hey! Ik you’ve been working nonstop this week butttt

Some friends of mine are throwing a party at 7 pm on Friday

And I was wondering if you would be down for that.

[you]

Hey!! Hell yeah! I think it’d be a sick way of kicking off the holiday break

[Jinnie <3]

Sweet! Bring any friend you want :)

See you Friday <3

[you]

<3

And suddenly, everything you were working toward, had a reward. An awesome party with Jin where you could have some drinks sounded like a fantastic idea. A smile spread across your face as you set your phone back down and returned your attention to the paper you had been trying to write for the past hour.

“Hey, Lix, Changbin is inviting us out for dinner tonight. You down?” You entered his room holding your phone out. You happened to catch him as he was creating new notes for one of his classes and he was wearing his glasses. Something about guys in glasses… lord. You swallow unconsciously as he stretches and runs a hand through his ruffled hair.

“Yeah, sure. What time?” He glances at the digital clock on the edge of his desk. It read 5:15.

“Uhhh,” you type the question quickly, and he responds back just as fast. “Six.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I just need to go shower,” Felix shuts off his laptop and closes his notebooks. Felix stands up and stretches, his sweater riding up and revealing a sliver of his adonis belt. Your eyes roam around his room, trying to focus on anything but him.

“I’ll tell him we’re going, then. Uh..,” Your voice trails off as he approaches you. Your eyes blink twice as he looks at you expectantly.

“I need to shower,” He reminds you softly with a small smile.

“Right, sorry,” Your head shakes as you step aside to allow him access to the hallway. He pats your shoulder gently as he passes by, and you wait for him to go inside the bathroom.

Your hand makes its way to the tie that secured your hair in place, and you tug it off, using your fingers to massage your scalp gently as you re-directed your energy to get ready for dinner. The way Changbin had worded his message made you hope he was bringing along some of Felix’s other friends. You missed Minho dearly and couldn’t wait to catch up with the rest of them.

To your delight, Changbin did end up bringing the rest of the guys, save for Seungmin and Han, who had to stay back to study some more. A joyous smile erupted on your face as you hugged Minho. You heard Changbin grumble behind you, talking about how “Minho never lets me hug him.”

“Because I see you every day,” Minho sticks out his tongue at him as he keeps his arm secured around your waist.

“I didn’t know you two were close,” Hyunjin comments as he comes up to you.

“Yeah, we text pretty often,” You break away from Minho to hug him. He hums in understanding with a smile and walks over to Felix.

“Studying going okay?” Minho turns to you as the group starts to walk into the restaurant.

“Yeah, y’know, cramming lots of information and living off caffeine. The works, am I right?” You scoff slightly as you hold the door open for him. He thanks you quietly before responding.

“Unfortunately, you are,” He sighs as he turns his attention to the hostess.

She quietly leads you to a table, and you all shuffle into your seats. She takes your drink orders and leaves you with the menus, and walks off with a polite smile. As it happens, Chan ends up sitting across from you and Minho with Jeongin by his side.

Easy conversation befalls you all as you catch up and talk about any upcoming plans for the holiday break. The majority of them are going to visit family and spend at least one holiday with them and you can’t help but envy them. Almost every day, you wish your family lived in Korea as well.

“Oh hey, Felix mentioned to me that you went on a date with Seong-jin. How did that go?” Chan looks up from his dinner.

You briefly look up at him as you chew and set down your utensil. “It went well! He took me to that Italian restaurant down the street and we just talked a lot.”

Chan hums, cutting his food. “That’s..all?” He probed.

A small, light-hearted, scoff leaves your mouth as you look back down at your plate. “He kissed me at my door,” You admit with a dismissive look.

The way the guys reacted made it seem like you told them you were getting married. Questions were thrown at you and some teasing came with it. Amid the noise, you met Felix’s unreadable eyes across the table.

You had forgotten to tell him.

Felix’s eyebrows were furrowed slightly and he was quiet. But, you don’t really know what kind of response you were waiting for from him.

“So, it was like just a peck or like…,” Minho nudged your arm and looked at you expectantly. A laugh escapes you as you pick up your glass of water.

“You’re all making this out to be much bigger than it is. It was just a peck. Something small. It wasn’t life-changing,” A roll of your eyes seemed to cement your sentiment about it.

“I dunno, normally I don’t kiss my date after the first date because that’s really forward,” Changbin comments.

“I don’t mind it if I knew the person before we went on the date, y’know what I mean?” You gesture to him and he nods twice.

“So, will there be a second date?” Chan asks.

You hadn’t given it much thought. The study sessions were basically dates. You kind of considered them to be.

“I mean, we hang out a lot one on one. I’m not sure if, at this point, I’d say there’s going to be an ‘official second date,’” You decide to lay it all out for the guys. Maybe they can help you figure this out.

“Yeah, I see what you mean,” Jeongin slides into the conversation.

They fall into a conversation about dates and relationships as you sort of faze out of it. You just wanted to spend time with them. And talking about Seong-Jin right now wasn’t what you wanted. So, you opted for eating the rest of your dinner quietly and engaging only when you were asked a question.

The guys bid you and Felix goodnight as you head your separate ways. A fresh breeze made its way to you and weaved through your hair as you silently walked with Felix.

“So he kissed you?” He suddenly asks, kicking a pebble aside. You glance up at him, bringing your hands together.

“Yeah, at the door,” was your response. His eyebrows furrow softly.

“Is that why you were so dazed when you came back inside?” He teases softly. Your lips quirk up into a smile.

“No. I was just tired. As I said, it wasn’t some life-changing kiss,” You affirm. Though, you weren’t particularly sure why he cared.

Silence fills the space between the two of you.

“So, who was the better kisser?” He inquired. The night air suddenly becomes stifling. A nervous laugh escapes you before you can stop it.

“Who am I comparing?” You tread lightly, worried about his reaction.

“Me and him,” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Oh, God, you had not expected him to just bring that up. Not in the middle of the sidewalk like that.

Felix flashes you a smile as he gazes down at you. His body language was open and receiving. If joking about it removes some of this tension, then so be it.

“Well, I’d have to say you-” You get interrupted by Felix making a sound of triumph. “Only because Seong-jin's kiss seemed… experimental.”

“So, you’re saying if he kissed you like I did,” You swallow a lump in your throat before he continues, “it’d be a fair comparison?”

“I..guess?” Now you’re confused. What was he insinuating?

“Then, I just have to hope he doesn’t kiss you like that, huh?” He grins cheekily but you’re thrown way off course.

“Felix what… why?” Your eyes are glued to the ground as you come to a halt; too confused to keep walking and think about this. He seems to notice your reaction (or lack thereof) and he just looks back at you.

“Race you back to the apartment!” He takes off without another word, like a child.

“Felix!” You shout after him, but it’s too late. He’s out of range, and you just watch his hooded figure disappear from your line of sight.

“God f*cking damn it,” Comes from your lips as you walk after him. At least, now you could spend some time alone with the bombshell he just dropped on you.

Felix arrived home about ten or so minutes before you did. He wiggled out of his hoodie and threw it on his bed. The grin from earlier was wiped off of his face and instead was replaced with a shallow scowl. He collapses into his desk chair and he pulls out his phone to check the time. He was debating on sending you a text. But he wouldn't know what to say. Should he check if you’re okay? Or should he apologize for leaving you behind in the dark? He decided on nothing. A wave of deep regret washed over him as he started changing out of his jeans and slipping off his shirt. That’s when he heard the subtle noise of the front door shutting.

Instead of feeling anger, you felt confusion. Confusion so profound it overtook anything else; feelings of annoyance, the loss of feeling in your toes, and even the exhaustion in your body. You were met with Felix’s half-naked self as you looked up from the doorway. His eyes were wide and doe-like. You fixed him with a tiny frown as you took off your shoes.

“Thanks for leaving me out there, asshole. It was cold,” You turn away from him and walk into the kitchen to make yourself some tea.

“Aw, are you saying I would’ve provided you warmth?” He sounds like he’s trying to tease, but it falls short. His voice was slightly hoarse as he approached you.

“It would’ve been better having you with me than being alone,” Came your response as you set the kettle. You turn and face him. Any traces of anger leaves your eyes as you take in his form; covered in goosebumps and his face. His eyes were apologetic, and his mouth tensed like he was chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking at that moment,” He shakes his head and closes his eyes as a deep sigh is released.

“Just... don’t do it again,” It was almost whispered out to him. The kettle starts shrieking, and it pulls you away from the conversation. “Go get a jacket. You look like you’re freezing.”

He laughs lightly, and you hear his footsteps recede to his room. Speaking of feeling cold, you had just noticed your own hands shaking as you poured the water into a mug. Your hands embraced the mug immediately, disregarding the fact that it holds boiling water and instead welcoming the feeling of warmth back into your palms.

Felix returns and meets you back on the couch with what looks to be an extra sweatshirt meant for you. He gives you a weak smile and hands it to you almost timidly. You take it and set it on your lap as you blow softly on the top of your drink.

It was his way of apologizing. And you knew he meant it.

“Are you going to be awake for much longer? I know you’ve had a long day,” He scratches the back of his neck.

“I could ask you the same,” You pause and glance at him before returning your gaze to your tea. He breathes out a laugh, folding his hands in his lap.

“It depends on you.”

Your head turns to face him as you take your first sip, thinking.

“I don’t want to sleep,” You sigh, pulling your gaze away once more. He’s quiet. No response. He just... watches you. “I don’t know. I don’t feel relaxed enough.”

“Is that why you’re drinking tea?”

“Among other reasons. Mainly, I’m just cold,” You murmur, thumbing at the edge of the hoodie you had yet to put on. The movement catches his eye because he glances down at it. And, without another word, he reaches for your mug gently. His eyes were soft as he carefully grabbed it from you, a bit too slow for your liking. All you could do was watch his hand recede, not even putting up a fight.

“I got that for you for a reason,” He comments, squeezing the mug gently.

“Yeah, sorry, I just was focused on…my tea,” Your words were distant even to yourself. But you brushed it off and slipped the hoodie on. The obscure scent of Felix’s favorite cologne clung to it like he wore this recently.

He handed back your tea without another word and crossed his legs. You took another sip of the scalding liquid and it burned your throat as it went down. To ease the silence between the two of you, you decided to turn on some mindless tv. A children’s tv show that you grew up with ought to make you feel better.

After some time, Felix decided to turn in for the night and you finished watching the episode you were on. Tiptoeing past Felix’s door, you make your way to yours. One lightning-fast change of clothes later, and you’re diving into your bed.

_________________

The rest of the week was a blur but you luckily made it to Friday and had passed all of your exams so far! 7 pm was a ways away so you had time to de-stress before getting sucked into the adrenaline rush of getting ready for a party. Seong-jin had already passed you the address and you had all your details sorted; even Felix was going!

“Hey, Lix, We should leave at around 7:45 ish okay?” You walk by his room and peek inside. He looked up at you from his desk where he was most likely playing Overwatch.

“Doesn’t it start at 7?” He responds, eyes already darting back around his monitor.

“Yeah, but the party won’t be good right at the beginning,” You peer at him a little longer.

“Yeah makes sense. Okay, I’ll be ready before then,” Felix shoots you a smile as you back out and waddle back into your room.

An array of outfit choices is laid across your bed. Do you dress romantically to fit some sort of daydream? Do you dress for a party so you can dance? Do you dress slu*tty just because you can? All of these options sounded good to you. All except, ironically, the romantic one. It was a cute outfit, but not one you’d roll up to a party in.

“Hey Felix when you finish your game, can you come here, please? I need your help deciding an outfit,” You yell across the hall.

“Sure!” He replies.

“Cool, okay,” You breathe out, hands on your hips.

Felix strolls in with his trademark messy hair and glasses. You are sitting at your desk, phone in hand, texting Delaney.

“These the options?” He points to your bed.

“Ah, yeah.”

As he surveys the clothes, your body heats up. Was Felix the best option to help you decide on an outfit? What with the tension from these past few weeks?

“I think this dress is nice,” He picks at the corner of the party dress. He doesn’t look at you as he continues. “I don’t think the other dress suits you. Is it yours?”

“Oh, no, Delaney gave it to me to borrow for tonight. But I wasn’t too sure about it,” A half-lie. It was Delaney’s but they gave it to you. They wanted you to put yourself out there. You were suspecting they wanted you to put your body out there.

Felix hums softly, a non-commital noise. “Makes sense. I can’t see you wearing something like this.”

You feel yourself bristle. “You don’t think I’d look good?”

“No! That’s not what I said. I just don’t think you’d feel comfortable showing all this skin,” His eyes dart up to yours in a bit of shock. Damn, this air between the two of you has you more on edge than usual.

“Sorry. No, you’re right,” You shake your head as you pick up the (slu*tty) dress and throw it over your chair. Felix just observes, watching your movements carefully. He hesitantly pushes up his glasses that had fallen while he was looking down and sees you looking at your shoes.

“Wear your platforms,” He comments simply, crossing his arms. The comment paused your arms in mid-air as you hung up the dress and you turned back to survey him.

“Which ones?” You slide the closet door closed.

“The ones I bought for you,” He slips back around your bed and towards your door. He stands in front of the doorway, hands in his pockets as he calmly watches you. From your point of view, something seems…off. He’s unusually quiet. Normally, he’s overjoyed at helping you pick your outfits and he stays to watch you try them on. Doesn’t seem like he’s too keen on staying this time.

Your response was “Yeah… okay.”

It came out much more distant and distracted than you had intended.

He nods once and his lips tense as he keeps his eyes trained on the floor. Felix is incredibly stiff as he stands there, his body hunched over and taut.

“Okay… Uh, I guess I’ll go get ready as well,” He weakly gestures to his room behind him, and he walks over. Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion. Maybe final exams finally got to him and he’s stressed over results. Well, if that’s the case, then he’ll have the opportunity to release all of that tonight.

Maybe he’s pent-up.

You grimace as the thought flashes through your mind, exhaling exasperatedly. The dress in your hand gets slipped off of its hanger and you quickly change into it, smoothing out any wrinkles. And you head into the bathroom to finish getting ready.

_________________

As expected, the party is bustling as you and Felix arrive. Music can be heard pouring out of the windows and trash is littered across the front yard as a few people mingle about for some fresh air. Felix asked to borrow some makeup for the night and he had put on some black eyeliner and some highlight in his inner corner. It suited him well, you thought as you looked back at him with a smile.

“Do you know anyone who’s here?” You crane your neck back as he catches up with you.

He swipes a hand through his neatly combed hair. “I don’t think so.”

“We should probably stick together, then, huh?” You smile softly as you start to open the front door.

And inside, it was much more packed than you expected it to be. Sure, you assumed it was going to be full, I mean it was a party hosted by college students. But wow, you severely underestimated the capacity. There were almost no lights on, with the exception being the kitchen.

“You made it!” Comes a voice as soon as you weasel your way into the kitchen with Felix staggering behind you. Your ears perk up at it and you turn to the left, coming face to face with Seong-jin. Behind you, Felix rolls up his sleeves carefully as he takes a look around the liquor bottles on the countertop.

“Jin! It’s good to see you,” You smile as you greet him with a hug. He wraps his arm around your waist quickly, pulling you close.

“Likewise.” He pauses, dragging his eyes up and down your dress. His eyelashes flutter for a moment as his lips part. You miss the way Felix glances in your direction and quickly takes a shot, wiping the corner of his lips. “Wow. I’ve never seen you wear something like this.”

“I wanted to try something new for you,” Your hand made its way up his chest slowly and he trailed it with his eyes. He grabs it as you touch his collarbones.

“I love it. Can I get you both something to drink?” He finally looks between you and Felix. And, to be honest, you had already forgotten he had come with you.

“No, thanks. I’ll fix something for myself,” He replies, not taking his eyes off the drink he was mixing. If you could even call it a drink. It looked like tar and you’re not sure it tasted all that good either. He was mixing Dr. Pepper with whiskey. How the hell is he going to keep that down?

Seong-jin was on the same page as you. He gulped with suppressed disgust as his eyes flickered back up to Felix’s uninterested glare.

“Yeah, I’d like something,” You peeled your pupils away from him and gave Jin a weak smile. He nods with a smile as he moves past Felix to the other liquors.

“Hey, Lix. Go easy on the drinking, okay? I don’t want either of us to black out tonight,” You tap his arm, leaning against the counter to look up at him. His eyes are trained on his cup as he relaxes his face.

“Yeah, I know. This won’t get me drunk,” He reassures softly, raising the cup to his lips once more. You hear him wince softly as the tar equivalent goes down his throat and you laugh softly. He swallows the last of it like it was medicine and fixes you with a very forced smile as he sets his cup back down.

Jin comes back with your drink and his and he gingerly hands it to you. A small “thanks” slips past your lips as you take a cautious sip. You welcome the familiar feeling of burning as the vodka travels down your throat along with an ounce or so of grenadine and Sprite. An alcoholic Shirley Temple. It was better than other drinks you’ve had. But it was incredibly weak. You make a note to mix something with a little more punch later.

“You guys just got here, right?” Jin yells over the booming music. You nod gingerly, holding the cup up to your lips. “I hoped so. I was helping my friend take care of something. I was just able to get away from him.”

“Don’t worry about it! We would’ve been fine either way.”

Jin smiles as Felix moves away from the counter, catching your eye. His eyes scan the dense crowd of party-goers like he’s searching for someone. Maybe he spots his target because he starts moving into the ocean of people, and he disappears from your line of sight before you can say anything.

“Is he okay?” Seong-jin leans down close to your ear and causes goosebumps to trail up your neck.

“Oh, Felix? Yeah. He probably just saw someone he knew,” Your head co*cks to the side as you watch people dance and move along to the pop song playing.

“Well, at least now I have you all to myself,” He grins as he puts down his now empty cup. A playful smile rests on your face as you throw your cup into the trash.

“You asking me to dance?” You narrow your eyes softly with a challenge.

“Depends. Do you dance?” He eyes you up and down.

“Of course I do,” You scoff softly. Jin wastes no time grabbing your hand and pulling you into the crowd. And although you weren’t a fan of thick crowds like this, you’d make an exception for tonight.

Sweaty bodies pushed up on every side of you. Yet, your only focus was on Jin and the way he matched your movements. The way he grabbed your hips and dragged his hands up your back. It was rather intoxicating. You had missed this feeling; the feeling of being so connected to someone it made you forget your inhibitions.

Jin was a pretty good dancer. He matched your pace and never asked for more. His movements were fluid and suave like he does this kind of thing often. And he rolls his hips in time with yours, meeting you halfway every time.

Throughout the time you had known Jin, you never pegged him as the sort of guy into this kind of thing; parties and drinking. You had always assumed he was… almost prudish and conservative. This brought out a whole new side you were eager to explore. You were glad he was finally opening up to you as you did with him.

As you danced, you could feel the alcohol entering your bloodstream. But you needed just a bit more. You broke away from Jin as the song ended and stumbled into the kitchen.

Where you found Felix wrapped up in some girl’s arms.

Your throat tightened as you stood there, shoulders drooping. You could only swallow the lump that arose.

Felix had pushed the girl up against the counter, hands on her hips, pressing into her as hard as he could. He looked like a man starved.

You averted your eyes to the kitchen sink and the other drinks surrounding it. Shaky hands picked up a bottle and you went to pour it into a new cup. You managed to accomplish your task without spilling but that story changed when you went to put the bottle back down. The bottle had knocked over a half-full cup all over Felix and the girl he was with and you were mortified.

The pair broke away immediately as alcohol ran down both of their legs, and they exclaimed rather loudly. They turned towards you, the culprit, who still had the bottle in your grasp.

“I’m really sorry. I…I didn’t mean to spill that all over you guys,” You breathed out quickly, eyebrows creased with embarrassment. Your cheeks heated up so quickly, you feared you were going to pass out. Felix blinked for a second like he was trying to recognize you. He called your name, dazed.

“Yes?” You gaze up at him, setting the bottle back down and picking up your drink.

“I thought it was you,” He mumbled. You could tell he had a few more drinks; his speech was still coherent but his reactions were delayed slightly.

“Is this your girlfriend or something?” The girl still trapped against the counter says. He shakes his head softly.

“No, just my roommate,” He reassures, turning his body slightly towards her. He dips his head against her ear so you can’t hear their conversation. Unsure of if you should just leave, you just wait off to the side awkwardly. She giggles and you glance in their direction just in time to see Felix’s hand move up to her waist.

You avert your eyes, no longer wanting to know what they were doing and Felix takes her hand in his. He stops briefly in front of you and parts his lips. Your lips part simultaneously and his eyes dart to them. He glances back up to your eyes and just pulls his girl behind him as he travels through the house. She spares you a small glance as she trails behind him, almost tripping over her own two feet along the way.

A breath of relief leaves your body as your shoulders slump. You quickly down your drink, not even pausing to take a breath. You crush your cup in one hand and toss it absentmindedly into the trash. You manage to find Seong-jin off to the side of the main dance floor talking to one of his friends. He does a double-take when he sees you and immediately excuses himself to meet you halfway.

“Sorry I took so long, I ran into Felix and-”

“You don’t have to apologize so much,” He interrupts with a hand on your shoulder. And you felt like crying. The alcohol amplifying your emotions didn’t help this situation either.

“I’m sorry,” You can’t help but mumble.

“Hey, don’t be. Cheer up a bit, yeah? It’s a party,” He nudges you with his shoulder. You nod your head slowly. Your neck felt like molasses as you moved it.

“Dance with me?” You offer sheepishly.

“I’d want nothing more.”

Now you were the one pulling him into the crowd. The beat of the song synched with your heart, accelerating your pulse. Adrenaline kicked into your nerves as you placed his hand on your hip and pushed yourself against him.

“Keep your eyes on me,” You purred. Your mood turned around entirely, and it threw him for a loop but he followed your lead without question.

You had enough. Enough of Felix and his f*cking mind games, enough of getting the short end of the stick every time, enough of not knowing what you wanted. This ended here. Tonight. With Seong-jin.

You set your sights on his lips and you leaned in without hesitation. Your lips crashed together, melting away any previous negative feelings and replacing them with euphoria. The music fell deaf on your ears as he reciprocated quickly, holding you in place with firm hands and tilting his head into you. You felt the vibrations of his groan against you as his hand slipped behind your neck. Someone bumped into your back, knocking your teeth with his and suddenly reminding you that you were publicly making out with him right now.

Your bodies broke away, both chests heaving. He moved first, latching onto your wrist and tugging you away. A thought made its way into your head as you thought about where he was leading you but you pushed it away.

Once you arrived at your destination, some room, he pulled you inside. It reminded you of the way Felix did the same to you. He locked the door as you pushed him up against it. He licked his lips as his eyes widened and he watched your every movement.

You charmed him like a snake, blinking slowly and maintaining searing eye contact as you moved up and placed your lips on his neck. His head lolled back as you made your way around, pecking softly and licking at his skin gently.

You made your way to the side of his neck where you sucked the skin between your lips, using your tongue to soothe the pain and kissing the area shortly after. His fingers flexed against your clothes, eerily similar to how you remember. You bit down on his neck and he gasped quite loudly. Your head pulls back and you give him no time to think as you attach it back to his lips.

His tongue licks its way into your mouth as he pushes himself off of the door and leads you back to the bed. Even with the alcohol in your system, you can feel the anxiety start to take over. You turn him around quickly without thinking about it and take the opportunity to push him down onto the mattress before he could do it to you. He parts his thighs to let you stand in between them as he rests his hands against your back.

He says nothing as you move to straddle him, choosing to slide his hands down to your hips again. He seemed to like them. Once your legs settled on top of his, he moved his hands even lower, down to your thighs. This action set off a warning bell in your head but your face remained unfazed as you gripped his shoulders. You leaned in to kiss him, but he dodged you and went for your neck instead. He was eager to return the favor he owed you. Jin was gentle compared to you, taking his time to softly kiss your hot skin and caress your thighs.

“You’re like a dream.” He pants in between kisses. He kisses up to your ear, tucking your hair behind it before he continues. “Ever since I first saw you in class, I thought you were gorgeous.”

Expecting some kind of reaction from you, he paused. When you froze for a second, he played it off by just kissing your jaw. Your hands tensed against his shoulders gently, your eyes blinking in the dim room. Jin's fingers thumbed at the edge of your dress.

“Why don’t you take this off for me?”

And that did it for you.

Your hands pushed on his shoulders gently as you broke away from him. Your eyes were foggy, and unfocused as you stared at the bed sheets.

“What?” He questioned, his voice shattering whatever was going on between the two of you.

“No..,” Was your breathy response.

“I didn’t catch that,” He blinked softly. But his facial features were unrecognizable. He was no longer the Jin you had previously known. No, the man underneath you was someone different. And you realized this now. You had to get out. And you had to get out now.

“No. I’m…sorry. I don’t want to do this,” Your legs quickly fall to the floor and you back up quickly from him. Your eyes still hadn’t focused as you pulled down your dress back to mid-thigh.

Seong-jin’s gaze hardened immediately. But his legs remained parted and his hands fell behind him. His demeanor had changed so drastically, it expelled any positive feelings the alcohol was giving you.

“God, seriously?” His hand moved up and he dragged it over his face. That recaptured your attention.

“I spent all this time getting close with you, taking you on dates, pretending like I didn’t know sh*t… and this is what I get in return? A prude?” He hisses. His words were like poison; seeping into the seams of your skin and being pumped throughout your body.

“You mean… this was all fake?” You muster out, arms curling around your body. God, this was not how this night was supposed to go.

“What? Do you seriously think some guy would do everything I did for you and not expect something in return?” He asks like it’s an obvious answer.

“I thought that was the whole point of dating,” You looked away. The feeling of utter betrayal now settles over your body like a wet blanket. Seong-jin laughs and shakes his head. His head raises and he steps forward toward you. Suddenly uncomfortable with the lack of space between the two of you, you back up against the wall.

“You’re dumber than you look,” He murmurs, looking down at you. His eyes that you used to like were now cold and almost lifeless. They were narrowed, as though he was challenging you to talk back. And you didn’t dare. You could hardly breathe as it was.

“You know, the guys all know about you. How you’re incredibly easy but when it comes to f*cking you always chicken out,” He speaks lowly. Your gut tightens at his words.

“What’s wrong?” He coos softly, reaching out to touch your face. But the way you jerk so violently has him hesitating for a minute. He ends up dropping his hand. “You’re all bark no bite, aren’t you? I wish you could put your money where your mouth is. That way, people won’t be led on.”

“Led on?” Suddenly finding your voice, albeit a bit shaky, you respond. “Seong-Jin, I reciprocated everything you threw at me. I even asked you out first!” You exclaim, tears brimming in your eyes.

“Yet, when it counted, you bailed on me,” He tuts softly like he’s talking to a small child.

“I’ve told you before I’m not comfortable with that kind of thing. It’s not my fault you chose to ignore it,” A tear falls from your eye and you’re quick to wipe it away.

“Whatever. Your body is your only redeeming quality. You’re destined to just be a whor*, no matter if you’re still a virgin now,” He spits out. And luckily that ends his verbal berating.

He swings the door open and slams it shut. A gasp of relief exits your body as you resist the urge to fall to the ground. Your shaky knees were barely holding you up but you were sure that if you were to fall now, you wouldn’t be getting up for a long time.

You had to go home. You had to find Felix.

Due to the tears clouding your vision, you bumped into quite a few people on your journey through the house. You had tried calling him a few times but it just went straight to voicemail. So, you were left with no other choice but to look for him on foot.

After clearing the entire first floor, you head upstairs, tripping over a few steps in the process. Seong-jin’s words still rang clear as day in your head as you checked the first few rooms. Curse this big ass house and its big ass rooms.

“Felix?” You slur as you enter what felt like the 50th room.

“Yeah?” Came his voice. You blink rapidly as you see him in the bathroom that you just walked into. He’s alone, surprisingly.

“Felix?” You ask again, stepping further in. He looks you up and down in confusion.

“Yes? It’s me. Are you alright?” He sets down his phone. And you were so relieved to see you that you shut the door and immediately start sobbing.

He rushes forward and he catches you before you crumble entirely to the floor. You collapse in his arms, squeezing his wrist as you cried into his chest. The sobs wracked through your body. You could hear his panicked breathing as he used his free hand to rub your back softly.

“Oh, love. What did he do to you?” He asked quietly, more to himself than to you.

“He- he just wanted me… for my body. He was just another one of those guys, Felix,” You blubbered into his shirt. He stayed silent, choosing to just pull you closer. He reached down in between your bodies to grasp the hand that was on his thigh. He held it in his own and he rubbed his thumb over your skin.

“Let’s go home, okay?” He says once your sobs turn into sniffles. Your head nods against him and he starts to uncross his legs. He squeezes your hand as he helps you stand back up.

“I need to just..,” you don’t complete your sentence as you see yourself in the mirror. Puffy eyes and reddened skin took up the majority of your face, save for your cheeks. Which were stained with a mixture of eyeliner and mascara. A sigh left your body. “I just need to clean my face.”

“Let me do it for you,” Felix offers immediately, reaching for a hand towel and wetting it. He stands back in front of you and gently holds your face as he starts rubbing the towel against your skin.

It was then that you noticed his reddened lips, probably from that girl’s lipstick and his smeared eyeliner. It was giving him a smokier look than when he had first put it on. But you didn’t want to focus on that now. You opted for focusing on his soft hands and the way the cold water was soothing you.

Felix was so gentle as he cleaned up your ruined makeup, cleaning the area around your eyes and down your cheeks.

“You’re too pretty to cry over a guy like him,” His sweet voice says. And it warms you from the inside out.

“Noted,” You laugh softly. Your voice was hoarse from all the crying but you couldn’t care less. Not when Felix was standing in front of you like this.

“I’m serious. He’s a f*cking piece of sh*t,” He takes the towel away from your face for a moment to look into your eyes. All you could do was stare back into his. They enamored you. You nod quickly against his hands.

Felix sets the towel back down on the bathroom countertop before looking back at you for a second. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, squeezing softly. You fight a second round of tears as you inhale his familiar cologne and you grasp at his shoulder. He pulls back just a little to press his lips against your forehead in a prolonged kiss.

When he pulls you back against him, he strokes your hair just the way he knows you like it.

“C’mon. Let’s go back home,” He repeats his words from earlier and you nod with a warm smile. He grasps your hand as he leads you down and out of the party.

And oh. You finally understand why Felix was able to make you feel better so quickly. And you smiled as you thought about it.

Chapter 12: Like a Full Moon, the Predictable Surprises Me

Chapter Text

The following day, you woke up in Felix’s arms. Memories from the previous night were mostly forgotten, with a few exceptions; Your interaction with Seong-jin in the bedroom and Felix in the bathroom was clear as day. Though you cannot, for the life of you, remember how exactly you landed in Felix’s arms.

____________________

Felix walked into your shared home with you clutching his hand. Despite being mostly sober now, your body was exhausted. He helped you through the front door and pulled off your boots. You murmured thanks as he led you to your bedroom.

“Do you need help undressing?” He quietly asks, letting go of your hand. You blink at him sleepily.

“No. I just need you to unzip me, please,” You slur sleepily, turning around and holding your hair up against your head. You hear his quiet shuffling, and his icy hands touch your flushed skin.

Felix delicately grasps your zipper and tugs it down. His fingers flex against your shoulders as he presses a light kiss against them. And you’re sure to forget it the next day.

“Thanks, Lix,” Came your small voice as you stepped forward and started slipping your arms out of its straps. A strangled noise came from his throat as he averted his gaze with a flush crawling up his cheeks. His ears pick up a few sounds as you struggle to put on your pajamas, but he doesn’t dare turn back. His eyes look around your room decorations as he feels you press your forehead against his back. He turns around, startled.

“You feeling okay?” He checks, placing his hands back on your shoulders. Your head nods slowly.

“I need to take my makeup off,” You breathe into him. It warms his chest as he pulls you off of him softly.

“I’ll do it for you. Just sit on your bed, okay?” His soft voice was a lullaby to you. Your eyelids felt like they weighed 100 pounds as you looked at him.

Felix guides you to the edge of your bed, where you plop down and await further instruction. He returned with a slightly damp washcloth, but it was warm. And you had no idea if he soaked it with micellar water or just water, but you didn’t care. All you cared about at that moment was him. And his soft hands.

The delicate way he caressed your face as he held it and wiped your eyes with the cloth made you feel warm. So warm and so…safe. Felix applied gentle pressure to each of your eyes as he took extra care to make sure he removed everything.

When he removed his hands from you, it was reluctant and slow. Like, he wanted to just hold you for a moment longer. His fingers lingered against your cheek, and your eyelids fluttered open.

“How are you feeling now?” Felix folds the towel and places it on your desk.

“Better. Refreshed,” Your shoulders shrug, your voice laced with sleep. Felix lets out an airy laugh as he looks back at you. The more you stare at him, the more you realize how pronounced the bags under his eyes are.

“You should sleep,” Your eyes close once more as you take one of his hands in yours. His eyes focus on your grip as an unreadable expression settles on his face.

“And what about you?” He teases softly, avoiding direct eye contact.

“I’ll sleep too. Don’t worry about me,” You wave Felix off dismissively, brows furrowed.

“We always have the same discussion,” He murmurs. A sleepy groan is the only response he gets from you.

“If you let me go change, I’ll stay with you,” He proposes, pulling his hand back. You weighed your options for a half second before nodding slowly.

Once you hear him walk back to his bedroom, your eyes open, and now alone, you can collect your mangled thoughts. Felix was seemingly keeping most of them at bay with his presence because, suddenly, the floodgates opened with him gone. But with your sleep-muddled brain, you didn’t want to think. You just wanted sleep. And Felix.

You wished he’d come back sooner.

While somewhere in the haze of your mind, you somehow found yourself nuzzled under your blankets. And what do you know? Felix shuffled back into your room. You felt at ease as you watched him enter. All you could do was stare after him as he walked to the other side of your bed and crawled underneath your covers with you.

He glanced over to check if you were awake. But you were already moving towards him. His eyes roam over your entire face as you slot yourself against the left side of his body. Tangling your legs with his, you slide your arm over his stomach and chest to pull him impossibly closer. He just watches you. A content sigh escapes your body, and your ear rests underneath his collarbone.

With your positioning, you fall asleep to Felix’s unnaturally fast heartbeat.

But not before you feel him wrap his arms around you and whisper good night.

____________________

And, unbeknownst to you, this is how you ended up in Felix’s arms again. Not that you minded.

Your positioning made it tricky for you to make any kind of movement without waking him up. His legs were slung over yours, trapping them against each other with no room to spare. Your head was tucked gently against his chest. But what threw you off the most wasn’t any of that.

It was the fact that your hands were intertwined.

The sensible part of your brain told you it wasn’t a big deal. But, oh, how you missed this feeling.

And when Felix gently squeezed your hand in his sleep, it set your heart ablaze. You couldn’t help but stare at your fingers and appreciate how Felix oozed warmth. It was like the time when you both fell asleep on your couch.

Except, this time, you weren’t afraid of Felix waking up.

You barely remembered the moments between finding Felix in the bathroom and getting home, but you could remember how you felt. You can feel the aftermath of your breakdown in his arms on your face, your puffy eyes that you can barely open, your sticky cheeks, and your tender nose.

It was scary for you to think about how this could affect your dynamic with him. You were on the brink of a storm earlier. It was uncomfortable at home back then, and you wanted to avoid that again if possible.

Your eyes closed once more as you just let your thoughts finally flow without bothering to stop them. It brought you short-lived peace, but you were okay with it.

Felix starts stirring underneath, and you tighten your grip on his hand. His tell-tale sigh announces to you that he has woken up. He runs a hand through his hair, moving some of his bangs away from his eyes. Underneath your body, you can feel his legs stretch out and hear him move his head.

Usually, this is when he gets out of bed. To be honest, you were dreading it. Just a few moments more is all you wanted.

But all that came was his left hand massaging its way into your scalp. Taken by surprise, you inhale sharply. His hand hesitates for a moment, and you take the opportunity to look up at him.

His face, puffy from sleep, looks down at you with fondness. His hand resumes its mission in your hair, and you allow your head to flop back against his collarbone.

“Good morning,” He croaks, voice coming out deeper than usual.

“Good morning,” You mumble back.

“How are you feeling?” He asks quietly, moving his hand to rest on your back. Your response was simply a groan, and your eyes shut once more.

“Yeah, understandable.” He laughs. “You had one hell of a night.”

Your eyes felt crusty after your extensive sobbing, and you were eager to shower and wash off any lingering physical feelings.

Despite your reluctance to get up, you urge yourself to do it anyways. Felix allows you to sit up, and he watches you.

“Today is Saturday, right?” You crane your neck to look back at him. He nods with a sleepy smile on his face.

Your feet felt like bricks as you dragged yourself to your closet to pick some clothes. Filing through the rows inside, you gather your things and close the door.

“Do you need any help?” Felix offers, now sitting up from his place on the bed.

“...With showering?” You glance down at your clothes.

“Oh… no. With other things today, I mean,” Felix scratches the back of his neck.

“No, I think I’m okay for now. Thank you, though,” You smile, making your way out of your room.

Times like these make you regret not splurging for a bathtub. All you yearned for right now was a warm bubble bath. Now, you had to settle for being on your feet a little longer.

You felt disoriented and spent; the adrenaline from last night zapped you of any energy today. Fortunately, as you stepped underneath the warm water, it restored a bit of it. The water snaked between your hair, and you let it slide down your back for a few minutes, relishing in the feeling.

Once you finish your shower, you wrap yourself in a new towel. The steam-filled bathroom hindered your ability to see yourself in the mirror, but it may be for the best. You were sure that you didn’t look all that well.

Quickly stepping into your change of clothes, you open the door to let the steam out since it impacted your breathing. Once the room is clear, you observe your tired reflection. Your eyes looked sunken and drained, the bags under your eyes more prominent. You felt about as great as you looked. You were all out of energy today to care about your appearance, so some concealer and mascara would do. It’s not like you planned on going out today, anyways.

Leaving the bathroom a fruity smell was wafting your way from the kitchen. You found Felix at the stove with a bowl of pancake batter in his hand. And on his left was a stack of the ones already done. Your heart felt warm.

“Is there a special occasion I forgot about? It’s not either of our birthdays?” You step up behind him, watching him add chocolate chips to the one in the pan. He smiled softly, and you watched his glasses, perched on his perfect nose, move up.

“No. I’m making these for you. Thought you’d like something sweet this morning,” Felix moves the pancake to the plate and prepares the pan again.

All you could do was thank him as you moved behind him and ruffled his hair. Reaching into your cupboard, you grabbed your favorite mug and started brewing your coffee.

“Did you sleep well?” He gently asks.

“I slept better with you there,” You admit.

“I’m glad. I was worried about you,” Felix says. You can tell his jaw is clenched even with his back turned to you.

“I know. I’m sorry,” You place your mug on the counter and sigh. Felix reacts in less than a second, turning around.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” His eyes widen as he looks at your face.

You look away from him upon feeling tears well up. He calls your name softly, turns off the stove, and walks towards you. Without letting you respond, his arms wrap around you tightly. He pushes your head into him as he holds you. He steps away from you and places his hands firmly on your shoulders.

“I know I said it last night, but I mean it. He’s a piece of sh*t. Please don’t be upset that things didn’t turn out well between you two.” The emotion in his voice made it so that the hands on your shoulders shook. “It pains me to see you like this.” He added quietly.

And just like that, a few stray tears fell down your cheeks.

“I’ll be okay, I promise.” You don’t have a chance to wipe them away before Felix is already doing it for you. “Some of the things he said just got to me, that’s all.”

“You don’t have to tell me what he said. I can only imagine how awful it was,” He removes his hands, returning to the mildly burnt pancakes.

You choose not to answer. Instead, you pour your coffee into your mug and stir in some sugar. Taking a sip, you decide it’s alright for now and walk over to your seat. Felix sets down your plate in front of you. He decorated it with a few berries and a knob of butter on top. A small “thanks” escapes your lips as you reach for the syrup.

“So, what’re our plans for the day?” Felix asks through a mouthful.

“Our?” You look up from your plate. He simply nods. Your shoulders slump.

“I don’t know. I’m not in the mood for anything in particular,” Came your response.

“Can I plan something then?” He asks, shoving a strawberry into his mouth. The question hangs in the air as you weigh your options. Deciding that doing something would be better than brooding, you agree.

“Okay. I’ll let you know in a bit what we’re going to do,” Felix wipes his mouth, and a smile forms on his lips.

The rest of the breakfast was relatively quiet. The clinking utensils took up most of the noise.

Returning to your room, you took a minute to look at the state it was in. It wasn’t a complete disaster, but clothes were thrown about carelessly. They were your other choices for last night’s party. Your feet felt like they weighed 30 pounds each as you moved to pick them up and put them away. Your hands ran along each seam carefully and folded along the lines. It brought you a sense of comfort to take care of your precious room.

The clothes were put away, shoes returned to the closet. Your bed was made, and you felt very content. It had been at most 3 hours since you last talked to Felix, and it was at that moment he decided to enter your room.

“I figured out what we can do tonight!” He bursts through your door, practically buzzing with excitement. “But it’s a surprise, so I can’t tell you.” He leans in the doorframe, grinning cheekily.

“Felix, I’m not really in the mood for a surprise right now,” You run a hand down your face as you cross your arms.

“Just trust me! I swear this is a good one. I can take care of everything. I just need a small thing from you,” He brings his hands together.

You pause, looking at him, waiting for him to continue.

“I just need you to be ready at 8,” He drops his hands and relaxes.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Dressed up?” Your eyebrows furrowed.

Felix shakes his head. “No, something comfortable. But, more dressed up than sweatpants.”

“So, casual?”

“Yes! Yeah, that,” He smiles bashfully.

“You could’ve just said,” You shrugged, uncrossing your arms and moving to sit on your bed.

“I.. forgot,” He replies carefully. “I promise you’ll like this.”

Your eyes meet his, and he’s pleading. He looks so excited. A spell might’ve been cast on you, but you wouldn’t have known—one look. One look and you were giving in immediately.

“Okay. I’ll be ready at 8,” A small smile crosses your face as Felix lights up at your words. He says nothing as he turns and rushes out of your room, remembering to shut your door.

You didn’t know what to expect, to be honest, as you stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror. For once, your brain was pretty silent. No racing thoughts about Seong-jin (or Felix, for that matter), and you felt at ease. Now that you think about it, everything was easier with Felix. Though apart, you felt a million racing thoughts. When you were actually with him, it was tranquil.

With that as your mindset, you started getting ready. It was rough to put together a casual outfit during Winter since too many layers made you feel dressed up no matter what. But you got the hang of it. And you were ready before 8.

“Lix, is there anything I can help you with?” Your hand knocked on his door softly.

“Just wait in your room for a sec!” He yelled back.

So you did just that.

And after about… 5 minutes, you heard Felix emerge from his room and rush towards your living area. Since he hadn’t said anything, you sat and waited more on your bed. Your phone buzzes in your hand:

Felix <3
I’m gonna run out to the car and bring it to the front of the apartment. Don’t come down until I say so :))

You shoot back a response and sigh. What could Felix possibly be doing?

An answer to your question was delivered approximately 10 minutes later when he quietly knocked on your door. It didn’t seem like he was coming in, so you walked over to him.

When you open the door, he’s standing with a flower in his hand; a pink rose. Your heart jolts but settles in the same second. He has the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen as he extends his arm.

“Felix..?” You start to question as you look down in awe.

“This isn’t the entire surprise, by the way.” He quickly interjects. “There’s more.”

A smile spreads across your features as you accept the rose, and he moves towards the front door. You pad softly behind him as he pivots into the kitchen, and he picks up a medium-sized bouquet. In it, you could tell there were yellow roses, snapdragons, pink roses, and a third flower you were unfamiliar with.

“Felix..,” It seemed that was the only word you could form.

“These reminded me of you.” He looks down at them fondly as he extends his hand out. “I thought this combination was beautiful.”

“You put this together for me?” You breathed out, grasping the stems.

“Well, I ordered these specific flowers together. I’m lucky they weren’t busy today,” Felix swiped a hand through his hair.

“I’m the one who’s lucky,” You quietly remarked as you inhaled the sweet scent wafting from the petals. You were unsure whether or not Felix had heard, but if he had, he was silent about it.

“I wanted to give this to you now in case you didn’t want to bring it with us,” He explained, spinning around to grab a vase that was previously hidden behind him. Your stomach churned as he gently placed it on the table. “I can help you set it up quickly if you’d like.”

Your head nods twice as his hands join yours to grab at the plastic. Fingers brush against each other, and you pretend not to notice. He makes quick work of getting the plastic off. Some petals detached, but you paid them no mind. You admired the bare bouquet as Felix filled the vase with water. No words needed to be exchanged.

Once he returned the vase to the center of the table, you carefully made sure each stem was placed within the water and no flower was crushing another.

“That should do it, don’t you think?” He admired the flowers with you for a moment longer.

“Mhm. Where are we going?” You turned to him. His eyes caught yours as realization kicked in, and he smiled shyly.

“You’ll see,” He reached out his hand to you. His fingertips were cold as they grazed your knuckles, but his palm provided you with warmth as you stepped out into the Winter atmosphere.

The walk to his car wasn’t long since he had parked in front of your apartment building. Felix opened the door for you before moving to the driver’s side. A quick sigh escaped his lips as he settled in and turned on the ignition.

“We won’t be driving for too long, by the way. You should put on some music for us,” He offered, checking his side mirror before pulling into the main road. And you did what he said, playing one of the playlists you had made together as he sped off down the streets.

As promised, you arrived at your supposed destination within 30 minutes of driving. The drive was something you didn’t know you needed. Felix talked to you occasionally, cracking jokes and singing along to whatever song played. It was a welcome change from the way you’ve been feeling.

Felix had taken you to a semi-secluded place. Thanks to the darkness, it obscured the area even more. You admit you were a bit skeptical as he put the car into park and looked over at you. But it quickly vanished as he smiled and got out. You twisted around in your seat to get a better view of him. He simply popped open the trunk, and you took that as your cue to get out.

“What’re you doing?” You questioned. Felix popped his head out from the side.

“Could you help me set this up?” That was all he said. Walking over to him, you solved the biggest mystery for the night.

He had put together a picnic for the two of you.

In his arms, he held a picnic blanket and a basket hanging from three fingers. From your position, you could see a few more things in the back, but you just took the blanket from him.

“Where should I set this up?” You asked. He paused for a minute, scanning the area.

“Over there. It seems more grassy,” Felix pointed with his chin to a spot a few feet away from his car. Your feet carry you over to it as you lay the blanket down, smoothing any wrinkles, and checking to make sure that all corners are flat. Satisfied with it, you turn to see Felix wobbling over with a few items. The basket from earlier was with him, along with two new bags filled with things.

You could hear a breathless laugh leave his body as his legs folded and he set down his array of things.

“The basket has food. This bag,” Felix held up a tote bag, “has utensils, plates, napkins, et cetera. And this bag has some extras,” He stands back up and moves back to the trunk. You wonder what “extras” could mean, but you didn’t have to deliberate for much longer since he had quickly returned.

“Originally, I was going to have someone help me set this up to surprise you with it all done, but I ran out of time. I hope you don’t mind,” Felix glances up at you.

“This is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. Of course, I don’t mind that it’s not… all setup. I’m excited that we get to do it together,” You nudge Felix with your shoulder. His eyes shine as he looks at you. The stars reflect in his irises in such a way that makes you… want to kiss him.

Immediately, you shake away the thought, breaking eye contact. You, instead, busy yourself with taking off your shoes. He seems attentive to you because of the speed at which he removes his. You were grateful for the buffer, though.

“How do you want me to set this up?” Your fingers brush the handle of the picnic basket.

“So, my idea was that you set up the food, and I will get everything else ready. Is that okay?” He checks, hands reaching into the bag with the “extras.”

“Yeah, of course.” You respond. “I’m okay with anything.”

“That’s good.” He chuckles softly. “Because I don’t really know how to set up the food.” You return his laugh, glancing over at him as he pulls some things out.

“I wish I could see better out here,” You comment, squinting to see what you are grabbing. And as if a god was listening to you, warm light bloomed from your left.

Felix was holding a string of fairy lights in one hand. In the other, two mason jars. “Help me put these together?” He smiles sweetly. Uncertain of what to do, you scooted closer to him. “Open the jar, and I’ll put the lights inside,” He instructed.

Ah, now you understand.

The jar was held carefully between your hands as he slipped inside and coiled the lights gently. They’re controlled through a remote that Felix turned on once you screwed the lid shut. Fairy lights aren’t the most useful, but these were perfect. Felix pulled out two more jars from the bag and a few more strings of lights. Another wave of silence passed over the both of you, but it was comfortable. The winter wind wasn’t biting, though it was a bit chilly.

Propping the jars on all four corners of the picnic blanket, Felix leans back on his palms to admire the spread. “What do you think?” He looks at you for approval.

“It’s gorgeous, Felix,” You smile. He doesn’t respond, choosing to busy himself with other items in the bag instead. You follow his lead, looking into the bag that contains food and things to put the food on.

Some time passes, and you manage to get everything ready. Felix didn’t pack anything too crazy; some pastries, sweets, fruits, and other things he thought you’d enjoy. He hit the nail on the head. The amount of dopamine that floods your brain as you look at the spread is comparable to getting high. He knows you like the back of his hand. It’s almost scary to think about how close you and Felix are... How it hasn’t even been a year since you both met.

Felix had been setting up a few blankets on your left, and you noticed he pulled out two stuffed animals. He seems to keep himself busy with something else in the bag, so you take the opportunity to sit back for a minute. Warm light once again fills your vision as you see him setting up fake candles, some small and some large. His eyes sparkle beneath their light. Felix scatters them around the blanket to provide illumination.

“That should do it. What do you think?” He looks at you for approval.

“I think that this must’ve not been something planned spontaneously,” You eye him with a grin dancing on the corners of your lips. A smirk threatens to appear on Felix’s face.

“I may or may not have been buying things here and there for this,” He waves a hand around as if this was nothing.

“You should’ve told me. I would’ve loved to help,” You sigh.

“Mhm, that’s exactly why I didn’t mention it. I wanted to do something special for you,” In his voice, you can hear that Felix has more to say. So, you stay quiet to let him continue. He doesn’t. He just looks at you, sitting back and putting his weight on his palms.

Your breath catches in your throat.

“Oh,” You say.

“I just thought that now was a good time for this. You needed a pick-me-up,” Felix finally snaps out of it, clearing his throat. You chuckle.

“I did.”

“So, then, is it working?”

“Very well, I’d say.” You turn to look at the food you set up. “Are we going to eat?”

“After you,” He gestures to the bowl of chocolate-covered strawberries you were eyeing. And you don’t need to be told twice.

Time seems to not exist while you’re with Felix. You feel your worries ease away as laughter echoes in the night sky. Felix was telling you about his childhood in Australia.

“Yeah. After that wipeout, my mum banned me from surfing indefinitely,” He exhaled with a giggle.

“I don’t blame her. You almost died! But I’m sure getting CPR from the lifeguard was punishment enough,” You stuffed a cookie in your mouth to muffle your remaining laughter.

“Oh, god, it was. My schoolmates never let me live it down. I am grateful for him, though. He did save my life at the end of the day,” His laughter died down, and his eyes had a fond look in them. A grin finds its way back to your lips as you gaze at him. He must feel you staring because he looks your way and breaks out into his smile.

“Changing the topic,” He exhales roughly as he shifts around on the blanket. “I brought you out here for another reason, too.”

“What’s up?” You put down the now empty bottle of water you had been drinking.

“Turn off these candles first,” He dodges the question. You co*ck an eyebrow at him but follow his instructions nonetheless. He quietly picks up a candle and, one by one turns them off. Slowly, the two of you are engulfed by darkness again. The only things that kept it at bay were the mason jars, but they didn’t do much.

“Take this,” He offers you one of the pillows he had with him. “And lay back.”

And that’s when you saw what he wanted you to see. Felix had obviously done his research; the lack of light pollution in this particular area made it so you could see thousands upon thousands of stars. You don’t know how you didn’t see them when you arrived. Then again, most of your attention was on the boy beside you.

Even now, entranced by the bright stars, you wanted his approval. You wanted to know what he thought. Did he find them as pretty as you did? Is he enjoying this as much as you are? So, you turn your head to face him.

Only to find him staring back at you with the same admiration you had while looking at the sky.

It caught you off guard, of course. Your eyes widened, both to get accustomed to the darkness and in surprise. He wasn’t as jarred. It looked like he expected you to look over at him.

“They’re gorgeous, Felix,” You quietly reveal.

“I know.”

You swallow quietly.

“But you’re not looking at them.”

“..I know.”

“Do you?”

He nods. “Your reaction tells me they are. I don’t need to see them to know they’re pretty.”

You turn your head back up to the sky, unsure what to say. But you feel your cheeks heat, that familiar feeling creeping back into your stomach.

“It’s funny,” he continues quietly. “You remind me of the stars.” Your heart leaps in your chest. Again, you wait for him to continue.

And again, he doesn’t.

Instead, you feel his hand brush yours. A quiet gasp passes through your lips. You’re unsure if he heard it. By the way he pauses, you can guess that he did. Silencing the thoughts in your head, you move your hand over his. Felix turns his over, and the warmth of his palm spills into yours. His thumb caresses your index finger.

“Thank you,” You croaked softly, voice thick with emotion.

“For what?” His head turns.

“For today. For everything,” Was your response.

“Of course. You deserve it,” Felix hums softly.

Your head moves to look at him, too. His brown eyes are beautiful even in limited light. Maybe too beautiful. You know you’re in dangerous territory - you can’t find it in you to care.

You don’t even know how to respond. You think that if you try saying anything, you’ll just blurt out something you have not properly thought about yet. So you settle for the next best thing. Your hand releases his, but you move his arm up. Felix doesn’t question it; he just observes.

Feeling his body against yours again was borderline magical. As soon as your head reached the junction between his shoulder and collarbone, he wrapped the arm you had moved earlier around your shoulders. Both of you breathed out. He seemed tense under your touch for the first time. You chalked it up to the cold temperature and brushed it off.

Your hand finds purchase on his chest as usual and stays like that for a few moments. Not long after, his left hand places itself on top of it. He squeezes your hand gently, and you just snuggle closer into him.

“I’ve missed this,” You admit into his chest. Even through the many layers of clothing, you can hear his mellow heartbeat.

“Me too,” He replies after a few beats.

Silence falls over the two of you as you shift your head to look up again. You do so at the perfect time - a shooting star passes overhead.

“Did you see that?” You push yourself up with a gasp, jaw dropping. Felix huffs under you as you press him down to the floor.

“Yeah. It was a shooting star, right?” He grunts softly, wrapping his fingers around your wrist. Your head jerks down to look at him again, removing your hand with a quick “sorry.”

“Make a wish,” You whisper, looking back up into the sky. Your eyes close as you think about your wish. Once you’ve got it, you breathe out a deep sigh. Your eyes open to see Felix laying back down. His outstretched arm says a million words at once. A smile is how you reply. And you lay back down on him in your previous position.

“Did you make a wish?” You ask, craning your head. He nods.

“Don’t tell me until it comes true. That’s how this works,” You pat his chest softly.

“That’s how this works?” He repeats cheekily.

“Yeah. Haven’t you ever wished on a shooting star?”

“This is my first time seeing one.”

You pause for a second.

“I hope it was enjoyable,” You say. His arm drifts from your shoulder to your waist.

“Everything is enjoyable if I’m with you,” His fingers flex against you, so quickly you almost didn’t catch it.

And that was all he offered.

It was all you needed.

What happened with Seongjin didn’t seem important anymore. What the other guys in your classes thought about you didn’t matter. You hoped that one day you could give Felix all the appreciation he gave you.

And you hope that someday you’ll be able to tell him your wish aloud.

Chapter 13: Good News! (not a chapter but an update)

Chapter Text

Hi!! i figured that I should update you all since it's been a good 7 months since I've updated this story LOL.... Sorry about that </3 I'll give yall a TL;DR: I was hit with the fanfic author curse and way too many things happened between now and August that I can't even keep track of half. The biggest one was a death in my close circle of friends which happened in November and put everything in my life to a halt. Ever since then, it's been a long, long road to "recovery." I'm finally in a pretty comfortable place; comfortable enough to return to a lot of my hobbies and previous projects, this story being one of them! I'd like to thank you all for your continuous patience and support! I always read any comments left on this work and to be honest, they're pretty much the only reason I found the motivation to come back and continue writing. Writing, to me, is such a monumental outlet of creativity and emotion and journaling has been my best friend ever since things have gone to sh*t, so to speak. Coming back to this story is something that I've been wanting to do for a while, but there were a lot of things holding me back. I wanted to present you all with a great chapter, one that's well thought out, carefully planned, and edited. I didn't want to just half-ass this to keep you guys "fed." I hope that you understand why this has been taking a long time.

So, as of now, there is a new chapter currently in the works! I have a lot that I still prioritize over this story, including school and family things, so it might not be out any time soon. But, I will dedicate as much time and care to this as possible. I hope that this update could give you some peace of mind because I really didn't want to abandon this work. I know how it feels to read an incredible fanfic and then the author just kinda goes poof! I'm not sure if anyone feels that way about this work of mine, but still, leaving something unfinished is not something I will ever enjoy. I will always, always try to finish what I start if it's possible.

That was basically all of the super important stuff I wanted to address first and foremost. I also would like to share that I'm kind of a novice writer. I still have a very long way to go as far as story-telling, but I find that this story has been a huge help to me in terms of story continuity and how to connect it well. There are a few bumps and some things that, to me, feel kinda just thrown in there, but honestly it's progress! 75k words is not little and it's the biggest writing project I've ever invested in. I feel so, so proud of myself! Having said all this, if you have any comments orconstructive criticism, I would greatly appreciate them! I always love hearing input from fellow writers, and often use it as a source of inspiration for the story itself. I take a lot of my inspiration from music I listen to as well, so tbh, drop any "romance" song recs in the comments if you ever want to! I personally listen to a lot of Taylor Swift (might be a bit controversial) because she writes so many romance songs! All of them are like their own little story lol. So, if a song you like has lyrics or any sort of romantic vibe, feel free to recommend them and I will absolutely listen! I also love engaging with readers! Comments are so, so appreciated I can't even begin to explain them.

Anyways, thank you all so much again for your patience, words of kindness, support, and ideas! This story wouldn't have been possible without all of you :) And! Please look forward to the upcoming chapter! I will delete this update (probably) when it comes out so don't be alarmed if it still says 13 chapters. Just be sure to check the publishing date.

This is a bit late but Happy New Year to you all! I hope 2024 brings prosperity, good health, and happiness to you and your family/loved ones <33

Chapter 14: Winter Falls

Chapter Text

Snowflakes gathered on your windowsill, dancing across the skies and fluttering about the crisp Winter air. The snow wasn’t thick by any means, but snowfall, to you, was magical. No matter how often you see it or how much it snows in the winter. It invoked such a feeling deep inside that you couldn’t explain it.

Despite the biting cold outside, inside, your shared apartment was filled with little knick-knacks that you and Felix bought together. They filled the apartment with enough warmth to withstand the harsh weather. You had always preferred a red, green, and gold Christmas, and you were delighted when Felix did as well. There was a little Christmas tree you both decorated, a hardened gingerbread house from about a week ago, a few little elves here and there, a potted poinsettia, and some other scattered decorations.

In Seoul, you were just days away from Christmas. Two, to be exact. You and Felix had both been carefully planning out your holidays together. Things have been fine since the picnic. Nothing notable occurred after, and you must admit you felt antsy about it. It wasn’t uncommon for Felix to be sappy with you, but you could feel that there was something different this time. He never acknowledged the way you two spoke while looking at the stars, and you never asked him about it.

So, that’s where you are now; both of you are comfortable with each other. You were planning the dish you would bring to Chris’s Christmas Eve party tomorrow afternoon. Felix wanted to bring dessert, but you wanted to bring an appetizer. The compromise was that you bring both.

“Felix, I bought you the cocoa powder you were missing,” You say as you set down two grocery bags on the table. He turns around from chopping spinach with a grin.

“Did you remember the candy canes as well? They’re crucial to the recipe,” He peers into one of the bags.

“Of course. I almost left without it.” You dig around for the plastic pouch containing said candy. “Luckily, the cashier had some at their station.”

“You’re a God send, thank you,” He continues smiling at you, removing his desired ingredients from the bags. You smile sheepishly.

“Have you chopped the vegetables I need for my artichoke dip?” You shrug off your winter coat as you ask.

“All except the garlic. I didn’t want the smell to affect my cookies,” Felix rinsed his hands quickly in the sink.

“No worries. You’ve helped plenty. Do you need any help with them?” You ask, rolling up your sleeves.

“They’re relatively simple. Easy prep, easy decorating. The only hard part is cleaning up afterward,” Felix eyes the already-growing pile of dishes in the sink.

“I don’t even want to think about that right now,” You sigh, taking your position at the chopping board.

“C’mon, we can tackle it together!” Felix walks over to you and nudges you with his elbow. You roll your eyes playfully.

“We’ll do most of it tonight. We’re both just prepping our ingredients, right?” You peel back the garlic, glancing at him.

“I was thinking about baking mine tonight. So, we’d save time tomorrow. And, we could taste test the cookies, too,” Felix adds, pointedly looking at you. You eye him back, a smirk threatening to appear at the corners of your lips.

“We wouldn’t want them to be too sweet,” You fix him with an innocent look as you grab a knife. He chuckles as he returns to measuring out his ingredients.

“Exactly.”

You turn back to the garlic in your hands, taking a moment to appreciate the domestic ambiance that settles over your heads. The smell of garlic and spinach penetrating your nostrils clashes with peppermint and bittersweet chocolate, but you can’t find it in you to care.

Both you and Felix continue to work wordlessly in the kitchen for the better half of an hour. You grated cheese while Felix busied himself with making peppermint bark.

“I’m just about done here, Lix. Are you sure you don’t need any help?” You close the fridge after putting away your ingredients.

Felix stands at the stove with a pot at low heat as he melts his chocolates. He spares you a glance as he stirs. “Actually, if you could get started on the dough, you’d be a life-saver.”

“Of course. Where’s the recipe?”

He pauses to think for a moment.

“It’s on my phone. You can grab it - it’s in my back pocket.” He gestures with his chin over his shoulder, and your eyes wander down his backside. You reach out to grab it with hesitation.

“Password?”

“Your birthday.”

“My birthday?” Your fingers pause over his screen.

“Mhm,” He hums.

Why would my birthday be your password? The question almost slips past your lips.

As promised, you punch in your birthdate, and the screen morphs into a search engine with the recipe displayed. You busy yourself with looking over the pre-measured ingredients Felix laid out.

“That smells amazing,” He comments, peering over your shoulder. He had wrapped up the peppermint bark and was checking on your progress.

“It’s coming together,” You reply, adding in the last fourth of the flour mixture. Felix rests his chin on your shoulder, and you can feel the bowl begin to slip from your fingers. Thankfully, you quickly moved to return it to its position on the table, avoiding an accident.

“It looks great to me,” His eyes sweep over how your arm diligently folds over the dough.

“Do you want to add in the chocolate chips?” You begin to look at him but pause when you remember how close he is to you.

“If your arm wants a break,” He withdraws from you and reaches for the bowl of chocolate.

“I don’t mind,” Your voice came out a bit more breathy than you would’ve liked it to as he grazed his fingers over yours to take the spatula. You sheepishly stepped aside to watch him fold the dough over the chocolate. Felix could’ve told you he was a professional baker, and you would’ve believed him without question.

“After this, we need to let the dough chill for about four hours, okay?” He looks up at you, his bright eyes searching yours. His eyes felt invasive as you looked into them. Would they be able to pick apart how you were feeling? You were unsure.

“Yeah. We should clean up in the meantime,” You broke eye contact first, shuffling over to the sink. His eyes just followed.

The frigid water tingles your skin as you pour your concentration into scrubbing out the smell of garlic from it. You can hear Felix put away the dough to chill behind you. He approaches the sink as you move to dry your hands.

“Have you finished your Christmas shopping?” He says.

“Yeah, just about,” You look away from him. You have not finished buying the things needed for his gift. He doesn’t need to know that.

“What’re you missing? Maybe we could go shopping later,” He offers.

“Oh. I just wanted to look for some things for Changbin and Seungmin. I’m not really sure what they’d like,” It wasn’t a complete lie. You had no idea what to get Changbin. You had already completed your gift for Seungmin. And Felix was unaware that there was still something you were searching for.

“Oh, perfect! I can help you. I already have their gifts,” He smiles.

“Of course you do,” You can’t help but smile fondly at him. He smiles wider.

“Should we leave in a few?” He glances at his phone for the time.

“Sure, I just need to brush my hair, and then we can go.”

“Okay. I’ll get my shoes on.”

At the shopping center, you just have to figure out how to buy Felix’s gift without him knowing. Felix had led you into a few stores looking for something for Changbin. He pointed out a couple of plushies, headphones, gym essentials, and other miscellaneous things.

“You said his headphones broke?” You said, picking up a box of sleek-looking headphones.

“Yeah. Changbin told me he dropped some weights on them in between sets. That’s something that would only happen to him,” Felix snorts.

“Do you think he’d like these?” You turn the box towards him. Felix examines it closely before smiling and nodding.

“Thank God. I was running out of options for him. Who knew shopping for Changbin would be the hardest,” You breathe a sigh of relief.

“Don’t you still have to find something for Seungmin?” Felix points out.

“Oh. Right. Thanks for the reminder,” You turn away from Felix as you take a deep breath. “I’m gonna go check out. Meet me outside?”

“Yeah. Take your time,” Felix wanders away, waving goodbye.

You take this opportunity to dart around the aisles of the small store. You just needed one final thing for Felix. You’re out of time. Scanning the shelves, you feel defeated. Nothing here was catching your eye. Nothing was good enough.

And then, you spotted it. Your heart soared as you picked it up. Of course! It was the final thing you needed. And now, everything has come together. You walked out of the store beaming.

“Good to go?” Felix looks up from his phone. He was leaning against the side of the store. Something about him today made you feel warm inside.

“Yeah, sorry. I had to buy something else. I lost my earbuds,” You lie through your teeth. Felix pockets his phone and walks closer to you.

“No worries.” He offers you his arm. “Do you want to grab some boba before we leave?” You stare at his arm for a moment before smiling softly.

“I’d like that.”

~~~

“I don’t know how you like that combination. It sounds like way too many flavors in one thing,” Felix’s nose crinkles as he watches you sip your drink. You had both arrived back at your apartment complex and were slowly walking towards the elevator.

“How ‘bout you try it before complaining?” You shove the straw into his face. His face contorts as he pushes it away. “Hey, careful! If you drop it, you’ll have to pay me back for it,” Your hand retracts quickly, out of reach from his.

“As if! I paid for these,” He sticks his tongue out. You both stop in front of the elevator doors.

“Well, you’d still owe me,” You huff.

“If anything, I’d be doing you a service. I’m sorry you enjoy drinking that,” Felix brings his straw to his lips before taking a long, drawn-out sip.

“And I’m sorry you don’t like trying new things.” You shrug. “Guess we’re both feeling apologetic- Hey!”

Your drink is whisked out of your hands and replaced with his. Before you can utter another word, he takes a long sip of your drink while his eyes burn into yours. He swallows and thinks for a minute.

“Yeah, no, I’m correct. I’m sorry you like stuff like this.” He cringes at the flavor. “But, now you can’t say I don’t try new things!” The elevator doors open, and he ushers you inside.

“Felix..,” Your mouth hangs open in disbelief.

“Try mine now, at least.”

You continue to stare, lost for words.

“Go on,” He crosses his arms stubbornly. You repeat his previous actions. Except your face brightens up immediately.

“Felix,” Your eyes all but bulge out of your head. “Where has this been all my life?” You move the cup away from your mouth to stare at it. The doors open as you arrive on your floor, and you walk ahead of him.

“I told you so,” He closes his eyes and nods. You hurriedly take a couple more gulps before Felix snatches his cup back.

“Get your own!” He scoffs. You just pout at him as you take back your drink.

“For the record, I still love my drink. Even if yours is a little bit better, mine is still fantastic,” You turn with your nose in the air.

“I don’t think ‘lavender earl grey milk tea’ trumps brown sugar. But, to each their own,” He strolls away towards your door.

“It’s less sweet than yours.”

“I’d hope so. Mine literally says ‘sugar’ in its name.”

“Right! I like tea-based drinks.”

“Right, and I don’t.”

“Why are we arguing about this?”

“I don’t know, you brought it up.” Felix fixes you with an amused smile as he unlocks the front door. You watch him enter the apartment, thinking of your response.

“Actually, it was you.” You trail after him, slipping your shoes off. “Something about how you thought there were too many flavors in it.”

He pauses. He turns around and co*cks his hips to the side. “Um, actually,” he starts in a mocking tone, “you started it by ordering that drink.” He crosses his arms.

You blink at him. “At least put on your glasses when you say that. You look like the nerd emoji.”

“At least I don’t sound like it,” He sticks his tongue out.

“Bitch,” You scoff, a smirk appearing on your face. His body relaxes as a smile crosses his.

“C’mon, let’s go bake some cookies,” He strolls into the kitchen with you on his heels.

Something about watching Felix concentrate so strongly on his baking makes you feel awkward. It’s invasive, in a way. It’s hypnotizing the way he moves when he’s baking or cooking. His moves are perfectly articulate, coming from years of practice. He never seems frustrated with his work; it always seems to go perfectly, even if he’s attempting a new recipe. You stand off to the side as he finishes sliding the tray of cookies into the oven.

“Can you set a timer for 13 minutes?” He looks at you. A momentary freeze passes over you as you make eye contact before you reach for your phone.

“I think I’m gonna go shower to wait out the cookies,” Felix rolls down his sleeves, a sight you are sad to see.

“Sure. I’m just going to be in the living room. I’ll watch them for you.”

“Thanks. You’re a gem,” He says as he hurries off. You stand still in the kitchen for a minute, processing.

Oh, brother.

God, you feel like you’re acting crazy. A distraction might do you good. Your eye catches on the bag of gifts you bought earlier, and you move towards it.

After grabbing some wrapping paper, you settle down in the living room while you call Delaney. As they answered, You measured the amount needed for Changbin’s gift.

“Hey, love. What’s up?” They say, smiling into their phone camera.

“Wrapping some last-minute gifts, how about you?” You hold up the wrapping paper to your phone.

“Getting ready for a Christmas-themed date!” They exclaim, holding up their fresh manicure to you.

“Oh my god? When were you going to tell me?” Your jaw drops with a smile.

“Soon. I know you’ve been busy over break,” Delaney gives you a knowing glance. You turn away, busying yourself with the wrapping.

“Right, yeah.”

“I didn’t mean that in a bad way,” They sheepishly smile.

“No, I know. How’re things going with you and your man?” You cheer up, taping up the edges of the gift.

“Pretty good. He’s great. I was a little concerned at first because, well, I think it’s obvious,” Delaney gestures to themself, and you share a mutual look. Their look was unconventional for Korea; they didn’t exactly adhere to gender roles. You were happy things were going great between them and their mystery man.

“He’s been treating you good?” Your eyebrow arches.

“One hundred percent.” They affirm. “He tells me that he likes me for me, not what I look like on the outside.”

“I just hope he knows that how you present on the outside is who you are on the inside,” You comment.

“I think he knows.” Delaney shuts their eyeshadow pallet. “You just need to see the way he looks at me. It’s to die for.”

Delaney sounds smitten. Your heart warms for them.

“I’m glad. College dating is... Yeesh,” You shake your head, hissing out in disdain. Delaney scoffs on the other side.

“Don’t even get me started on that. But you’re having worse luck than me. That’s unexpected,” Delaney points to you with their brush.

“I don’t think so,” you sigh, “it’s just happening that way. I got unlucky with those three guys.”

“Fourth time’s the charm?”

“Who knows?” You finish taping up Felix’s gift as you breathe out a laugh. Delaney gives you a glance that you miss.

“What’re you doing for the rest of the week?” Delaney’s voice comes out slightly strained as they angle their face to apply highlight to their cheekbones.

“Well, today Felix and I are taste-testing some dishes. And, tomorrow Felix and I have Chris’s Christmas Eve party. After that, I don’t have any plans,” You start on Changbin’s gift. Delaney hums.

“Maybe I can steal you away one of those days. I’ll tell you all about my date and my boy,” They grin.

“I’d like that. I miss you,” You softly admit. Delaney pauses their makeup to look at you.

“I miss you too, babe.” They reply. “Where’s Felix?”

You flinch.

“He’s showering. He wanted to clean up after he finished his cookies.”

“He’s making cookies?”

“Mhm, for tomorrow.”

“Save me some?” Delaney’s face contorts into a pout.

“I’ll try,” You laugh. “The cookies might harden until then, though.”

“Hm, true. We’ll figure something out. I can’t miss out on Felix’s sweets.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him that. He’d be flattered.”

“Lord knows that guy doesn’t need any more flattering. He’s a gift from God himself,” Delaney mutters. “You’re so put together, I don’t know how you do it.”

“Yes, yes, I know. If you were me, you’d have jumped on Felix by now,” You nod, reciting the words on Delaney’s tongue.

“Exactly! Have you seen him? He looks like he was sculpted by hand. His eyes are heavenly, his nose is adorable, and his lips… don’t get me started on his cupid’s bow, dude, I’d kill to have defined lips like his. And that’s just his face!” Delaney exclaims. You’re well-versed in how your friend feels about Felix. They practically worship the ground he steps on.

“Yeah, sometimes I don’t know how he handles being out in public. I’ve seen the attention he gets when I’m not around him. At least two girls ask him for his number,” You add.

“What about when you’re with him?”

“They don’t talk to him. But, I feel watched from afar. They probably think I’m his girlfriend or something,” You tape up the last of Changbin’s gift and crumple up the plastic bag.

“Jealousy isn’t a good look for anyone,” Delaney hums.

“They don’t know any better,” You sit back on your palms.

“But, it doesn’t help that he’s touchy with you,” They point out. Your eyes move back to your phone. You shrug.

“It’s just Felix.”

“..Right.”

“What about me?” Felix rounds the corner with damp hair and a towel over his head. Speak of the devil. Your eyes snap to him as he appears.

“Nothing. Just commenting on the amount of female attention you get,” You fold your hands in your lap as you lean back against the foot of the couch.

“Oh,” His face falters for a second. The look of it is indecipherable.

“Delaney brought it up,” You point to the phone with your chin, and the look on his face is wiped off.

“Hi, Felix!” Delaney exclaims. Felix waddles over to sit beside you on the ground. His head pops into the frame as he shoves it in front of yours.

“Hi, Delaney! How’ve you been?” He smiles. You can smell the floral hints of his shampoo. It makes your skin tingle.

“Good! I’m getting ready for a date right now, so I’m actually doing great,” They pick up their phone to walk back into what you assume is their room.

“Aw, what? That’s awesome! I hope it goes well!” He waves as he retreats to your side. “I’m gonna go check on the cookies.” He quietly adds to you. You nod, smiling as you watch him walk off.

When you return your gaze to your phone, Delaney looks at you with a smirk. You furrow your eyebrows.

“What?” You contest.

“Nothing. Just jealous I don’t get to try any of those cookies,” Delaney’s voice goes high-pitched when they lie. Your eyes narrow.

“I told you, Felix could just make some more later,” You tread lightly.

“I’ll look forward to that.” Their voice returned to their normal octave. “‘Til then, I think I have to go because Thiago is picking me up in,” they pause to check their clock, “about 5 minutes. I’ve gotta run.”

“Okay. Enjoy your night, Delaney. You deserve it!” You pick up your phone, smiling brightly at them.

“Thanks, love. Tell Felix I love him and wish him a Merry Christmas. And don’t forget that I love you. I hope you have a good Christmas,” Delaney grins warmly.

“Thank you. Take care. Call me if you need anything! And, remember, I have your location!” You remind them.

“What would I do without you,” They sigh happily.

“Get kidnapped, probably,” You sigh back. Delaney laughs heartily.

“I’ll make sure not to. Have a good night, you two!” And with that, Delaney hangs up. You turn off your phone before turning your head to see Felix place the cookies on a cooling rack.

“Delaney said they love you and wished you a Merry Christmas,” You reiterate. He looks up at you with shining eyes.

“I hope they also have a Merry Christmas,” He beams. God, Delaney was totally right; he was sculpted by the gods.

“Sooo, cookies?” You sat back on your palms again. Felix looks down at them.

“They’re cooling, but you could come and take a bite if you’d like,” He removes the heat-resistant gloves. You stand up with zero hesitation. The cookies fill the apartment with a mouth-watering fragrance. It was minty with a bit of chocolatey sweetness. It was as if the spirit of Christmas entered your body through your nose.

“These smell amazing, Felix,” The compliment slips out naturally. He smiles bashfully. “Don’t you want to try it first?”

“No, I’d rather you do it,” He shakes his head and picks up one of the warm cookies. You take it from his hands and feel it practically melt. It does melt once it’s on your tongue, the sugar dissolving in the most delightful way as you taste the bittersweet and candy cane flavors.

“I think,” a thoughtful look crosses your face, “I need to eat one more to give a good review.”

“You’re killing me here,” He rolls his eyes with a smile and leans back against the counter.

“I just have to be sure,” You say. You gulp down the rest of the cookie in your hand and reach for another. You all but moan with delight as you look at Felix.

He’s gazing at you with the most expectant eyes. They’re gleaming in the dim lights of the kitchen. His brown eyes look like they hold the universe and its stars in them. They’re... beautiful. You almost stop chewing as you look at him. He’s looking at you the way you look at Delaney when they present you with a new piece of clothing they designed. His eyes are so full of admiration you almost choke.

“I… I think they’re good. Yeah, you did good,” Your hand wipes the corner of your mouth as you look back down at the cooling rack.

“That’s not promising,” He skeptically takes a cookie in his hand. He holds your gaze as he takes a bite. Your body is just frozen.

“Okay, no, wait.” His face flashes about a dozen emotions at once. “These are f*cking awesome! I can’t believe I made these!”

“Did you expect anything less?” A smile shines on your face.

“I had some doubts; I don’t like mixing chocolate with mint,” He reveals.

“I would’ve never guessed. You’re eating that sh*t up,” You comment as Felix shoves the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

“Like you didn’t do the same,” He scoffs, mirroring your earlier moves.

“So they’re good for tomorrow then?” You gesture to them with your chin.

“Absolutely. I just need to bake some more now,” Feix looks down at the dozen he pulled out of the oven. Well, more like half a dozen now.

“I’ll help you out,” You roll up your sleeves and move to wash your hands.

After about 2 hours of prepping and baking, you end the night with about 60 cookies. Not counting the dozen Felix previously made - those were all eaten.

“I’m amazed we had enough ingredients for all of these cookies,” Felix comments as you both lay on the couch. You’ve decided that mixing, folding, and stirring would be your arm workout for the week.

“I’m not excited about the grocery bill next week, thought,” You groan. Unfortunately, you had used up all of the butter, sugar, and flour. Those weren’t things you commonly bought.

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that too,” Felix winces.

“Oh well. It’s a special occasion,” You murmur. He looks over at you briefly.

“Speaking of, what’re you wearing tomorrow to the party?” He puts down his phone on his lap.

“Something with red.” You pause, tapping around on your phone to open Pinterest. “I haven’t given it much thought.”

“I was thinking stylish? I’m feeling a vintage sorta vibe,” Felix stretches his legs out in front of him.

“Honestly, same. I think Christmas brings that out,” You smile at him as you search around your boards.

“Oh, definitely. It’s so nostalgic.” He agrees. “I’m glad I get to spend it with you.”

His words pull you away from your phone, and you look at him. Only to find him already looking at you. He blinks slowly, and you feel your cheeks heat up.

“Me too.” You breathe. “Don’t forget about our friends we’re seeing tomorrow as well,” You continue.

“Of course. But, I’m mainly excited about spending it with you,” Felix traces the patterns on one of the couch pillows, avoiding your gaze.

“Aw, Felix. No need to get all sappy on me now,” You’re quick to tease, ignoring the heat rising on the back of your neck.

“Sorry. Christmas is just special to me.” He looks at the TV and observes the knick-knacks you placed near it. “It’s even more special that I get to spend it with you. You mean a lot to me.”

Your heart jolts in your chest. It beats a little faster as you look at the side of Felix’s face. You gulp.

“Spending the holidays away from my family is difficult every year. But, this year it’s not so bad. Not if you’re with me,” His face suddenly turns to face you, and he suddenly seems too far away. You want him closer. You want to hold him, to be held by him, everything. These feelings feel like they’re going to burst at any moment. It takes the will of God for you not to throw yourself on him. You can’t breathe.

“Felix..,” Is all you manage to say. You know your eyes are tearing up. And, you know Felix can see it.

“Oh,” He snaps out of it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“No, it’s the opposite,” You blink away tears with a small smile. “I wasn’t expecting you to say that.”

“It just came out, I dunno,” He glanced away, shifting in his seat.

“I’m glad I get to spend it with you as well, Felix,” You quietly say. “Christmas makes me… sad sometimes,” You reveal.

“Sad?”

“Yeah, y’know. I’m also missing my family and reminiscing on the Christmases spent with them. I get it. Which is why I’m grateful we’re together. You gave me back that feeling of the holiday. Christmas feels like Christmas again because of you,” You confess. Felix’s mouth parts a little. You watch him swallow once. Twice. His eyes search your face. All you could do was stare at him, unmoving. Fearing that movement would shatter the moment, your heart pounds in your chest. You can only assume his is well. How could you be the only one feeling this? It’s not possible.

“You have this uncanny ability to tell me exactly what I want to hear,” He chuckles, breaking the veil of stillness. You co*ck your head to the side. He stands up from the couch and moves closer to you. He sits back down beside you, his thigh brushing yours. You’re still frozen in your seat. “You’re so special to me. I want you to know that.” He takes your hand in his. His is warm, and stark in contrast to your freezing fingertips.

“You’re special to me, too,” You whisper. Felix blushes.

“I’m glad we feel the same.”

Your heart leaps into your throat. You can feel your airway tighten as you stare at him. Felix opens his mouth to say something but breaks eye contact and shuts it. He squeezes your hand and leans in quickly to kiss you on the cheek. The warmth in your palm is ripped away as he rushes to his room.

Your eyes blink as you adjust to your solitude. It wasn’t a dream, was it? Well, your thundering heartbeat should tell you enough. A hand over your heart reaffirms it all.

Hours later, you’re in your room, journaling. It’s been a while since you last delved into your journal. But, with all that’s happened, you’ve decided it would be best to start it up again. Music plays quietly from your phone. Felix’s footsteps come from beyond your door. A hesitant knock sounds from it.

“Come in,” You clear your throat, shutting your journal. Felix appears in your field of vision. He looked small, in a sense.

“What’re you up to?” His voice is meek as he walks in.

“Just journaling. It’s been pretty hectic lately. It’s helping me relax,” Your fingers brush over your multi-colored pens. Felix simply nods. “What have you been up to?”

“I’m trying to figure out my outfit for tomorrow. I thought I knew what I wanted, but now I’m not sure,” Felix scratches the back of his neck as he sits on the corner of your bed.

“Need some help?” You offer, spinning in your chair to face him.

“Please,” His eyes are pleading. You nod and stand.

Entering his room, you scan his bed. It’s littered with multiple pairs of pants, shirts, and sweaters. His shoes are strewn about the room, some flipped over, some with mismatched pairs, some missing a pair.

“You told me earlier that you were feeling vintage? Or something like that?” You confirm.

“Yeah, just like old school? And warm tones,” He crosses his arms.

“Oh! I have an idea!” You turn to him excitedly. “What if you go with a green pallet and I go with red?” Your eyes shine as you bounce on the balls of your feet.

“I think that could work,” There’s an equal amount of excitement on his face.

“Remember that green blazer you bought a few months ago?” A lightbulb goes off in your head. He nods with a smile.

“What about that with your black turtleneck?” You point to a black mass on his bed.

“You’re a genius,” He breathes out as he hastily picks up the black turtleneck and hunts down the green blazer.

“Wear them with a dark pair of pants, and I think you’re golden,” You cross your arms in satisfaction.

“Thank you, thank you.” He repeats hurriedly and then pauses. “Do you need any help?”

“I did, but after helping you, I think I just figured it out,” Your head is brimming with ideas and how you could work red into your outfit.

“If you’re going to figure it out tonight, I suggest doing it quickly,” Felix glances at the digital clock on his bedside table. 23:46.

“Oh sh*t. I didn’t realize it was late,” You curse.

“I figured,” He smiled sympathetically. You spin on your heel and dash out of his room.

Felix was right; you needed to do this fast. The doors to your closet all but flung off their hinges as you moved through the clothes. Whatever outfit you were going to put together, you knew you had to incorporate leather to match your shoes. You have to, you just have to wear your beautiful knee-high boots. They’re your pride and joy.

And then, you spotted the perfect combo. A red sweater, skirt, a loose leather jacket, and tights. So simple, but you found it so elegant. It was classy without a doubt. You checked your phone for the time. 23:57. Right on time, too.

The clothes were set aside on your desk for tomorrow as you readied yourself for bed. You allowed a moment of self-reflection as you sat down on your bed. The exhaustion dripped from your shoulders as you hunched over. It was as if your body suddenly weighed a million pounds. You were exhausted. Thank god the day was over, you thought. As if a magnet was glued to your body, you threw yourself against your bed. You dove head first into your pile of pillows and snuggled in contentedly against them. Pulling your blanket up to your chin, you sighed deeply, breathing in the familiar scent of your fabric softener. As tranquil as you felt, you felt as if something was missing. As if someone was missing. It made no sense to you; he was just 40 feet away.

But it didn’t matter. You wanted him here. With you. Maybe you could only achieve true relaxation in his arms. That was unfathomable. You felt too uncomfortable to depend on someone for solace. You had to achieve that on your own. You turned on your side as you sighed heavily. These thoughts plagued your mind for a while. Even so, you managed to put them at bay long enough to fall into deep sleep. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve! You’ll deal with this some other time.

~~~

“Are you almost ready?” Felix knocks on the bathroom door.

“Just about!” You raise your voice a little as you fix your earrings. Yesterday’s dream is today’s reality; the outfit you laid out looked perfect. Your fingers let the dainty earring cascade down as you looked over your makeup and hair one last time. The bow in the back was even, not a hair out of place, and your makeup had no smudges. You are good to go!

The door opened to reveal Felix readied up in the outfit you helped him pick. Your fingers faltered on the doorhandle. He was breathtaking. His sleek, black hair is styled most gorgeously, highlighting the sharpness of his jaw and high cheekbones. The green blazer (that looked more like a trenchcoat) fell perfectly on his shoulders. And the way the turtleneck hugged his chest and neck made you almost salivate.

“You look great,” You manage. But Felix doesn’t hear you. Not well. He’s busy focused on you. All of you. The way you stand so tall in your shoes, the way your skirt brings out your hips, and the color of your sweater makes him sweat. His lips part before he swallows.

“You look beautiful,” He brings his eyes up to yours. And, he smiles. His eyes shine as his cheeks flush. You rub your arm sheepishly.

“Thank you.”

“Of course,” He breaks his stare and offers you his arm, as usual. You close the door to the bathroom before taking it, and he leads you into the living area.

“I already loaded our stuff into the car. Do you need anything else?” Felix watches as you rummage through your small bag to double-check everything.

“Oh! My gifts!” Your eyes widen in realization as you turn and swiftly go to your room. Seven gifts are tricky to transport, but you hold most of the bags comfortably in both hands. Felix’s wrapped gift catches your eye, and you hesitate. Should you bring it?

No, you want to exchange gifts with Felix privately. What if he doesn’t like it? At least he won’t have the pressure of eight pairs of eyes. He’d just have you.

“Need a hand?” Felix chuckles while watching you wobble out of your room.

“Uh,” You look down at your hands, “yes please..,” You mumble. Felix reaches for the bags in your left hand and moves to open the front door. He locks up and immediately takes your hand in his. You stumble for a second on your platforms, but Felix catches you. He doesn’t say anything as he retracts his hand from your waist. Your fingers squeeze his as he leads you both down to his car.

The drive to Chris’s house was quiet. Low music seeped out from the speakers and floated around the car. It was nice. You appreciated the thin layer of snow you saw outside of the window.

Upon parking the car, you slide out of your seat with Felix opening the door for you. The warmth of his fingers seep through your skin. It sends goosebumps up your arms.

“Should I keep the gifts in the car?” You glance back as Felix holds you steady. You bend down to grab your artichoke dip that Felix placed at your feet.

“I think it’s best to bring them inside. We can do multiple trips,” He shuts your door and moves to open the back door. As you adjust your skirt that had ridden up, Felix grabs his cookies. The short walk up to the front door luckily had no ice. You were in no condition to slip and fall today.

After ringing the doorbell, you shift your weight on your feet. You had hoped someone would open the door before you and Felix froze to death. Luckily, Chris is an angel sent from heaven. The door swung open, and the heat inside reached your body. Chris grins as he looks at you both, his eyes crinkling in just the right way.

“Hi, guys!” He steps away from the door to envelop you in a bone-crushing hug. You make sure he doesn’t crush your dish in the process.

“It’s good to see you again, Chris,” You flash him a grin as you watch him hug Felix with the same intensity.

“It’s always a pleasure. Merry Christmas!” He turns back to you and giggles.

“Merry Christmas!” You mirror him. Felix watches both of you with a warm smile.

“Let’s get you both inside. It’s freezing out here,” Chris shivers as he ushers you both in, a hand on your waist. Once inside, he offers to take your dip out of your hands.

“Oh, thank you. We need to go back to the car. We left some gifts in it,” You gesture over your shoulder. Chris doesn’t miss a beat as he takes Felix’s plate of cookies from him.

“No worries. I’ll leave the door unlocked so you guys can just come right back in,” He turns around and makes his way to what you assume is the kitchen.

“I can grab the gifts if you want,” Felix offers, moving to open the door.

“I’m not letting you carry fourteen gifts by yourself,” You scoff, already walking back outside. Felix breathes out a laugh as he jogs to catch up to you. Both of you scoop up your respective piles of gifts quickly to return inside.

Felix shuts the door as gently as possible with his elbow, and you follow the sound of laughter. Walking down the main foyer, you round a corner to find all of the guys in the living room. Christmas music plays from the TV as you survey the area. All of the boys are dressed up nicely with drinks in their hands. You spot two unfamiliar girls near the sofa talking to Minho, Changbin, and Hyunjin. Jeongin is the first to spot you two. He calls your name and Felix’s.

“Hey, you two!” He waves you both over with a heart-warming grin of his. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, Jeongin,” You say as he pulls you in for an embrace. He squeezes your arms before turning to Felix and wrapping him in a hug.

“Do you guys need some help with those?” He sets down his drink and extends his hands.

“Yes, please,” Your fingers awkwardly maneuver some of the gifts from your hands to his. He collects a couple from Felix as well and moves towards the illuminated Christmas tree you overlooked. There was already a decently sized pile underneath it, and your heart swelled. It’s been so long since you’ve had a warm Christmas surrounded by people you love.

“I think Chan is thinking of having us all open them after dinner,” Jeongin comments as you step back from the tree, admiring it.

“Speaking of dinner, I should go and see him about what I brought,” You think aloud before turning around.

The kitchen has various aromas drifting out of it. There are various trays and pots filled to the brim with food of all sorts sitting on the stove, the counters, and even the little island in the center. In the midst of it all stands Chan with his back turned to the entryway with a glass in his hand.

“Need a hand?” Your voice catches him off guard as he turns.

“No, I think I’m okay,” He looks down at the food simmering in the pot while taking a sip from his drink.

“Where did you put my artichoke dip?” You come up to stand beside him.

“Oh, about that,” He turns to you, “that’s the one thing I was confused by. Do I bake that? Or is it served cold?”

“You bake it before serving.” You smile. “Mind if I heat the oven?”

“Not at all. I stuck it in the fridge,” Chris gestures with his thumb over his shoulder.

“That’s perfect. Thank you,” You fix him a smile as you move to the fridge to grab your dish.

“No worries. I’m finishing up something here. Although, I’m not too sure what it is. I think it might be a stew. Jisung brought it,” He shrugs. “You never know with him.” You laugh heartily as you peel back the aluminum foil on your dip.

“Do you need any help setting up the dinner table or dining area?” You ask.

He glances over to you with a shy smile. “Gia helped me set it up.”

“Gia?” You co*ck your eyebrow. You watch his demeanor change; his shoulders relax and his eyes are fixed with a fondness you’ve never seen in them.

“My girlfriend.”

A wide grin stretches across your face. You feel warm all over, brimming with happiness for your friend. “Since when?”

“A month now? It feels like it’s been so much longer, though. It feels like she’s always been there in my life, you know?” He turns and you can practically see the stars in his eyes.

“Is she one of the girls in the living room?” You grin. He nods with an almost-too-big smile. “I’d love to meet her. I’m really happy for you, Chan.” Chan rotates his glass to mix his drink a bit before looking back up at you.

“Thank you. I’m dying to properly introduce her to everyone. Only Changbin and Jisung know since they’re my roommates.”

“They are?” You don’t know why that surprised you. It makes sense; it was just never talked about. He blinks.

“I never told you that?” He scrunches his eyebrows. You shake your head. He looks back down at his drink. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” You reassure him.

And with that, the oven beeps, letting you know it’s heated up. Chan puts down his drink to help you place the glass dish inside. Behind you, someone shuffles into the kitchen. It’s remarkable - you know who it is by the way he walks.

“Hey, Felix. We were just finishing up in here,” Chan stands up with a smile.

“Hey,” Felix smiles back. “I was just looking for the two of you.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to run off,” You apologize. Felix waves you off with a sweet smile.

“No, you’re fine. You just disappeared for a little while. And, I was looking for you,” Felix turns to Chan, “because I’m looking for something to drink.”

“Oh! Of course, sorry,” Chan chuckles to himself as he walks towards a corner of the counter and gestures to the array of drinks. “They’re all over here.”

“Thanks. Do you want something?” Felix looks at you as you walk over. ]

“Some champagne would be nice.”

Felix nods, picks out a bottle from the ice, and overturns one of the champagne glasses. He pours you a glass expertly before handing it to you. The dryness of the drink was welcome on your tongue. Felix also pours himself some of the champagne before turning back to you and Chan.

“Merry Christmas,” He holds out his drink with a smile. The three drinks meet in the middle with soft clinks, and the kitchen is quiet for a minute as you all take a drink.

“Chan, would you like me to watch my food in the oven?” You clear your throat.

“No, please. I want you all to relax and have a good time. You can stay in the living room,” Chan waves his arms out before him and shakes his head. Something you admire about Chan is his humility. It makes him so beautiful. So, you just smile at him and let Felix guide you back out to the living room.

There, you notice it’s more easygoing than before. Most people sit on the couch, on single sofas, chairs, etc. The atmosphere was bubbly as people laughed and chatted away. Hyunjin was the first to notice your presence, so he waved you and Felix over. He’s standing with Minho and one of the girls from before.

“We haven’t spoken since you guys got here!” He laughs as he moves to wrap you in a hug. The smell of his cologne fills your senses as you breathe him in.

“Sorry, I had to get some things in order before mingling,” You pull away, and he holds your hand between both of his for a second. His smile is warm as he gazes at you. He looks at Felix and fixes him with the same look before hugging him.

“Wow, you both look gorgeous tonight,” Hyunjin’s eyes skim over the two of you, and they sparkle.

“I could say the same about you,” You remark. Minho and the mystery girl watch the interaction with small smiles. “Hi, Minho! It’s good to see you again.”

“Likewise,” He offers fondly. You turn to the girl, suddenly shy. You begin to introduce yourself, but she cuts you off excitedly.

“I know you! Felix’s roommate, right? Bin has told me all about you,” She all but squeals. Bin?

“Is Changbin gossiping about me again?” Felix groans beside you. She laughs.

“It wouldn’t be Changbin if he wasn’t.”

“I hate that you’re right,” Felix sighs. The girl grins, turning back to you.

“I’m Alicia, his girlfriend. He would kill me if he knew I was introducing myself, but he ran off to the bathroom a bit ago sooo..,” She trails off with a cheeky grin.

“Gosh, I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot with these guys,” You chuckle breathily, sipping your champagne. She co*cks her head to the side.

“What do you mean?”

“Sorry if that came out offensive. It just feels like a lot happened and I missed out on it, that’s all,” You suddenly feel self-conscious. Alicia’s face softens.

“It’s okay. Changbin and I have been friends for a while. He plucked up the courage and asked me out about two weeks ago. You haven’t missed much. Well, not with us at least,” She places a hand on your shoulder. You like her already.

“I’d love to know more about the two of you,” You take the opportunity to switch topics. She lightens up immediately and jumps into the conversation with full force. That leaves Minho, Hyunjin, and Felix behind to engage in their conversation.

“He finally asked her out, huh?” Felix gestures to Alicia.

“Yes, oh, my god. He was insufferable in the days leading up to it,” Hyunjin mutters. Felix giggles.

“I’m glad it went well, though. Changbin really likes her,” Felix comments.

“I can think of someone else who should also just ask someone out,” Minho drops. He says it so nonchalantly as he takes a sip from his wine. Felix looks at him.

“Yeah? Who?” He challenges. Minho fixes him with a dead straight look. He looks bored.

“Who do you think?” He crosses his arms. He glances behind Minho to where you stand, talking eagerly with Alicia. You were unaware of the conversation happening mere feet away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Felix takes a long sip from his champagne. Minho rolls his eyes.

“Minho, maybe this isn’t the time or place for this,” Hyunjin warns.

“I just think this has dragged on for far too long,” He shrugs.

“Who are you to determine that?” Felix scoffs. Minho’s eyes soften.

“I’m just trying to look out for you two.” He responds. “I don’t think you gain anything by not doing it.”

“But, I lose everything if I do, and it goes wrong,” Felix replies lamely.

“Felix, you don’t have to rush anything,” Hyunjin gently chimes in. Felix’s eyebrows furrow as he grips his glass tighter.

“It’s Christmas Eve, you guys. Could we table this?” He looks up to Minho with a cold expression.

“Sure. Up to you,” Minho nods. The air around the three men shifts uncomfortably.

“Dinner is ready!” Chan declares as he strolls into the living room. “The food is in the kitchen. Serve yourselves, and then find a place to sit at the table in the next room over.”

Groups of people migrate over to the kitchen, buzzing with excitement. The smells from before only grew stronger as you entered the kitchen behind Alicia. Faced with so many options, you carefully took a bit from just about everything before finding an empty seat near the end of the elongated dinner table. Alicia slides in on your left with a sweet smile, and Felix smoothly sits on your right. While waiting for everyone to settle down, you take a moment to admire the table spread. Its centerpiece is a beautiful flower arrangement that just screams Christmas. Multiple candles line the center of the table that sits on top of the most lavish table topper, no doubt provided by Changbin.

Dinner went by in a flash. You spent most of it talking to Jisung and Seungmin, who sat in front of you. You noticed Gia and Chan sitting together, and she seemed so in love with him that you could feel it from the other side of the table. Felix joins your conversation every so often, and your heart almost bursts with joy. His hand brushes yours under the table, and he glances at you. You share a look with him as you grab your hand with his, heart pounding. His eyes widening goes unnoticed by everyone near him… except you.

After dessert, you’re all gathered in the living room. You’re sitting next to Felix, munching on one of his cookies. Most of them were eaten immediately. So, you’re sharing one of the last ones with Felix. Chan was handing out the gifts that sat beneath the tree.

“This one is for… Seungmin,” He passes the gift to Hyunjin, who then deposits it in Seungmin’s lap. So far, you have about four gifts beside you. Felix has five. You had felt bad that you didn’t know about Chan or Changbin’s girlfriends. You wanted to give them gifts, too.

Felix suddenly taps on your thigh, catching your attention. “I have a gift for you. It’s at home. I wanted you to open it when we got back.”

Your cheeks flush. “I left my gift for you at home, as well,” Your shy smile returns. Felix feels his hands go clammy the longer he stares at you.

“Felix! This one’s yours,” Hyunjin breaks his attention as he hands him a gift bag. Felix thanks him quietly as he places the gift down by his feet. After handing out the final gift, it went to Jeongin, everyone started ripping open their presents.

You received a small box of face masks from Chan and some new, sound-canceling headphones. It was almost too much. Minho got you a beautiful off-the-shoulder sweater. He grumbled something about not knowing your size, but you adore it. Changbin got you a new throw blanket with marine animals on it. Hyunjin gifted you Dior lipglosses because, of course, he did. Han had two CDs burned; one with your favorite songs, and the other with songs he thinks you’d enjoy. Seungmin bought you two tickets to the planetarium he knows you love. And, finally, Jeongin had custom-ordered a crocheted bee and a phone charm.

All of the gifts you received bring tears to your eyes. You felt so seen, so known… so loved. You make sure to hug all of them tightly as you thank them for their gifts. Felix also seems ecstatic with his presents. His toothy grin hasn’t left his face in over thirty minutes. There’s an excited buzz that fills the room as everyone talks about their gifts, and grateful they are. Hyunjin leans over to talk to you.

“Happy with your gifts?” He smiles.

“More than happy. I think my heart is going to melt,” You place a hand over your heart.

“I’m glad. You deserve them all,” He leans back, relaxed.

“How about you? Do you like what you got?”

“Of course! The guys know me so well; I couldn’t have asked for anything better.” His voice is laced with adoration as he looks around the room at his best friends. “Your gift was amazing, too.” He nudges your shoulder with his.

“I’m relieved you all liked what I got you. I was so worried about it,” You confess.

“Are you kidding? Your gifts were awesome! I know they all loved theirs,” He beams. You breathe a sigh of relief.

“What about Felix’s gift? What did you get him?” Hyunjin peers over you to look at Felix’s gifts.

“Oh, his gift is at home.”

“Is it embarrassing?”

“No! I just wanted him to open it privately. You know, in case he doesn’t like it.”

“Uh huh…,”

“I swear. It’s nothing bad.”

“You’re getting so defensive,” Hyunjin says with a smirk. His eyes narrow, and his features make him look so fox-like.

“You’re interrogating me,” You fold your arms.

“What about what he got you?”

“He… also left it at home.”

“Was this planned?”

“Believe it or not, no.”

Hyunjin furrows his brows, appearing deep in thought. “Maybe he’s the one that got you something embarrassing.”

“I doubt it. Felix is too sentimental for that,” You chuckle, glancing in his direction. He was enthusiastically talking to Jisung about something unknown.

“Who knows? He got me a ferret plushie,” Hyunjin holds up the limp toy in his hand. It’s almost comical how tiny it looks in his massive grasp.

“I’d consider that sentimental. It’s adorable! Don’t pretend like you don’t love it.”

“That’s so not the point,” Hyunjin laughs, hitting you with the plushie.

“Enlighten me then!” You cross your legs expectantly.

“The point is that it’s embarrassing how well he knows me,” He sniffs.

“I think you’re the only one here that thinks that,” You shake your head with a smile. Hyunjin quite literally deflates in his seat. His fingers swipe over the head of the ferret a few times as his eyes inspect it. His attention is caught by something else as he sharply looks up.

“I think Felix wants your attention,” He nudges you with his knee. You look up in the direction Hyunjin was staring, and sure enough, Felix was staring back at you. Not Hyunjin, just you. He briefly turns to Jisung and says something quick before making his way over to you. His brisk pace unnerves you. You uncross your legs, cross your arms, and just wait. Arriving in front of you, he dips down by your ear.

“I want to leave. Are you okay with that?” He whispers. His breath fans over your ear, and you shiver. He steps back with a hand extended towards you. You grab it firmly and nod, standing up. Hyunjin looks between the two of you with a perplexed expression.

“We’re leaving now,” You look down at him, squeezing Felix’s fingers. Hyunjin stands up quickly.

“Already? But it’s early,” He slides his sleeve back to check his watch. You offer him an apologetic smile.

“We’ll get together soon, I promise,” You let go of Felix’s hand to hug him.

“We better. I miss you. Both of you.”

“We miss you two, Hyun,” Felix chimes in, already reaching for your hand again. You finish bidding him goodbye, and Felix starts pulling you away to say goodbye to the others.

“Thank you guys so much for being here. Tonight was lovely,” Chan steps away from your hug and squeezes your shoulders.

“Thanks for having us,” You grin. Gia says a quick goodbye as well, but you’re able to exchange numbers with her before you leave.

In the car, you shiver as your legs hit the cold leather seats. Felix shuts his door with a hiss. He turns on the car speedily and immediately reaches for the heater. You both sit in silence as you concentrate on warming up. Your hands go to your knees, rubbing them. Felix notices your movement and starts shedding his blazer. He places it wordlessly over your lap.

“Won’t you be cold?” You watch as he adjusts himself in his seat and grips the steering wheel.

“I’ll be okay. You need it more,” Felix says gently, pulling out of the parking spot. You return your gaze to your lap, thumbing gently at the buttons of his coat.

Once again, the drive back home is silent, save for quiet Christmas music coming from the radio. Felix quietly hums along to the tunes. The quiet streets of Seoul are beautiful at night. You admire the dimly lit sidewalks and closed shops.

Felix has a sense of urgency as he strides to your apartment door. His blazer now rests around your shoulders. His cologne is the only thing on your mind as you follow suit. He shivers as he slides his shoes off.

“Felix, could you give me a hand?” You wobble slightly as you stand on one leg to unzip your boots. One hand is on a zipper, and the other is holding his blazer in place so it doesn’t slide. He turns and reaches out to steady your shoulders. Even in the freezing cold, his hands remain a fireplace. Your ankles are crying out with relief as you step down onto the floor. You drop a few inches lower, placing your eyes level with Felix’s. His fingers flex against his blazer.

“Do you want to change?” He sweetly says.

“I think I want to exchange gifts first,” Came your small reply. You toyed with the hem of the blazer as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other. His hands retracted from your body, and he suddenly felt so reserved.

“Okay. My gift for you is in my room.”

“Same here. Let’s bring them out to the living room,” You try coaxing him with a smile. He nods slowly, retreating to his room. It was uncharacteristic of him.

Both of you return to the living room with gifts. Yours was in a bag, and his was wrapped. You feel giddy with excitement. What could Felix have gotten you? You both settle on the couch timidly. Felix lays his gift in his lap while he slightly pulls up his sleeves. Your fingers flex against the material of the bag. Deciding to leap, you sit up straighter and hand your gift out to him.

“Merry Christmas, Felix,” Anxiety floods your stomach as he receives the gift. He sets it down beside him as he hands you his gift.

“Merry Christmas,” He smiles shyly.

“Open yours first,” You encourage. He glances at you for certainty. You nod twice as your leg begins to bounce up and down. Felix removes the tissue paper one by one and keeps his gaze on you as he feels around the bag. His features change into confusion.

“Did you get me multiple things?” He smiles with a quirked brow. You shrug. He pulls out the largest item. His eyes widen extraordinarily. His eyes jump from you to the box numerous times.

“You did not,” He begins, swallowing. His jaw dropped as he struggled to form words. A smile appears on your face as you observe his reaction. In his hands was a brand new keyboard.

“There’s more in there,” You urge again. He takes a deep breath before reaching back inside. He pulls out a glass jar with custom key switches inside. If Felix looked shocked before, the look on his face now just screamed “bewildered.” He was absolutely floored.

“This can’t be real,” He shook his head, turning the jar over. The switches clinked around the glass in a funky way. You can’t help but giggle.

“One more,” You say, crossing your legs. He stares at you for a minute. He hesitantly reaches inside and pulls out another box akin to the keyboard. He knew exactly what lies inside. He lets out an incredulous laugh. He flips open the cardboard, and his face just melts. A flustered smile lay on his lips, and his eyes shone.

“Cinnamaroll keycaps,” He breathes out. A proud smile rests on your face.

“I know you like him,” Was your reply.

“This… I can’t even speak. I don’t have the words,” He sighs out almost dreamily.

“I’m glad you liked it. I was so worried you wouldn’t,” Your shoulders slump, your anxieties lift.

“‘Liked’ doesn’t even begin to cover it. I’m, like, eternally grateful. This is the best gift I’ve ever received!” He stands up and starts babbling. “I mean, I’ve wanted these switches since like forever. And, I know this keyboard brand is expensive. And, on top of that custom keycaps?” His hands are in his hair now.

“You’re welcome,” You say. His eyes set themselves on you. He seems to glitch for a minute, his body jolting forward, but he catches himself at the last minute. Then, sheepishly, rubs the back of his neck. And he sits back down.

“Thank you. Thank you… so much. Genuinely. I don’t know how I can even compete with this,” Felix places the gift bag on the ground as he looks at his new gifts in his lap.

“We’ll see,” You laugh, grasping the wrapped gift. That catches his attention, and he settles. Your fingers gently peel back the wrapping paper as your brain pieces together what it is you’re holding. It seems like a… book of sorts? It’s brown, and it has pages. Your eyebrows furrow as you unwrap the rest of it. You look down at the cover of it. There’s a beautifully intricate design on the cover of it. It has a fairy on it surrounded by twisting vines that tangle around each other. Leaves stick out of them, and there are flowers scattered around the stems.

“Is this a new journal?” You look at Felix with a gentle smile. It was beautiful. You did need a new one. He shakes his head, and your smile falters for a second.

“Open it.”

And you do.

And how your heart melts in your chest.

On the first page, there’s a handwritten title reading “Life Together in the Past 10 Months,” with the date and Felix’s name with a heart beside it. You had only read the first page, but tears already pricked in your eyes. Flipping the page, there are a couple of pictures of the first day you and Felix moved in together. There’s a little note beside a picture with all the moving boxes inside; “Day 1! I was so excited to live with my new roommate. I was a little apprehensive since you were a girl, and I didn’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable. But I remember how we instantly clicked, and I knew I would have the best time living here with you.”

There wasn’t a page dedicated to every day you spent together (otherwise this would be an insanely thick scrapbook), but Felix noted all of your favorite moments. There was a page dedicated to the time the power went out, and you guys camped out in the living room with flashlights. Another was noting one of the cooking disasters that caused a spoon to break, and make you guys throw out a pot. Of course, he talked about your endless sleepovers, movie nights, and lazy days. He talked about the days you spent with his friends, college, and so many other things.

Tears fell freely down your face as you continued to read. You wanted to consume all of it immediately, but you suddenly remembered Felix’s presence beside you as he changed positions on the couch. Your hands go to wipe your eyes, but they find Felix’s nimble hands already there. His palm rests gently on the side of your face as his thumb wipes underneath your eyes.

“Felix,” you sniff “I don’t even know what to say.” He chuckles beside you, dropping his hand from your face. You take a deep breath to steady yourself.

“This must have taken you ages. You had to keep all the pictures you took, and you put stickers in here, too.” Your head snaps up to look at him. “Oh, my god. And the things you wrote.”

“So, you like it?” His lips quirk upwards, his hands coming together in his lap as he squeezes his fingers.

“Like you said, I don’t think ‘like it’ encapsulates what I feel.” You laugh. “This is such a special gift to me, Felix. Thank you for this.” You embrace the book in a hug. “I feel like this beats my gift.”

“Absolutely not. Your gift to me was the superior gift,” He starts.

“Felix, yours made me cry.”

“Yours almost made me cry.”

“Your gift is sentimental. You know how much this means to me.”

“Yeah, but, yours could be sentimental. You know how much I love keyboards, and anything related to them.”

There’s a beat of silence before you both start giggling. He breathes out a final laugh as he looks at you. There’s a fire burning within his irises as your eyes meet his. You watch as the smile on his face slides off, and instead, he looks at you intensely.

“I know I said this before, but I’m glad you’re here with me tonight.” He drops his gaze to his lap. “You make me feel… well, a lot of things, actually. But, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Your heart picks up its pace in your chest as you hear his words.

“I..,” He starts but stops. He glances down towards your hands, and then back up to your face. “I wanted to give you something that made you feel the way I feel when I’m with you. I’m not sure if that was achieved. But if it wasn’t, I hope that, instead, you now know how much you mean to me.”

A blush appears on your cheeks. You feel glued to your seat, leaning in closer to Felix little by little. He chews on his lips for a second before continuing.

“I hope we can continue to spend these holidays together. I don’t think I can function properly if we don’t,” His laugh is airy as he finishes, almost like he wants it to come out as a joke.

“I hope so too, Felix.” You suddenly find your voice. “Your gift was perfect. You… are perfect. You mean the most to me, too,” Your breath catches in the back of your throat. He continues to look at you like you’re his world. What would you know, though?

His gaze drops once again as he reaches for your hand. He takes it gently in his. Your eyes mirror his as you watch him hold your hand. His hands are shaking ever so slightly. He takes a deep breath, catching your attention.

“I have so many things I want to say to you. I don’t know how to start. I don’t even know where to begin.” He suddenly starts with a stutter. You’re shocked at his sudden confession. His face contorts into a look of abrupt fear, and he lets go of your hand, standing up. He exhales deeply as he takes a few steps forward. Your body fills with concern.

“Felix.” You stand up and walk up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He halts in his movements and tenses. “You don’t have to know how to start. If you want to tell me something, you can. I’ll listen to anything you say.”

He spins around, and you move your hand away from him. He snatches it back. A look of shock appears on your face. A look of determination rests on him, along with a deep blush. His fingers are outright shaking against yours.

“Sometimes,” He starts shakily, “you’re the one thing I look forward to seeing when I get home from an exhausting day of classes. You are someone so loving, and you never hesitate to show how much you love your friends, family, or just anything. You dedicate so much time to others that I often see you neglect yourself.”

His words catch you off guard. His fingers squeeze yours as he continues.

“You’re so incredibly smart both in school, and just in general. You have this instinct that I’ve never seen in another person when it comes to comforting others. And, that’s just what’s always on my mind when I see you. I have so much left to say, but honestly, you make me speechless when you’re around.”

Your eyes are glued to his as he continues. Your legs shake as your heart pounds wildly. There’s nothing you can do but listen intently to everything he’s saying.

“I want to learn more about you, even though I feel like I know so much. I want to know everything,” He’s breathing hard at this point, emotion dripping with every word he speaks. You finally recognize the look in his eyes. Your heart pounds as you hold your breath.

“I love you.”

Time slows to a halt as you blink rapidly. The air is fragile. Although, for once, it’s not stifling. All you can hear is your blood pumping in your ears. All you can feel is Felix. Felix’s hands in yours, Felix’s gaze on you, Felix’s emotions. You could feel your body vibrate with emotion as you desperately clung to his hand. His lips remain parted as small pants escape him in fast bursts.

This moment was one you’ve been longing for, aching for. Had Felix not been holding on to you, you would have collapsed. His eyes desperately search yours for an answer. You swallow thickly as you try to find your voice.

“I…,” You begin, parting your lips to breathe heavily. For a moment, you both just stare at each other, waiting.

Hearing your lack of a response, Felix’s face drops with a realization. He withdraws his hand from you and begins to back away. Your heart plummets to your stomach as you realize what’s going on.

He thinks you’re rejecting him.

You panic, scrambling to find words, an action, anything, that would make him understand that, no, you weren’t rejecting him.

Felix moves to turn around. But before he can, your hand shoots out to land on his shoulder. He stops, forcing himself to look back at you. You pause for a moment, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“You don’t have to say anything to me,” He bites out.

“No, wait,” You breathe out, collecting your thoughts and shaking your head. Your eyes roam his face as your words stick to your throat. He pushes your hand off his shoulder.

“No, really. I understand. I just wanted to let this out. Thank you for listening to me. I hope that it isn’t too awk- mmf!” He begins to talk but is promptly interrupted.

In a split second, you had crossed the distance between the two of you and pulled him in for a kiss. Your hands desperately clutch onto the sides of his face as you hope you’re conveying what you want to say without words. He gasps into your mouth as he’s rendered, quite literally, speechless. You pull away after a couple of seconds, keeping your head close to his.

“I’m sorry. This was the only thing I could think of that would make you listen to me,” You whisper with a small laugh.

“Yeah, I’m listening,” He breathes out a laugh, dazed. You pull your head away to look him in his eyes again, your hands falling to rest on his shoulders.

“You just caught me off guard. I, honestly, didn’t think you felt that way about me,” Your hands squeeze his shoulders as he places his hand over yours. He just looks at you. Lovingly.

“I love you, too,” You whisper. At this point, you were pleasantly surprised you hadn’t passed out. With the rate at which your heart was beating, you considered it a miracle.

You could feel the tension evaporate from Felix’s shoulders at your response. A breath escapes him, like a choked gasp. His beautiful eyes were engulfing you.

He moves in the blink of an eye. His hands are suddenly around your body as he’s pulling you in for a tight hug. He was pouring every ounce of affection he has for you into this one embrace. And you returned it with the same force. His fingers squeeze you tight. One of his hands moves towards your head, pushing it further into his neck, and you just feel like crying. You’re overcome with emotion as you allow yourself to cry into him.

“You okay?” He breathes into your ear. He feels you nod against his shoulder.

“Yeah, ‘m fine. Just emotional, I guess,” You choke on a laugh as you sniffle. You can feel his shoulders bounce as he laughs as well.

“Makes sense.” He says, stepping back from the embrace. His hands rest on your waist, keeping you close. “This isn’t how I thought today was going to go.”

“Today has gone much better than I thought it ever would,” You finish wiping your eyes before fixing him with a shy smile. He laughs giddly. You just watch him as he laughs. God, he’s so beautiful. How can it be that someone like him likes, no, loves, someone like you? Your head spins as you think about it. You just observe him in all of his glory for a moment. The way his eyes crinkle when he truly laughs, the way his nose scrunches up, the way he just laughs with his full body. God, you were so in love with him. It was stupid how you never let yourself just admit it. You wonder, in that moment, if it could’ve been like this from the beginning. His eyes open to find you staring at him, and he feels his body heat up. You watch his eyes fall to your lips and then back up to your eyes.

“Can I kiss you again?” He whispers, already leaning forward. His eyes are half-lidded as you answer.

“Please.” Came your response.

Felix wasted no time in placing his lips over yours. It was timid and slow, and perfect. He held you impossibly close as he kissed you softly. He tasted of Christmas, confessions, and comfort. It was perfect. He was perfect.

Your hands are still on his shoulders as you kiss him back. You can feel how he’s holding himself back, how he wants to take it slow. You can only assume he’s doing this for you. You’re having none of it.

You open your mouth to kiss him deeper. You invite him to kiss you harder. All he can do is accept. His hands squeeze your waist as they drop to your hip. The effect he has on you is dizzying. You can barely stay upright. You feel like you’re swaying on your knees. For good reason; Felix’s kisses take your breath away.

“Felix,” You whine softly as he pulls away.

“I know.” He shudders as he inhales. His face remains inches away from yours as he looks at you. You just want to kiss him. You need him.

“How about we go to sleep? It’s been a long day. We can talk more in the morning,” He offers gently, stepping away to deter you from kissing him again.

“I never thought you’d be the one to co*ck-block yourself,” You bark out a laugh at your own joke.

“co*ck-block?” He sputters. “I didn’t… that’s not what I…,” He blinks rapidly as he tries to form a response. You just giggle as you look at him.

“I know. I’m just teasing,” You pat his shoulder. He pouts as he sighs.

“I stopped us because you look like you’re falling asleep standing up,” He removes his hands from your hips and watches your attempts at standing up straight without swaying back and forth.

“I think I am. Who knew confessions make you really f*cking tired,” Your sentence is punctuated with a yawn.

“It makes sense. Your body is releasing a lot of stuff. It’s normal to be drained, or in your case, sleepy,” He returns his arm around your waist as he leads you to your bedroom.

“Can we sleep in your room tonight?” You turn and ask. You’re ready to start begging, to be honest. At this moment in time, you’d do anything to sleep in Felix’s room; wrapped up in his blankets, in his scent, and, bonus points, cuddling him.

“If that’s what you want.” He pecks your cheek and lets you go. “Just go get changed. I’ll be waiting for you inside.”

You probably could’ve set a world record with how fast you changed your clothes and removed your makeup. You had waited so long for this, you’d be damned if you had to wait a second longer. Felix was already in bed by the time you stumbled into his room. He had his shirt off with his lights dimmed. He was underneath the puffy duvet he had that you adore.

“I am so ready to sleep for 14 hours,” You groan as you flop onto his bed.

“Oh, you poor thing. You’ve had such an exhausting day.” He tuts, placing his phone on his bedside table. “First, a Christmas party with all of your greatest friends. How awful. Then, your roommate tells you he’s in love with you. The horror!” He gasps, a hand over his heart.

You glare at him. But, you’re too exhausted to fight back.

“Don’t pretend like you’re not also exhausted. Your eyes are fighting to stay open,” You huff as you slide yourself underneath his blankets.

“Then how about we put this to the side and just sleep, hmm?” He hums, turning off his lights and sliding closer to you. A nod is all he gets in return. He smiles as he slips his arm over your waist and drags you closer to him.

You’re completely relaxed as your chest hits his. He slides his left hand underneath your head to tangle itself into your scalp. You all but groan happily. You throw your arm around his torso as you pull yourself impossibly closer. His breath fans the top of your head as he kisses you one last time.

“Goodnight, love,” He whispers.

“Goodnight, Felix,” You return.

And you fall asleep with a smile on your face.